I have decided I am a victim of my own passion. I am get so excited about doing things and there are so many things I want to. How to choose? I am finding my motivation level right now is very high. We have had some of the best Fall weather complete with sun! I am pretty sure this helps my motivation level. I want to ride my single speed MTB, I want to run fast, I want to run long, I want to get in the weight room more and I want to organize. Way to many things to be effective. You know the saying, "Jack of all trades master of none" meh! I would much rather do well at something, get better or achieve a goal then spread myself thin and not really gain any ground anywhere. Seems my issue is just that. Getting focused. Without the monitor of a coach or someone to answer to I can easily become relatively lazy. Or, worse I overdo and end up frustrated, sick or too tired. I can be just like a puppy when it comes to physical activity. Bill and Alex once whistled at me like they do Ultra. NOT OKAY, sad thing is I responded pretty much like she does.
After Javelina I had a pretty solid 2 weeks of doing very little but resting and having fun. It's been a pretty interesting time in the Sundermeier house the last few months. There are lots of blooming changes. Our lives are ever changing as with all maturing families. Our only son is starting to drive and looking at colleges. Bill spent 2 solid months at Harvard getting his Executive MBA and the construction of our Bend home began. I love changes and this family is not ever idle long but I am finding that our biggest, most important piece of our everyday life is coming to a close. That is our daily routine of parenting. Though I know it never ends I can see, feel and sense Alex's maturity into a young man. As I type those words tears stream down my face. I know it's inevitable and wonderful that our children grow up and start to plan their lives but I am telling you it's a double edged sword. I know it seems early but as you know I am a relentless planner. I see my life in advance. I wouldn't at all characterize myself as a over protective looming mom but am having to fight the desire to cling right now. Alex is sort of my emotional mirror. The thought of not having his energy around every single day makes me feel a bit lost and I know that day is coming. I feel it now as he is more independent. I think all moms must have this empty hole when their kids grow up. Though I strive to be different I think I might lose this battle. I am pretty sure I am going to have some hard days in the next couple of years. I am hoping that by the time he leaves for college I will have worked through it all. The other wonderful side of the coin is Bill and I are seeing, feeling and planning what WE will do next. The second half of our lives is beginning. Bill and I talk constantly about our future. It's wonderful to dream with confidence. To feel so incredibly secure with someone you love. I wish for everyone to feel this. It's funny how our lives have unfolded. I thought I would share a funny conversation we had. I love routine, plans, time line and expectations as does Bill. For me though, that outside force is coming to a close. My boss, my daily planner is releasing me. That would be Alex. When I left my corporate job 9 years ago he became my to do list. He drove my days, most of nights and my weekends were planned around him. That was my routine, my purpose, my measurement. My love for personal results were filled with running but mostly I felt accomplished because I could do this time consuming hobby and still be a good mom, there, present and very much alive. I could bring this glow back into the family unit. This was and is very fulfilling to me. Now with changes coming and much faster than I can describe I am beginning to crave more structure. I didn't realize it was leaving me or even that I had it until Bill and I had this conversation: Me, "Honey, I am really wanting us to sit down and go over our 5 year plan again, I want to dive down into detail, I want to know what our day might look like and discuss what it feels like". Blank stare from Bill, then, "I already have so much daily structure I am not sure it can get any more structured". At that moment I realized or understood what was happening. I was losing my daily structure slowing and am not sure what to do with myself!
So, what have I been doing besides feeling sorry for myself? I am now 3 weeks into training for Ulmstead 100M. Since I am riding the Old Pueblo 24Hr MTB in Feb. I have been back on my bike, love that thing! After 6 years of being coached by some of the best in ultra running I have written my own schedule. Best of all I am following it! Yes, it's only been 3 weeks but I should be mature enough at this point to stick to my plan, right? I need to follow it, find that rhythm of a daily routine. I have committed to 10 weeks, 2 times per week of Bikram yoga. I did it before years ago while training for WS100M purely for the heat training aspect. Now, with a much tighter body I am doing it for other reasons. My mid back and shoulders make my hips and hamstrings look flexible, wow tight. I am a total abomination to yoga! No joke. I am glad they haven't kicked me out for purely the horrible aesthetics. I am so smooshed up from running, MTBing and weight training that anything that involves lengthening is foreign to my body. With 6 classes in my body I am just now starting to crave it. My body is responding really well and if I can find a place in my spirit for this kind of training I think it will be a huge benefit to my running.
I have added a day of functional leg workouts. I need to get back to doing lower body weights. I like the strength and stability it gives me. Plus, I just need to do it! For...pure vanity. That has been really fun and interesting. Plus, it's a good thing I can laugh at myself. I may have found my Kryptonite.
My schedule for Umstead is going to be pretty intense compared to how I have trained the last couple of years. I think I am choosing to do this because it's going to keep me focused on forward momentum and mentally busy. I can't miss a beat with this one and right now I think that's the best place for me to be. I need the intensity of a hard routine. I am craving that kind of push right now. I really want to have a solid run at Ulmstead 100M. I might even try and RACE it. It's been awhile since I have pushed myself hard at a 100M race. Where I have set a time goal and trained to achieve it. I think 20 HRs at Ulmstead would be a pretty big challenge for me so that's what I am chasing. To do this I am going to need to run more than and average of 35-40 miles a week which is what I have done in the past 2 years. That simply is not going to cut it for a quick time. My body adapts nicely to whatever I throw it's way but I not even going to try to fool myself this time. :)