Thursday, September 2, 2010

Like home made apple pie or monster trucks!

You know the feeling you get when at a moment everything feels super right? Like when you drive through the country and all the houses are perfectly manicured, swings sit on the porch and an old couple is holding hands as they watch the cars stroll by. Or maybe when you go into an old diner and you see the lady that seems to have worked there for 100 years is still wearing a full apron? I remember running Vermont 100M and my whole day was like a step back in time. It a super peaceful feeling. From the start of the race to then end. As we made our way through a countryside where at any moment George Washington complete with a wig could pop out of the woods and say hello, it was peaceful. For me small towns where people still wear cowboy hats, men still hunt and woman can things they grew in the garden is comfortable. I loved going to my grandmothers house as an adult. Since I spent most of my youth there taking in all I just described going back was settling. As a youth I couldn't wait to escape it, find my way, be different and vowed to not be so narrow. Not narrow in a bad sort of way because it certainly wasn't that. Though my roots are from a really small town and none of my family made it past high school they were pushing the limits constantly. Some of those limits should not have been pushed and re-direction would have been a good idea none the less they were solid in who they were. In this small town where seriously everyone knew everyone and everyone knew more about you than you wished there was no way to hide a damn thing. I pushed all my limits in this tiny town and has plenty of accomplices but we didn't get away with anything. Though I couldn't wait to get he hell out of dodge I can keenly sense when I feel at home.

At the Lululemon Ambassador Summit we spent 3 full days discovery how to push ourselves to dream the next dream. Where to go when it seems impossible. How to be authentic! How false humility doesn't serve anyone. How to project a positive Ego. I was exhausted taking in every detail. We went through an intense goal setting session. An area I thought I had down pat. I set goals. I am achiever so this will be cake. So I thought. I did find I am a great visionary. I could describe my 10 year vision with amazing detail down to the feel of the couch. What I didn't do well was my 1-3 vision. The immense blur that took over my brain was interesting. Give me a month to a year and I can do it but that in between area was a total loss for me. Bill and I talk about our future all the time. Me make plans and we get detailed. We can see ourselves in the future, where we want to live, how we want to live and basically what we'll eat. But, we are so busy dealing with day to day life we rarely think about 1-3 years from now. That made me think about my grandmother's house. Why? Because I want Alex to have that same feeling when he is an adult. I want him to WANT to come visit. To bring his wife and kids over to our house. I want him to feel a sense of belonging and authenticity from me and Bill. So far, I think we have done a good job of that but now it's time to really step it up. As Alex grows and change I want him to think of Bill and I as real. I mean the kind of people that don't just say stuff that sounds good. Since my 10 year vision includes Alex and his future family I better make sure the next 3 years I do the work to make it happen. One thing my crazy family did for right or wrong was show everyone who they were. Therefore I am not fake. Never have been good at being something or someone other than me. My friends say I have no poker face and they're right. For years I found this to be a weakness. If only I could slap that sticky smile on my face things would be so much easier. Though my lips are bent my eyes say it all. I have my up bringing to thank for this and I am learning this is so more of a gift than a curse. Being authentic and true is powerful. I am not in any way saying if I hate the color of your hair I need to say it. Or, if you ask me do I like the color of your hair I need to say it sucks. It just means I don't need to say, "I love it" and smile. Being authentic does not mean all the noise in my head that normally plays at every turn (you know what I mean) needs to come spewing out my mouth. What it does mean is I don't need to apologize for what I choose to do or how I choose to live. In my small town hardly anyone did that. They couldn't. I find in our world today where media is king and Sunday breakfast at the diner doesn't exist much the opportunity to be authentic is lost. The opportunity to touch people's life for real can be missed. The depth of our relationships can be a bit shallow. Lot's of time people are apologizing for their success so others feel better and are seemingly more acceptable to be around.

Going to my 25th class reunion was like taking a step back in time. Ironically it was 2 days after I got home from the Ambassador Summit so my mind was spinning. What I found was just what I left 25 years ago. A group of kids who are now full grown adults who are just like they were. Not that they haven't changed and grown but they are authentic. The group of kids who were dear and near to my youth are still just the same but older. I loved it. I was lucky to have such a life as a youth. However, if you would have asked me that at 16 I would have told you to pound sand...this sucks. Times were hard for my family and they had issues but they taught me to be real and that nothing is wrong with us. My friends were real. The best part is I haven't changed. My family is real and my friends are too. I now find comfort in knowing I have created an environment where being an authentic person is comforting. The peacefulness I found at my grandmother's house might not be coming from where I originally thought. Maybe it's a place where you can be you. Take it leave it. That is what I to give Alex.


  1. Olga! I accidentally deleted all the comments for the last 3 months! I hit some button and poof they all went away. I couldn't recover them. Techno loser. :)