No Regrets!

Bighorn training is complete. I can't believe it's over. I am thrilled with how it all went and I am ready. With only 11 days before we line up this will be a very short taper. This is how my schedule was originally planned and I think it's going to be the perfect amount. After my last post when I claimed to be very tired I jinxed myself. Bill got the flu and within 3 days I had too. Fortunately it was fast and furious. I missed one short run and instead laid in a shivery fever ball on the couch. By Friday I was running again. I remember getting the flu before a race several years ago and someone told me the antibodies I develop to fight off the flu will make me stronger. I went with that thought this time. :) From now until the race I will maintain some quality in my runs in order to keep my body guessing. Mostly I want to prevent if from heading into a deep slumber! As I mentioned in my last post this is the only training plan in which I have stuck with 4 week cycles all they way to the end. I definitely noticed two diferences. First, the Tuesday 2 hour tempo trail run after the Build 2 weekends work was hard. My legs didn't feel ready to rip around single track. It would take me longer to get all the blood moving in a synergistic fashion. My pace stayed strong but the effort seemed harder. Second, the third week of hill repeats were a challenge both mentally and physically. They were mentally challenging because I was well aware of what they require. It seemed like my cardio was ready and willing but my legs were protesting the long climb at hill repeat pace. The first repeat was always harder. The second seemed better but my eyes would start to roll in my head. The third was just necessary work. I am not sure if keeping this 4 week cycle is beneficial, if pushing through that discomfort will make me better prepared for what I know will come in a 100M run. I will let you know mid June. :)

It's been raining for over a month here in Portland. I generally don't get the weather blues but these grey cold wet days have gotten to me. I am ready to see some sun! For my final weekend of training we were treated to rare but needed sun sighting. On Saturday the skies were amazingly blue and the sun was so warm. However, that quickly ended leaving my final run on Sunday a total soaker. It was so rainy and cold. Six hours was about all I could take! I literally rung out my clothes while running. My shirt was so heavy from water it started to turn into a dress! My gloves were absolutely useless and the stream crossing were right down sketchy. One slip and you were part of a waterfall. Rain, mud, water and cold was nothing short of pure character building. Best of all, Micheal and I laughed at the absurdity of what we were doing. Running along the Benson Plateau in a cloud!

Of all the 100M races I have trained for I have to say this has been the best on many levels. It's been fun to share the training with Micheal, Cheri, Carrie, Amy, Susan and all the others I got the opportunity to hang out with. The Oregon contingent heading to Bighorn is going to be fun to watch. Everyone seems ready and excited to tackle those mountains. With the out and back venue there will be lots of motivation and encouragement. I set some goals early in the season

and kept those forefront in my mind. I wanted to have a mentally positive season free of any negative yuk and that has very much happened leaving feeling upbeat on confident. I wanted to the second day run of my back to back to be strong. All the second days have been more than I could ask for. I really dug into my psyche to push myself physically on that day. With the help of Micheal I was able to see faster and stronger runs. I am very appreciative of all the help. When I wrote down my goals and talked them over with Bill he said he had no doubt I would make all of it happen. Today I found a note he left for me this morning. I will keep much of it to myself but he wrote, "I have never met anyone who lives their truth and asks so much of themselves yet

wakes up and goes to bed with bright eyes and a deep smile. I admire and adore your enthusiasm and bravery. I know you have worked hard though none of us would ever see it in your face or feel it in our day because your strength is seemingly endless....." That was the sweetest and the best note ever! In the wee hours of Bighorn I will have to remember this because I am pretty certain I might not be smiling and have seemingly endless energy. :)

Now I am just hoping they don't call for the Alternate Snow Route. It appears there is still snow at Porcupine Pass and I have no idea at what point they will make the final call but as it stands today there in no news on changing the route. I've run the Alternate Route and am very much looking forward to the normal course.

Swim upstream or drown!

(a very beat up Ronda)

Two more weeks of training and they are 2 of the hardest. This week and next my miles will climb in the 90's and maybe closer to 100. That's a lot for me. With 4 quality workouts a week and high miles I am feeling tired. It's like a deja vu and I am certainly aware of this feeling but riding the line between over training and appropriate fatigue is hard for me. The teeter totter has the potential to swing either way if I am not attentive. Bighorn will be number 20 something for me. I have to go back and outline the 100M races I have done and funny that I am not sure on the number. I should have it imprinted in my brain but I don't. Seems like yesterday I was lining up at Angeles Crest 100M for my first experience of traveling through the mountains on foot for 100 miles. Since I have run enough of these you would think I have this all figured out but I don't. I think that's why I keep coming back for more. There is always some new lesson or discovery with each and every training regimen. It's like free therapy and rapid growth both physically and mentally.

This will be the only 100M race I have trained for in which I have stuck with 4 week cycles. Generally I have jumped down to 3 week cycles during the Peak Phase. There have been two reasons for that. First, due to the timing of a training race I've had to make adjustments. Second, I need more rest when it gets this intense. This year neither issue came up and here I am on my last 4 week cycle with this week being Build 2. I have to admit, I am feeling tired. The challenge is determining where or why. How much is physical and how much is mental. How can I fool my body with mind tricks? It's much harder is trick my mind, it's smart. I know I am asking a lot out of my body right now. There is no doubt about that. The question is: Is it too much? I am still on the fence and not willing to make that call yet. All my workouts have been measurably positive. What I mean by that is my heart rate and pace coincide. When they start to slip I know it's too much. My mind might be tired. My brain might simply be sluggish when it comes to preparing for my day. I have other people who count on me to be more than a runner. In order to achieve my goals I am extremely organized and routine. Not only do I love that but it's paramount in allowing me to get the workouts I have chosen to do in. Seems like life is busy right now. Lot's of school requirements for Alex and lots of planning for what he needs and wants as he gets ready for High School. Yes, seems a bit early but they start stuff now and their not even done with the 8th grade. Crazy but that's the way it rolls. In order for me to run 4 quality sessions and miles ranging in 80-100 I have to be on my toes. I might be tired of being on my toes. Does any of this matter? Not one damb bit!

It's time to suck it up and get over myself. Time to stop thinking about why I am tired and just continue to use data to guide my last 2 weeks effort. The mind is powerful instrument in either propelling us or detouring us. I have been detoured and hate it so I refuse to succumb to the emotional piece of difficulty and fatigue. Giving in or giving up, however you choose to think about it is not an option. That doesn't mean I am not going to have a pity party or two. I honestly believe the body has it's own cycles and I need to be aware of what it's telling me. Lord knows I have spent enough quality time with it. I should be fully aware of every signal it sends. Are you doing to much? Are you being weak? Hard to to say. Since I am choosing to get over myself it's time to buckle down and do my final preparations. To continue to work on the goals I outlined in the beginning. Find my mantra and man up so to speak.

Last week was capped with Friday hill repeats with 6,800 feet of ascent of which I ran every single step. My legs were burning from the inside out. My glutes were screaming by the end. Saturday I did 30 miles on the Wildwood trail. Not much climb but lots of running on rolling terrain. The mud was crazy leaving dirt clods in my shoes. Perfect training for Bighorn. :) I topped of the weekend with a road 10K. Lululemon put on it's first race. I haven't laced up a pair of road shoes since February and managed to drag myself at a 7:35 pace. I lined up with minimal expectations. Not much beyond participating and supporting the event. Surprisingly I found some legs and was able to run a great pace not breaking 160 beats per minute. Alex and Kari (Micheal and Lisa's) daughter ran the 5K and seemed to really have fun. This week will be a solid bunch of Gorge training. Since Bill has decided to go around Rainier with some friends he might even join the fun.

So besides my general fatigue all is well for Bighorn. Looking forward to pushing myself through this funk and seeing what emerges.

MacDonald Forest 50K

Capping my peak with the Mac was perfect. MacDonald Forest is one of the oldest true trail runs in Oregon. It offers over 6,500 feet of ascent and winds around the hills just outside of Corvallis. For many it's a tradition with some folks participating for over 15 years. It has the feel of a family reunion. Lots of familiar faces, lots of veterans and many new ultra runners mingle the arboretum before the race. An hour can pass before you know it catching up with everyone who seems to be in the best of moods.

This was my 9th time running the Mac. For many years the course would change depending on what new tortuous trail the RD's would build. It's was always a different distance but always near a 50K. My best year at MacDonald Forest was 5:27 but the course was only slightly over 30 miles. That was the only short year I ran so I can't count that as a PR. For the last 3 years the course has been nearly the same so comparing times is easy. The course is 31.6 miles. My best was 2 years ago when I ran 5:35:49. This year I ran 5:35:56. Close but not cigar. :) However, I felt amazing. To put it in perspective of course I needed to analyze my training and compare both years. My fastest year was 2008 and I had to run hill repeats the day before. Though that was a tough challenge I was only on 3 weeks cycles and my total mileage for the week was only 72. This year I am on 4 week cycles meaning my last rest week was over 3 weeks ago. Since I had to juggle my runs the prior weeks to a Sunday/Monday schedule I had zero days off since last Saturday. With Monday of this same week being my long run I topped this week at 90 miles and 16,000 feet of climbing at an average pace of just over a 10 minute mile. For me that is a whopper week. First my miles are high for what I generally run which is around 80 during the peak phase for a 100M race and my quality is obviously high if I am pushing just over a 10 minute mile for over 16,000 feet of ascent

Skip through the numbers I am simply on cloud nine on how I felt yesterday. I was in complete control of my race. That means I fueled perfectly and I could adjust my gears accordingly. If I needed to bump up the pace I had it. I could climb super well. My uphill strength is probably the best it's been. My downhill running still needs improving but I suspect with the next 4 weeks of training and focusing on that I will see results. I have learned so much about recovery in the last year. How to eat, what to add as supplements and most importantly I feel a strong connection to my body. Listening to my body and reacting according is huge for me. I am a driver so I will push and push. Most times pushing too far only to find myself really tired and not recovery fast enough. Today I feel great. Some would say I should have ran harder. I ran as fast as this body could move but more importantly what this tells me as I have more in me. I am almost ready for the 100M race.

Yesterday was not just a gauge for fitness it was a blast with friends. Micheal, Carrie and I carpooled to the start only to get lost. How do you get lost going to Corvallis? I don't know but thankfully Carrie had her IPhone came in handy and it navigated us through the back country arriving at the start with plenty of time to spare. We chatted and got ourselves prepared for a glorious day full of sunshine which has been a rare but certainly welcome sight. With a field of over 270 it was going to be a busy day on the trails which made it even more fun running with friends. I spent most of my day trying to keep Cheri from passing me. I was successful but it's only a matter of time before she catches me. Now a well earned recovery week. I am ready for it. I know the final three weeks of training before Bighorn are going to be big. I am already planning the perfect runs to top off my training.

In the groove!

Smack in the middle of the peak phase for Bighorn and I feel great. I don't know if my body just knows it's time to recover rapidly and stay motivated or if my love of the hard push is the driver. Whatever it is I am going with it! MacDonald Forest 50K is this weekend and it will be my final run of the a peak week. No cut back week for me. Miles are stacking up near 90 now with over 20K in climbing per week. My average mile pace for the that load is the best it's been.

Hill repeats are like a welcome friend and so far I have had 2 sessions. Still not beating my time of 42:38 to the first clearing but getting very close. The good news is I feel super strong on all the ascents. I am reaching the clearing with just seconds difference between the repeats so I am giving myself an A+. The first week I only had 2 repeats but last week we started triples. I am slated for triples now for all three weeks of the next cycle. This week will be the end of a 4 week cycle with 1 recovery week. After that it's Build 1, Build 2, Peak, Taper, Taper/Race. That's seems so fast and I am excited.

Following repeats it's been a 5-6 hour run. Those will now increase with the quality going up near the end of each run. So far I have had really nice second day runs. Some of the best I can remember. Maybe it's the exceptional company (thanks for the support friends). Going to add VO2 max stuff for the final cycle. Those workouts will be part of the weekday stuff. The weather could be a bit warmer and less wet but I am not complaining. I might complain when I see that second beating sun at Bighorn. :)

My goal for the next 4 weeks is to stay focused, have fun, stay healthy and make the most of each workout. I want to bring in those second day back to back efforts and make them work. Additionally, I want to continue to keep my mind clear and positive. Continue surrounding myself with awesome motivated people who like to share the fun and the workload. No negative yuk exists and I plan to keep it that way.

Peak Training is here

59 more days until I get to run Bighorn 100M. The last time I ran it we were forced onto the alternate snow route last minute due to unrelenting snow. I am really hoping we get to do the original course this year. I am seriously looking forward to the grind to Porcupine Pass on the narrow no trail in the wee hours of the night. There is only 8 weeks left so subtracting the 10 day taper that leave 6 weeks of heads down training. This is my favorite part of ultra running.



Not only do I absolutely relish the hard back to backs that start this week I love the challenge of making it all work. With my lovable type A personality the balancing act is almost as hard as the runs. I don't want to miss one sporting event, I don't want eat like crap, I don't want my dishes or laundry to pile up, I don't want my arms to turn to total flab and my wings to grow hair. I'll even admit I don't leave my house without all the beds made. Since I don't live in my own private running world and I have a family who expects me to do more than lay my tired butt on the couch it makes these next weeks the perfect challenge. Success will be measured in 2 ways. First, can I get it all done and still be my happy self? Second, will I rock those hard workouts and get the most out of them? Due to Alex's track schedule I have bumped my week to a Tues. - Mon. schedule for the next three weeks. Track meets are an all day event and I can't miss one to go for a run because I would be running along feeling like a looser so why bother. My week of running will look something like this. 3 long recovery workouts, 1 day off, one long 3A/3B trail effort of at least 2 hours then the back to backs. The back to backs will be 4 hours with 2-3X45 minute hill repeats at lactic threshold which I will do on Sunday. Then on Monday back that up with 6-7 hours of running in the 3A/3B range with some lactic threshold stuff on the second half. Both these days will be in the Gorge. Lucky for me a couple of my friends are going to join in the fun. I can and will go run in the Gorge solo but having company is always good and makes the nerves calmer. During the long tired times every sound in the woods can turn into a cougar stalking or a bear attack in a cluttered lactic acid filled mind. :) So as it stands for the next couple of weeks I have 3 seriously quality runs, 3 recovery efforts and one day off. After MacDonald Forest which just happens to coincide with the end of track season it's back to a normal week for the final training.



How am I going execute. I have cleared my calendar. Nothing but life and running exists for then next 6 weeks! Now that is living. :)

Peterson Ridge Rumble!

I rumbled, tumbled and stumbled my way through the rumble on Sunday. It took me 5:54:40 or 9:43 pace. I am very pleased with the outcome. With no cut back week and a fairly tired training body I did the best I could do. Most ultra runners use races as training runs. It's a good way to be social, get a good workout, have aid on a course you tend not to run often. However I find the mental aspect of this kind of training situation to be tricky.

Going into a race when your not really putting your head down, focusing and giving your very best is not easy for me. I have such a desire to see how I can improve and I like the challenge of a race environment so lining up and deciding it's going to be a slow one doesn't work for me. Instead I need to line up and let the day unfold. No pre-conceived plan or outcome. I am such a mental case that if I tell myself I am tired and it's going to be painful low and behold it is!

When reality sets in and pain is not temporary the mental games begin. Peterson was a bit of mental game and thankfully I think I won this round. The weather was great and the scenery was perfect. Not to mention the dry trails....ahh something we haven't seen much of lately. The rumble is a running race! With my fitness there is no reason for me to walk here. I forgot how much that hurts. The lack of long climbs to stretch out the body makes my body hurt more. From the get go I was moving with a labored stride. Waiting for my body to warm up and my groove to kick in was a lost hope but I stayed with this thought train for a good 15 miles. Although I continued to hope for this moment all day I only got about 20 minutes of magic. Fortunately and not surprising given it's my standard mode of operation it came at about mile 33 where I caught Bret. That was fun!

So what do you do when your running a training race and you feel like lead? Well, there are a few choices. One, you could quit, two, you could just wallow in it begging for it end or three, see it for what it is...A TRAINING RACE! A race where things are going to be difficult and you just have get over yourself and deal with it. Accept it as part of the process and see it as a step in the right direction for one you want to really give it your best shot. It took me to about mile 15 to get over myself. At which time I was able to become one with the pain and use it as a tool. A good memory for later days.

I don't know what it is about those central Oregon trails but my feet caught everything and most of it invisible. However, let me assure you ladies out there chivalry is not dead. I fell and before I knew it I was being lifted by two men who stopped, snatched me up and wanted to be sure I was fine. I not a tumbler but I have fallen before just to be jumped over and left for dead. I swore Sean installed some sneaky system to catch every toe that passed over it because I was like a rag doll out there. Of course it could have something to do with the fact that my legs were not springing up as they should. It was a fun day, hard but really fun. I got to run a bulk of it with the Corvallis gang and they are simply chatty Kathy's out there making it look effortless.

Bill and Micheal did the 30K. They had a good time and Bill isn't really sore. I punched his quad just be sure and nothing! Now this would be no big deal except Bill didn't really run. He did a few 5 mile runs, one 8 miler and one 17 miler on accident. Cheri rocked the course PRing but something awesome! Good time, good people...thanks Sean!

One small moment.

Have you ever woken up one day, looked in the mirror and time stands still? You know the feeling, a deja vu, an expression or a moment when everything seems so clear and pure. Today I woke up at my usual time did my usual routine but I had one of the moments. While putting lotion on my leg I noticed my skin wrinkle around my ankles as I rubbed it in. I paused. It was a moment. I rubbed it in some more then sat down. I am young at heart but I am getting older. While sitting there looking at my legs, tan from Hawaii it's as if my skin was talking back at me. It wasn't complaining or making some awful face but rather enlightening me. This is not a post about skin care however I would suggest you where sunscreen. :) Rather it's simply a thought stream. Where did time go? Have I missed anything? I am now 43, have been married for 16 years and my son is already nearing 14. My skin is wrinkling, my hair is over 50% grey but yet I feel like I just got started. I have so many things I want to do yet there have been so many I have already done. How did I not notice the wrinkles on my ankles? The journey is so enriching, frustrating, exhilarating but ultimately it's everything we choose it to be.

I wondered if my entrance in to the world of endurance running has forced me to look at life differently. If all those hours inside my own mind with my own thoughts and the feeling of my own body gave me an opportunity to really understand me. What makes me happy, sad, frustrated, angry but most of all what makes me feel alive. So much that I forget that I am aging! Is there a level of rapid maturity that happens when you have so much time to ponder thoughts? The sharing and understanding you gain from the long trail time with friends. The ones that know you like a book because they spend countless hours watching you go through physical and mental highs and lows. The relaxed feeling of just being you, good and bad is incredibly comforting and satisfying. Can you really be this lucky? Do all those moments add up to a mature individual? For me, I would have to say yes.

There is such a simplicity to life but the complexities of getting it right can be daunting. Today I sat there long enough for Bill to notice the tear in my eye and wandered what on earth could be so troubling. The emotion erupted because of everything but none of it at all troubling. It was a tear of acceptance. A tear of happiness for the opportunity to have so many adventures in such a short period of time. Thankful for it all, good and bad. A tear of true happiness. The wrinkles in my ankle at that moment represented so much. More than I can describe here. They say time flys and whoever said that knew what they were talking about. From my youth of horror, to my crazy 20's where career meant everything, to my 30's when creating family and understanding how to do it all was exhausting, to my 40's where it begins to really gel. I am happy with it all. I wouldn't trade any of my 43 years of experiences because for good or bad it has made this moment perfect. For that moment I got to see it all as clear as day. The feeling on contentment I had at that moment will last. I think it's starting to set in. I wish for everyone to have one of these moments when they look at themselves, their lives and all that surrounds them and feels strong and content. I got a lot out those wrinkles.