Relentless Forward Motion...Training, racing & living like an ultra runner!

I am a victim!

2011-12-12T18:43:00.000-08:00

I have decided I am a victim of my own passion. I am get so excited about doing things and there are so many things I want to. How to choose? I am finding my motivation level right now is very high. We have had some of the best Fall weather complete with sun! I am pretty sure this helps my motivation level. I want to ride my single speed MTB, I want to run fast, I want to run long, I want to get in the weight room more and I want to organize. Way to many things to be effective. You know the saying, "Jack of all trades master of none" meh! I would much rather do well at something, get better or achieve a goal then spread myself thin and not really gain any ground anywhere. Seems my issue is just that. Getting focused. Without the monitor of a coach or someone to answer to I can easily become relatively lazy. Or, worse I overdo and end up frustrated, sick or too tired. I can be just like a puppy when it comes to physical activity. Bill and Alex once whistled at me like they do Ultra. NOT OKAY, sad thing is I responded pretty much like she does.

After Javelina I had a pretty solid 2 weeks of doing very little but resting and having fun. It's been a pretty interesting time in the Sundermeier house the last few months. There are lots of blooming changes. Our lives are ever changing as with all maturing families. Our only son is starting to drive and looking at colleges. Bill spent 2 solid months at Harvard getting his Executive MBA and the construction of our Bend home began. I love changes and this family is not ever idle long but I am finding that our biggest, most important piece of our everyday life is coming to a close. That is our daily routine of parenting. Though I know it never ends I can see, feel and sense Alex's maturity into a young man. As I type those words tears stream down my face. I know it's inevitable and wonderful that our children grow up and start to plan their lives but I am telling you it's a double edged sword. I know it seems early but as you know I am a relentless planner. I see my life in advance. I wouldn't at all characterize myself as a over protective looming mom but am having to fight the desire to cling right now. Alex is sort of my emotional mirror. The thought of not having his energy around every single day makes me feel a bit lost and I know that day is coming. I feel it now as he is more independent. I think all moms must have this empty hole when their kids grow up. Though I strive to be different I think I might lose this battle. I am pretty sure I am going to have some hard days in the next couple of years. I am hoping that by the time he leaves for college I will have worked through it all. The other wonderful side of the coin is Bill and I are seeing, feeling and planning what WE will do next. The second half of our lives is beginning. Bill and I talk constantly about our future. It's wonderful to dream with confidence. To feel so incredibly secure with someone you love. I wish for everyone to feel this. It's funny how our lives have unfolded. I thought I would share a funny conversation we had. I love routine, plans, time line and expectations as does Bill. For me though, that outside force is coming to a close. My boss, my daily planner is releasing me. That would be Alex. When I left my corporate job 9 years ago he became my to do list. He drove my days, most of nights and my weekends were planned around him. That was my routine, my purpose, my measurement. My love for personal results were filled with running but mostly I felt accomplished because I could do this time consuming hobby and still be a good mom, there, present and very much alive. I could bring this glow back into the family unit. This was and is very fulfilling to me. Now with changes coming and much faster than I can describe I am beginning to crave more structure. I didn't realize it was leaving me or even that I had it until Bill and I had this conversation: Me, "Honey, I am really wanting us to sit down and go over our 5 year plan again, I want to dive down into detail, I want to know what our day might look like and discuss what it feels like". Blank stare from Bill, then, "I already have so much daily structure I am not sure it can get any more structured". At that moment I realized or understood what was happening. I was losing my daily structure slowing and am not sure what to do with myself!

What better to do than plan your year, to get focused and try not to ruminate in change I am not really ready for. So, that's what I started doing and it was hard. I don't have any big outlandish, do you really think you can do that kind of goals for 2012. Just when I might need one the most! Something to occupy my busy mind. Something to obsess over, to fill the small hole that is beginning to develop. My only boy is maturing and not needing me so much. As I began to get the calendar out and fill in events it was overwhelming. My love for mountain biking and desire to experience more racing along with my ultimate desire for trail running could fill the calender every weekend. There are so many choices! For now, Leadwoman is off the radar. Our house in Bend will almost be done in July so the focus needs to be closer to home. Bill is in the lottery for the Leadville 100MTB and if by chance he gets in he will definitely be doing it. Otherwise, we most likely won't be heading to CO this year. Though I am sad because I LOVE Colorado I also love Oregon and Utah too.

So, what have I been doing besides feeling sorry for myself? I am now 3 weeks into training for Ulmstead 100M. Since I am riding the Old Pueblo 24Hr MTB in Feb. I have been back on my bike, love that thing! After 6 years of being coached by some of the best in ultra running I have written my own schedule. Best of all I am following it! Yes, it's only been 3 weeks but I should be mature enough at this point to stick to my plan, right? I need to follow it, find that rhythm of a daily routine. I have committed to 10 weeks, 2 times per week of Bikram yoga. I did it before years ago while training for WS100M purely for the heat training aspect. Now, with a much tighter body I am doing it for other reasons. My mid back and shoulders make my hips and hamstrings look flexible, wow tight. I am a total abomination to yoga! No joke. I am glad they haven't kicked me out for purely the horrible aesthetics. I am so smooshed up from running, MTBing and weight training that anything that involves lengthening is foreign to my body. With 6 classes in my body I am just now starting to crave it. My body is responding really well and if I can find a place in my spirit for this kind of training I think it will be a huge benefit to my running.

I have added a day of functional leg workouts. I need to get back to doing lower body weights. I like the strength and stability it gives me. Plus, I just need to do it! For...pure vanity. That has been really fun and interesting. Plus, it's a good thing I can laugh at myself. I may have found my Kryptonite.

My schedule for Umstead is going to be pretty intense compared to how I have trained the last couple of years. I think I am choosing to do this because it's going to keep me focused on forward momentum and mentally busy. I can't miss a beat with this one and right now I think that's the best place for me to be. I need the intensity of a hard routine. I am craving that kind of push right now. I really want to have a solid run at Ulmstead 100M. I might even try and RACE it. It's been awhile since I have pushed myself hard at a 100M race. Where I have set a time goal and trained to achieve it. I think 20 HRs at Ulmstead would be a pretty big challenge for me so that's what I am chasing. To do this I am going to need to run more than and average of 35-40 miles a week which is what I have done in the past 2 years. That simply is not going to cut it for a quick time. My body adapts nicely to whatever I throw it's way but I not even going to try to fool myself this time. :)

Javelina 100M

2011-11-15T10:13:00.001-08:00

A strong contingent of Oregon and Washington folks brought it at Javelina. They brought their best and they also brought the rain. How can it be that the last two events I have done in AZ have had serious rain? It's not supposed to rain in AZ. Not that the weather was horrible for a PNW runner but when it rains in AZ it's more like a bucket of water is being dumped on your head. Not the misty constant drizzle. Actually the day started out perfect with a nice cloud cover and temperatures were around 60. When the sun did peak through it felt really hot.

I had a really strange race. I am not going to be able to express it very well here but am going to try to paint the picture. I can't complain about running 21:17 and coming in 4th woman, I am happy with that. My pre-race prep was horrible. I did everything wrong except for get drunk and be hungover. Thursday was a tedious decision making day for our home we are building in Bend (yay!) I went into the process with no food, not much water and when I was done I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I then rushed home to get everything ready for the house sitter and the race. I might have eaten 1200 calories that day and drank about 40 oz of water, not good. Friday was another quick paced day with travel and such. In an attempt to eat really clean and healthy I ate nothing to speak of. I also drank very little water. I might have gotten in 1300 calories that day and about 50 oz of water. Already behind in sleep we got up a 3:30 a.m. Saturday. I tried to eat and drink knowing I was behind the curve but it's a little late!

The race started and I feverishly fueled. I felt dehydrated at about 10 miles and worked at keeping up on fluids and food. I did a really good job. Lap 1 and 2 went pretty well. Lap 3 just sucked. I was feeling tired, yawning, unmotivated and had a mild headache. For no particular reason. That lap was filled with self doubt and much loathing. Yuk, I hate that which made it all worse. I can't tolerate much personal loathing from myself. It just makes me feel angry and pathetic. Knowing full well that all we do is voluntary I don't like to complain or whine. I think intense negative thoughts are a sign of weakness. For me it's icky emotional indulgence. Not that I walk around like Susie Sunshine all the time I do expect more from myself. This battled ensued between thoughts of worthlessness and acceptance. I gave it the all girl effort too! I tried to cry, nope couldn't do it...I was too pissed off. I tried to convince myself that quitting would be best because we wouldn't miss our flight, stupid reasoning. I even tried to see if I could discover a possible injury! Then I would most certainly need to stop. My brain was ruminating in the negative. I came in to lap 3 and told Micheal I was just off, tired and not in it. He was really good. He just listened and said your doing fine just keep going and fuel. Before I knew it I was back out there on lap 4.

The 3 hours of ruminating, being negative and pathetic did me in...in a good way. I was done with myself! Mumford and Sons song, Thistle and Weeds came on my IPOD.
The chorus:
But plant your hope with good seeds
Don't cover yourself with thistle and weeds

These lines resonated, for whatever reason, and helped me get a grip. The wonderful thing about Javelina 100M is the course and it's washing machine loop format. You get the opportunity to see everyone and be part of their day. I was surrounded by some really amazing people doing some really amazing things. That alone is beautiful and rewarding. I love positive energy, passion puppets and people who dream big. Here I was with all of that. So with that realization I was able to draw inspiration and joy from them. A few things that caught my attention. Esther Holman's run and relentless pursuit of her 100M finish. Andy Kumeda's strong amazing day. The Beast, nothing more needs to be said there. Anna, smiling and always positive demeanor. Liza's run was of course amazing but what I saw most impressive was her lovely effortless smile as she passed by...a true athlete! The volunteers were so cheerful and had compliments galore. Every time I came around to headquarters I felt like a winner! Focusing on all the other people and things was so much better than paying any attention to my own run or myself!

I continued trying to get caught up on fuel but we all know you can never truly catch up. I did a good job. It's always an interesting study. One of the draws of the 100M event is the opportunity to see yourself, your demons, your strengths, your grit and whatever else you have or most importantly DON'T have. You simply can't escape it every time. This year's race was much different than last years for me. This year I had no fight, no desire to push. I was tired! Not physically but mentally. I couldn't muster up a good fight if I was forced. I was content with the day as it was unfolding. Though I wondered how I would feel about this attitude later it seemed I had no choice. My mind, body and soul were too tired to roust my drive.

When Micheal picked me up for lap 5 I welcomed the company. The rain came in while I was about half way through lap 6 and I was immediately cold. I was bundled up pretty good for someone who runs in the rain a lot. The trail became a mess quickly. Big puddles and lots of sinking sand or slippery mud. We almost bit it a couple of times. This just solidified that I was not up to par. The fatigue built and now I was in "get it done" mode. I walked a lot! Most of my final lap was a full on hike/walk. What's the difference? A hike has purpose and a walk is what you do with your dog and a cup of coffee. My stomach was crampy and not doing so well. I was starving but another gel was just not gonna do it. Neither was another banana, salted potato, cup of soup, blah. When I finished it was pouring and all I could think about was getting the wet clothes off before I turned into a Popsicle, then food. I went over an scarfed down 2 pieces of pizza and was still hungry. We hustled off so we could get a shower, a tiny nap and catch our 11 a.m. flight home.

I have been so tired these last two days. More tired than I can remember being after one of these. My body on the other hand seems to be barely phased. I didn't even need compression socks on Sunday and have very little soreness and no swelling. I think I am exhausted though. Time for some rest to re-energize! It's been a hell of a year!

Lucky number 7!

2011-11-08T09:47:00.000-08:00

I glanced at the Javelina 100M bid number so I could write it on my drop bags and was so excited I almost peed my pants! I got number 7! That is Bill and I's lucky number. We were engaged on the 7th, got married on the 7th at 7 p.m. and have 7 small diamonds in our wedding ring. We love the number 7! I had to talk sense in to Bill when Alex was born because he wanted to name him Seven! Anyway, we didn't request numbers so I just thought it was really cool! I never get a low number because either the races are seeded or by last name. So, I am kinda excited to wear this 7, can you tell? Since my training has been all over the map I am looking for all and any bits of excitement to counter the "What were you thinking talk track".

I booked my flight out of Arizona for Sunday at 11 a.m. How's that for pressure? I am either being cocky or efficient. Worst case, I will have to take another flight. This may be the fastest trip ever. Leave Friday, run 100M on Saturday and be back home to Oregon by dinner.

My plan for the race is...well I have no plan. I hope I don't get too hot, I hope my body holds up and I hope the hurt locker is padded. There is a lot of HOPE in that sentence. With such low mileage I have no idea what to expect so a good conservative approach will be best I think. Last year I ran a hell of race there. For me to run that fast at 100 miles was crazy and I felt great the whole race. I should have given my laps 4 and 5 more effort. Last year I had way more running and pounding on my legs though. I don't even think I looked at the hurt locker door for long. Maybe it was the Advil I took?

My lap splits last year were: Total time 20:07
2:36
2:50
3:07
2:51
3:18
3:19
2:02

Pretty even with the laps 5 and 6 being in the dark. I hope I can get under 22 hours. I really like the format of this event and am excited to share the trail with friends. The weather looks tolerable for this Oregonian. :)

I think I have over tapered.

2011-10-31T13:23:00.000-07:00

Javelina 100M is in two weeks so I guess my taper starts. If low mileage is the new way to train I think I have that covered. I am going to line up to Javelina with my longest week being 62 miles and no back to backs to speak of. However, I have done quite a bit of speed work. With the every other Wednesday night trail series and a couple of longer races I can take stock in that I have pushed myself. For the trail series I went for the kill (to kill myself)! I ran as absolutely hard as I could from start to finish. A couple of times I almost puked! I ran some very fast trail miles. Not very impressive to most people but I was patting myself on the back every other week. As some of us stood at the finish coughing up lung particles wondering if we were catching a cold we were reminded of our lack of speed work. Todd tried his hardest to make each race pretty brutal with his hilly terrain choices. The dark nights just made it more interesting and I am still asking myself how the hell those people run that fast in the dark. I think they have Jedi like reflexes. I got to meet some cool people too. That was a seriously fun time and I can't wait for the next set of races.

I also signed up for the first every Forest Park Trail Marathon. In another attempt to force myself to run fast but now on a long run. I ended up being first girl across the finish line in this very small event. I didn't even know I had won until about 40 seconds after I finished. While heading to the finish line the crowd seemed very energetic and I thought, "wow, these guys are really into cheering folks on". I knew the 1/2 marathon had just finished and was very uplifted by the crowds attention. Just past the finish line Bill comes up and says, "You have no idea you just won do you"? SO COOL! My prize was a gift certificate to Fit Right NW. New trail shoes in my future!

For my final long training run I did Autumn Leaves 50K last Saturday. The terrain is flat, five 10K loops so no time for dilly dallying around. It was just what I needed to get my butt out there. Time with friends and like minded folks spurred me to get out and push myself. It was a perfect day too! No rain, early morning fog and sun made it pretty easy to keep going. I ran hard but what I really wanted to do was gain speed with every 10K. Just to test myself. I was able to accomplish this but on laps 2-3 it was very close. I did however manage to squeak in 2 minutes faster on lap 5 than lap 4. My feet were a bit sore. I haven't had sore feet in years but I also haven't run on pavement for that many miles is years. I had to dig out some road shoes that have about 15 miles of running on them and hope they held up. They did. I was not at all sore on Sunday which totally blew me away. Must be my new diet....kidding!

Even thought my miles really don't warrant good training for a 100M race I have been out on my Single Speed MTB a few times. After riding up and down my road a bit I got the courage to take it out in public. I absolutely LOVE it! It's incredibly different than riding a geared bike. I can't really explain it. You have to just ride it and within 2 miles you'll get it. It's hard but so much fun. I really love riding uphill on it. I actually ride my routes faster on my SS than my geared bike. This is just a function of how you have power a SS versus a geared bike. One thing is certain, I am more tired and have lingering fatigue from the sessions. I am going to line up to TOE 50M MTB this year on a single speed! I have now put it out there. With 7,800 of climbing it will tell me if I should even THINK about trying Leadville 100M on a single speed....before I die.

Speaking of Leadville! Registration opens tomorrow! I don't know what I want to do. I want to do the Silver Queen event. Ride the 50M MTB on Sat. then run the 50M run on Sun. What I don't know is, do I want to do Leadwoman again. If I lived closer it would be a no brainer I would be in for sure. I takes a commitment of time from everyone so I can't decided. I have the 2nd fastest Leadwoman time and I am certain I can shave another hour now that I know more. We'll see. I know Bill is putting in for the 100M MTB lottery! I hope he gets in because I know he will have an epic day. You just can't help it!

What post race blues?

2011-10-09T15:15:00.000-07:00

Leadman events didn't leave me tired. Instead they energized me. I hate the post race blues. That feeling I often get once a big goal has been accomplished and I am left with a ho hum mood. Seems so counter productive but it's there nonetheless. Recovery from the summers adventure went really well. I am pretty sure the addition of mountain biking has paid serious dividends. My body is much stronger and my power generation is better. I can climb better, I can accelerate better and I most certainly recover faster. The drawback, I am slower.

My lack of natural speed has been laid out countless times in this blog. Any and all speed I have is earned the old fashioned way, hard work. I have to dial it in my training schedule week after week, monitor it, push myself and keep track. This year I had very little speed work, if any, in my schedule. I think there is only so much you can cram into a week. My body did it's fair share of adapting to mountain biking and adding speed sessions might have thrown me over the edge. The adaptions I am referring to include my back, my glutes, my shoulders and my hamstrings. All of the above were quite developed to run, do speed work, go long, climb and run technical trails, etc without injury. In fact, I have not been laid up with an injury since before The Grand Teton's 100M in 08 (I am currently knocking on wood and banging my body on it for good measure). This year, at times, I felt as if I was riding a fine line. My mid back has been so tight at times I swear my waist would shrink a whole inch. My medial glutes were always fired. Trying to get my legs to swing was challenging and just when I got it worked out, bam! another hard MTB ride. My shoulders and mostly my traps did not like the forward lean. Learning to drop them and relax is still hard. As for the hamstrings, well, let's just say I didn't have any. I have some now! I must have spent hours upon hours on a foam roller. The pull portion of the pedal stroke forces those babies to work.

At times throughout the year I felt so slow and sluggish. Mostly after a measurable event when my time and effort were not what I remembered. I had this constant battle of desires. Not wanting to lose my speed but needing to make serious gains in another area raged a war in my head. I have pretty much mastered my emotional/logical action center. I am driven by both emotion and logic. I blame this on my up bringing. Raised by 2 woman who couldn't have been more opposite in how they marched through their lives. My mom, the original bra burner of the 70's, free of almost all logical thinking, extremely loving and always emotional. She defined the free to be attitude, the who cares what others think, be your own woman kind of stuff. My grandmother, who couldn't have been more realistic, the penmanship scholar, the accountant, the stoic woman. She would always presented herself appropriately, never talk about issues and march on with the up most respect for herself and family...no matter what. I am pretty certain, after years of debate, that I carry both these fine woman's ideas. The issue......conflict.....the gift....conflict.

So choosing the more logical/practical notion that something has to give. So get on with it. I guess I would have a good Fall project, speed work. When I got home I had nothing on the books with regards to workouts. I immediately found myself becoming a race registration slore (bad word I know). My friends were sick of me emailing them trying to coheres them into to joining me. I even signed Bill up for a 1/2 while he was out of town. Anything I could do that was short and would force me to run fast, due to pride, I was all in. I got into Todd's Portland Trail Series, I ran the Wildwood 10K and signed up for the Forest Park Marathon. To enhance my drive to run faster I threw my name in for Javelina 100M in November and thanks to Susan's fast fingers got into Umstead 100M in March. Both these 100's are flat courses so I will need to find my legs. In between the 100's I am going to ride the Old Pueblo 24Hr Solo again. I got a single speed MTB and am anxious to ride it in a race. I'm not sure if I will ride OP on my single speed or go geared. The guy riding single speed at Leadville made it look so easy! It's not!

After the first couple of Portland Trail Series events I found I wasn't as slow as I thought. It also reminded me that I am a mental basket case. I can decide I am slow and be slow. Then I can be put into an environment where I should run fast and I can. Of course, this is all relative. I am pretty excited to incorporate speed sessions back in my training.

Speaking of training. This will be the first time I have not had a coach in 7 years! I think I am going to do my own schedule. The issue, I am not so good at holding myself accountable. I am sure I can blame that on my childhood too, ha, ha, ha. I am going to give it a go and see if I can create some alter ego to hold me accountable.

I am a Leadwoman! The Run

2011-09-26T12:41:00.000-07:00

After 6 days of rest it was time to finish the Leadman raceseries. I spent the week focusing onrecovery and planning the 100M footrace which left little time to think aboutthe prior weekends adventure. That isexactly what I wanted. I planned tospend the whole run reliving the bike race experience piece by piece. Since much of the course is shared I wonderedhow I would feel covering it by foot. I also was curious how this Leadville100M run would go compared to my run there in 2007 as part of my Grand Slam. Iwanted to get the big buckles in all the races Western States 100, Vermont 100,Leadville 100 and Wasatch 100. Of allthe events Leadville was by far the one I was most worried about. The sub 25 time was going to be a stretch forme. Leadville is a runners course and Iwas more of a mountain hiker/runner. That year Ispent the whole day chasing the clock. It's no lie, I was running in complete stress the entire day. My time was 24:14 and it was a tough goall day. I wondered if the additionalyears of experience would help me now.

I was nervous. Theunknown factor of how my body would hold up made me cautious. My pace chart was conservative, my mindsetwas set to take it easy and my crew was ready and armed with all sorts oftricks to deal with leg pain. After the50M run where I experience very early quad fatigue due to the LMTB 100 trainingcamp weekend I felt uneasy and a bit timid. That race taught me a lot and I planned on using all I learned. I had hoped that the following weekends of hard workhelped my body adapt to what it needed to do on this day. These last days of recovery had been good and I felt amazing. I even wrote Matt to tell him about my final short training run becauseI felt so good.I hoped I didn't jinx myself by expressing that.

The Race: It was a bit of restless night due tointense rain and the occasional lighting bolt that seemed to rock the wholebuilding. It was a creepy déjà vu from 2007 when inches of heavy rain came downthe whole day before I had to run Leadville. A rainy cold day in the mountains is awful. It's so hard to stay warm. I got up twice and each time added another layerof clothing to my already bulging pile. In the morning one of the first thingsI did was go outside to see how wet and cold it was. I was delighted to find no rain coming downand the air quite warm. That just meantthere were clouds but it wasn't freezing yet. I just assumed it would be a typical mountain day where weather would rollin during the afternoon. As of thispoint, lining up to the start I felt calm. A completely opposite experience from just 6 days ago at the LMTB 100Mstart. I had finally arrived in myelement. A comfort level Irelished. 750 people lined up to havetheir day in the mountains and it was time to get this party started.

I think I was near the front of the pack as we headed to theboulevard. I had no agenda at thestart. I wanted to find a nicecomfortable groove and be easy. With the 4am start a sea of lights made their way to the dirt. My prior run at Leadville seemed much more dusty. Today the ground was wet from the storms sothe dust around the lake was barely noticeable. The air was damp which made it a bit cold as you began to sweat. I was cruising around the lake at acomfortable speed. I just settled into atrain and the pace was fitting. No onecame passing and we didn't pass. I couldhear everyone's labored breathing. Thealtitude is such a huge element here. For me, I didn't notice it. Norshould I since I had been there 8 weeks. I wasn't at all concerned about the elevation but I was concerned aboutmy body and I paid close attention to any and all cues. By mile 13 where I saw Bill, Micheal and Alexfor the first time I was ahead of schedule and very calm. I grabbed my pack and made my way toHaggerman Pass. This would be the firstshared section with the bike race and the sun was now up. I had an immediate rush of emotions. Just 1 week ago I was here on my bike and nowI was on foot. My senses were oncomplete overload and my skin got chills. Detailed memories filled my thoughts as I trotted up the road. Making the turn on to Sugarloaf for the 3mile climb I found myself so lost in thought I was running. I checked in, should I be walking, how am Ifeeling physically and tried to bring myself back to the present. I felt really good and at ease. This was an interesting way to experiencethis and not all like my 07 race. Here Iwas probably the most fit I have ever been, very experienced at running 100's,knew the course like the back of my hand and have run it before in 24:14. I should be set up to race this, to give it my best shot and post my besttime. But, I wasn't here for that. Instead I got to witness and take in all aroundme. Folks working to get their best day. Trying to make the climb fast and hard to chase the clock. I felt their desire. I have been there and love that kind of personal challenge. Today I was much more in touch with what was happening around me than. I also felt inspired and a senseof camaraderie as each of us chased today's goal. Arriving at the summit it was time to rundown Powerline. It was fun. I was wearing a huge smile as I made my way downthinking about how I had maneuvered this last weekend. I used some of the descending skills Ilearned on my bike. I thinkit made me a better downhill runner. Picking a better line and looking much farther ahead instead of rockdodging. I took it pretty darn easy downPowerline. I had no intention ofthrashing my quads this early. Plus, I knew I hadn't prepared them in trainingfor the kind of long term pounding I knew they would need to endure. Normally I would have them good and strongfor all the descending and would not have held back at all. Today I even walked a few steps of thedownhill while I fueled. My goal was tomake it to mile 50 with a good intact body then let it rip and go for brokefrom there.

After the descent we get to run about 5 miles of road toPipeline, or Halfpipe, or Halfmoon.....whichever you want to call mile 23. It's kind of funky getting the legs to spin onthe pavement. I didn't really have a lotof spring in my running stride but tried to keep it under a 10 min pace. The footrace leaves Pipeline and takes adifferent road than the bike race. Myreminiscing time was over for awhile as from now until I arrive back here therun course is different. I left stillcomfortable and steady. I found myselfpassing people in this section. It'sabout the time when folks start to slow down a bit. I really liked this section. It was different than the course I ran in2007. The terrain is nice and easy onthe body and gives you a chance to run a bit before the grueling Hope Passascent. During this section we crossed acouple of streams and I took the opportunity to cool off my quads for goodmeasure.

I arrived at Twin Lakes on a 26 hour pace feeling good. My legs now had 40 miles on them and wereholding up fine. I was greeted by Alexwho was my sole crew at Twin Lakes. Billand Micheal were doing a drop off at Winfield in an attempt to beat the seriouscrew backup that happens there. He wasso amazing and so grown up. He was rightthere waiting for me, checked in to see how I was doing, rattled off somequestions and gave me my pack. He walkedout with me telling me how great I was doing and reminded me of what'scoming. At that moment I could havecared less about that because I was just so taken by how much he was immersedin making me comfortable and encouraged. He's so grown up and such an amazing boy. I have always said, "If I can raise Alexto be as wonderful as Bill I will be the happiest mom alive". I think we have done that. I left there emotional.

Making my way to the base of Hope Pass was a wettrudge. It's swampy and the areabefore the river crossing has pools of water you need to cross. There seemed to be way more than I remember. My feet were soaked and filled withgrit. The grind up Hope Pass is sobeautiful you have to remind yourself to work hard. It'slong and relentless but it seemed much easier than I remembered. I made okay time to the saddle but not great. They day had turned out amazing. There was no rain and barely a cloud in thesky at that moment. This made the views ontop perfect. This is a really special aidstation. All the supplies are carried upby Llamas who are now grazing in the open fields in the mountain's shadow.Leaving the Hopeless aid station there is still a 15 minute climb before thedrop off. The descent off Hope Pass onthe back side is horrible! I didn't likein 2007 and I wasn't a fan today. It'stoo steep for me to run. The rocky bouldersections need to be picked through and it goes on forever! It's only 3+ miles but it took me a long time. I was getting a little down andfrustrated. I am not sure why. I think it might have been just a lowmoment. Physically I felt fine. My body was beginning to feel it but I was almostat mile 50 so it should. The worst partof the Leadville course is the road to Winfield. It's 3 miles long and we share the route withall the crew. There is intense dust andsometimes you are literally weaving between cars to reach the aid station.

I arrived at Winfield (mile 50) after 12:51:36 of runningtime. I picked up Bill to pace me backto Twin Lakes. It was time to let it ripand go for broke. No more holding backand no more being conservative. Itseemed like sub 25 was out of reach but I had it in the back of my mind. I would need to run negative splits and sincethis course isn't any easier going back that might be crazy but maybe? We took off running really well down theWinfield road weaving in and out of traffic. As we made the turn onto the trail back up Hope Pass I told Bill to lookup at the bald spot. I said, "Weregoing there". His response,"Crap"! I told him to settlein and let's focus. It was hard to stayin a power groove because the narrow trail has 2 way traffic. I wasn't at allfrustrated but instead simply heavy hearted. These folks coming down were chasing the cut off clock and many wereworking so hard. It was easy for me topull over and give them the right of way. As we continued a glimpse of themountain would appear and we could see tiny dots above. Bill was cracking me up! Every time he would get a view of where wewere going he would blurt out some phrase of doom and the occasional badword. It had me laughing so hard I toldhim to stop! I couldn't powerhike upthis thing if I can't breathe! We didwell but not great with time. At the topI got a bee in my butt and just took off down Hope Pass. The trail was greatrunning and the grade was perfect for just blazing downhill. I was in the "let it rip" mode sothere was no more saving my quads. I ranso hard and fast down this I dropped Bill and passed at least 12 people. I felt really good coming in to mile 60.

Back at Twin Lakes I changed my shoes. This was only the second time in all 25 100'sI have changed shoes. The water and griton the second wade fest was just not comfortable. I took the time to make the change and wewere off. I was ready to sew this thing up. Sub 25 was still a bit of astretch but I wasn't giving up yet. Micheal and I ran well with a goal of getting to the next aid stationbefore needing a light. It was tight andI pulled out my flashlight just before we arrived. I was suddenly hungry! This aid station was water only but the folksmanning it has some almonds and kindly shared some with me. I was fairly self propelled here. I didn't need much coaxing to move and I wasstill watching my Garmin. The darknesscame and this is my favorite time in a 100. There is something about being out there in the deep woods at night,just a light and trail. The next aidstation seemed to never come. We laughedat how time seems to just go and you feel as if you are standing still. All the while giving it all you've got.

I felt low on salt. Like I needed some broth. I was craving real food and my stomach wasgrowling. At the next aid station I gota strong cup of broth that had so much salt my tongue got that weird feelinglike it was swelling. I cracked up. Can I do anything in moderation? We left making our way to mile 73 where wewould see Bill. While running thissection I announced to Micheal that sub 25 was just not going to happen. There just wasn't enough time. I was okay with this. I thought I could still get sub 26. Michealinformed me that my goal was Leadwoman and not the big buckle. Eventhough I knew this I was a bit deflated. The relentless groove was gone as I pondered what seemed likereality. Bill was ready and waiting atmile 73 where I took only a small handheld to do the 5 miles of pavement toFish Hatchery.

The weather gods had shined on me once again atLeadville. Now in the wee hours of the nightI have only had a bit of rain and that was coming up the back side of Hope Passwith Bill. Other than that I have beenin a tank top and shorts all day. Theysky was filled with stars so no rain in sight. The air was comfortably cold and I was now in a short sleeve shirt. At Fish Hatchery I retrieved my pack witheverything I would need to get up and over Sugarloaf Mountain. Here I was again at the base of this falsesummit festival. I gave Micheal myrundown. Let's get up this thing withintention, run hard down then heads down on the rocky horrible ColoradoTrail. I was ready to be done, felt goodall around and had accepted the fact that my big buckle was history. My new attitude helped get me up Sugarloafpretty fast. Seems this heads down, getit done attitude served me well on all the events. Coming down the backside wasjust not fun. I had a hard time finding mygroove on the rocky terrain. I wasfrustrated because I wanted to run down fast. I am not sure why I couldn't. In what seemed like forever we finally madethe turn onto Haggerman road and it was awesome to have legs left. We booked it down the gravel road and madethe turn onto the Colorado trail section. I don't like this boulder filled 1.8 miles. It's was heads down move with serious purpose. I simply wanted off this trail before I hadeven arrived. We busted tail on this andMicheal commented on how fast we ran it.

My Garmin had died a long time ago and I didn't even knowwhat time it was. Arriving at Mayqueenwith only 13.5 miles to go I asked Bill what time it was. He gathered my stuff and as I was leaving hefound his watch as yelled, " A little after 1:15". My brain quickly did the math. I yelled at Micheal, "Crap, I have a shotat this". He looked at me a bitskeptical and reminded me how the rolling technical terrain around the lake isharder at mile 87. Still I had 3:45minutes to cover 13.5 miles. This seemsso doable but it takes me 3 hours to do this section from the start and thefirst 4 miles is downhill which means it's uphill now. I knew it would be hard but I wasn't givingup without a serious fight. I could do this and with a new found goal and abody I worked like dog. I pushed myselfhard running almost everything albeit slow at times. I am not sure Micheal thought this waspossible but he was encouraging. I keptasking, "What time is it"? Hewould respond and I would push harder. Still fueling like crazy I had my eye on thatbig buckle. I drew energy knowing it wasreachable. We finally emerged from thelake trail and with only 5 miles to go I knew this is where I could loseit. The mild uphill grade from here thefinish is just mean. It's gravel roadbut climbs steadily into the finish. Atthis point my brain couldn't do math well and I was just certain I would blowit.

Making that turn onto the pavement and seeing the finishline 8 blocks away was intense. I still kept asking, "What time isit"? I was suddenly overwhelmedwith what had transpired and Micheal pushed me hard all way across the redcarpet. I finished in 24:41. 19 minutes to spare and a negative split! Iwas so emotionally destroyed. I bawledlike a baby in a strangers arms as she handed me flowers. A gift for finishing. I just could not stop crying. At this momentmy whole 2011 dream had come true. All my fears, all my goals, all my hard workand my relentless pursuit couldn't have ended any better. I got the big buckle for the run just 6 daysafter the 100M MTB race. I was thrilled! The camera crews immediately wanted an interview. I guess what's better filmingthan having a grown woman bawl her eyes out in happiness? They asked me all theright questions like, "Tell us about your support systems?, How does itfeel to be a Leadwoman?, What was your biggest challenge?. All this just exacerbated my emotional stateso I proceeded to bawl the whole interview. I sure hope they edit that out.

This was an experience of a lifetime! No doubt about that. I am so glad I took thischallenge on. I met some amazing people, got to engulf a whole new sport and achievedsomething I have been thinking about since 2007 when I saw that burrow race inthe streets of Leadville Co. Leadvilleis truly a magical place. The questionfor me is, will I do this again in 2012?

I am a Leadwoman! Part 1

2011-08-31T13:25:00.000-07:00

This is a very late entry but my computer got sick and just got out of the hospital! She has a whole new hard drive. :)

I finished the Leadwoman events on Aug 21st. It may have been my biggest athletic accomplishment ever. Even morphing the Grand Slam of Ultra Running. Being able to pull off that mountain bike race under 12 hours given where I started was a huge success. I am really excited to have my name forever etched on that board. For some reason lots of people seem to think the MTB race isn't that hard or not as hard as the run. I am not in agreement. Now of course if you are purely a cyclist and don't run it would be easier but if your trying to do both I say the MTB is harder. Being on a complete adrenaline high, with a splash of fear and no time to coast makes for an intense 12 hours in the mountain's. I felt like I was on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride all day! The final 3 events of Leadwoman culminate in 7 days. The 100M MTB race on Sat. then the 10K on Sun. After 5 days of rest you get to run the 100M footrace. Here's my account of that action packed week.

Leadville 100M MTB Race: With 1900 riders (201 woman) the start was my biggest worry. When I checked in on Thursday I noticed my number was in the 300's. The big news this year was seeding the start. With so many riders lining the streets of Leadville the start has been an issue. Fast riders mixed with slow riders and no organization made that first 10 miles tough and somewhat dangerous as riders jockeyed for position.

This year they seeded the field. Pro's up front and if you finished the race before you were seeded in that time block. New riders were in the back, period. For me being in back made me super concerned about making the first 4 hour cutoff. I stressed about that first 40 miles for months. I rode it so much I knew exactly what I needed to do. I needed to ride like I was dying then deal with my aftermath for the remainder of the race where I knew my years of endurance experience would pay. When I got a low number then saw Todd Janssen's low number I was pumped. They seeded all the Leadman competitors up front. This was such a bonus! However, that meant a fast and furious start for me. I would need to hang with the big boys and girls and not crash.

The gun went off and I swear we were shot out like a rocket! Down the boulevard we went and I

was in a tunnel of riders. Their intense speed and force was pure drafting for me. I took the advice of veterans, "Pay attention to your 10 foot radius and nothing else". I tried to stay close to Todd who knew the ropes and most likely would take sympathy on me if I crashed bad. That lasted for about 3 miles then he was gone fast! As we rode the pavement making our way to the dirt I saw speeds of near 40 MPH! On a mountain bike that's hauling. I barely pedaled as my small stature created a draft tunnel like I have never experienced. When we hit the dirt the dust was unbelievable. I could see only about 10 feet in front of me. My mouth was immediately gritty and I knew my lungs were being filled with dirt. The drafting came to a screeching halt but the impact of mass amounts of people was intense. Now only 6 miles into this race the fast riders seeded in the back were making moves. I held my ground, elbows out with a firm and intense pedal stroke. I was trying disparately to get to the St. Kevins climb without sliding out or getting bumped out. This was hard. I was getting jostled a bit. Reaching the base of the climb watching all the riders funnel onto a 2 line narrow road was something out of a wildebeest migration movie. My strategy was stay to the right all the way up. I felt this was the best line. My biggest plan was to be strong! Not only physically strong but mentally strong. Not allow anyone to take my line and to not be forced off. If you are forced off your bike here your not getting back on for a long time. The funnel quickly turned to chaos. Some riders didn't gear down fast enough and couldn't ride causing a chain reaction of dismounts. Words flew as fast riders frustrations flared. I got behind a big guy and stayed within 6 inches of his tire. Barely looking up or around at other drama. Just catching it in my peripherals. Signals would make their way down the line, "slowing". Each person would repeat warning riders behind them. I got yelled at when I slammed my brakes. He says, "&%$%$ don't do that". My response, "If you are going to yell at someone you need to start at the front of the line". My braking was a save. A close call. At this point, on this climb, on this narrow 2 line track everything is a chain reaction. I was ready to be yelled at. I was mentally prepared so therefore all the drama rolled off me. It was way to early and congested for anyone to get all uppity. My work level was fairly intense on this climb because I needed to stay in it with this group which was fast. I made it all the way up Kevin's on my bike! Thanks to this seeding. My friends in the back who are very good riders were forced off due to the immense congestion and the chain reaction of one dismount. It's too steep to remount in most places.

Once at the top it was a fast and furious descent. For me, it was again a "stand your ground" type of ride. More riders from the rear were catching up and they were trying to get in position. I found myself forced to go much faster than I would have imagined. This was an incredible experience. One my friends once told me if you want to be a good MTBer you need to ride with faster people. They are right!

I made it to the first aid station in 55 minutes! Incredibly fast for me. During training, while riding for time and working really hard I got there in 1:10. I was pretty happy when I saw that. Now heading to Sugarloaf mountain and down powerline the riders were just starting to spread out. The paved decent of Kevin's was fast! Again I found myself in a drafting tunnel. That's such a weird feeling for me. I knew I needed to institute the same strategy getting up Sugarloaf. The final 3 miles to the summit is rocky and steep. I got behind a good rider. A very large man (a Navy Seal) and followed his lead. This is how I kept my line. I didn't allow enough room for anyone to cut in and believe me they wanted to. If you want to pass on this rocky steep section you need to have enough power to muscle over very rocky loose terrain. Then you need to get back in the line. I had guys trying to come around but I wasn't going to give up my position because that would mean a possible topple of dismount for me. If they wanted around me they needed to go around my steed (the Navy Seal) too. In order to do that they would have to muscle their bike over terrain for a much longer period of time and not many had the extra cardio capacity at this pace. My steed was a good leader too. He maneuvered around obstacles well. He wasn't super fast but steady and strong and deliberate. It was so perfect and he had no idea I tailing him. We got up the climb before I knew it. Now to infamous Powerline descent. LMTBer's talk about this descent a lot. It's steep, rocky, and slick but the biggest obstacle is the deep ruts. There is one good line down Powerline. Any other good line is shut down within a few yards with a deep rut. Some can be saved by correcting quickly but it's a risk. You can crash and it will be bad or worse you can taco a wheel then your done. The standard saying is, "You won't win your race by riding Powerline fast but you can loose your race or possibly your life". Last year a man almost died on Powerline. I got the pleasure of meeting him, riding with him and becoming friends with him. He was back after a year of serious rehabilitation. With all that said, riders seemed to have a respect for this descent and kept watch on other riders. With the exception of your occasional ass. As I made my way down I again chose the left line and planned to stay in no matter what! I had riders pass and they were incredibly patient. They would ask to pass, then wait for good time and I would slow giving them the line in front of me. About half way down in a nice train of riders we encounter our first ass. He comes flying down almost taking out a rider. The guys in front of me yells, "Hey, careful someone almost died on this last year, slow down". He rebuts, "FU, I don't need to ride to your sucky level"! Ok then! Karma.... bad. On the powerline descent there are 2 hills. Your flying down and you come to dip then have a steep but short climb.You need to be ready. Many weren't. They didn't know a hill was coming and weren't geared down enough to make it forcing them off their bikes. I knew it was coming and began preparing when I looked up and saw a sea of dismounted riders. I knew I would be off my bike too because I would reach the pack before they would be out of the way. No skin of my back.

I just geared down to start climbing slowly hoping I might be able to stay on. The guy behind me sighs and yells, "Pedal, your never going to get up this in granny gear, they let too many yahoo's in this race". I say, "That means you!, where do

you think we are going to go?, look up". He's pissed and I run up the hill with my bike, remount and ride. He tries to get around me as a monitor on the course is standing in the middle yelling, "stay left"! I was on the left because I knew I needed to be. He ignores the monitor, takes the right lane that quickly ends up in a 3 foot rut. He tries to save it, yelling all sorts of stuff as his rear wheel slides into the ditch. See ya!

Now 23 miles into the ride and I feel really good. I was looking forward to this moment. The start, St. Kevin's, Sugarloaf Mtn and Powerline descent are all history. I am still in one piece, my bike still works, I only got yelled at 3 times and I am way ahead of schedule. 17 miles to the first cutoff and at this point I already know I got this. Bill wrote, "Lead on my left calf and Woman on my right calf". I got a lot of atta girls because of that. I also think it gave me a bit of relief from getting trampled. There seems to be this idea among the MTBers that running 100 miles is nearly impossible. They really respect the fact that anyone can possibly do that. I on the other hand feel the same about them. The 100M run was going to be my day of celebration! Today it was intense focus. I heard this said many time, "Leadville 100MTB isn't technical". Next time I hear that they might get slapped! It's not as technical as single track rocky terrain but I feel the speed at which you need to ride this course to make the cuts changes everything. In addition, the number of riders makes the race course crazy. It makes this race technical. There's no time to rest and you need to be one your game the whole time pushing. In the 100M run I get to walk, I get to daydream and I don't have to worry about crashing to my death or anything like that. Of course this is all from my point of view :).

The speed zone isn't exactly what I would call a speed zone. The mild grade takes it's toll. I pushed and pushed here. I felt amazing and on occasion got a bit too comfortable. Like when I pulled my water bottle out started drinking right before a sharp, rocky descent. It came quick, as does everything at 15 MPH and I wasn't ready. I needed both hands to keep my bike steady over the rocks and mild ruts. My rear shocks were locked out and I couldn't get the bottle back in my shirt. I almost lost it but corrected. My bottle dangling in my teeth. I came to the bottom, gave myself the wake up slap and gathered my composure. You need to be 2 steps ahead of what's coming. There is no "on the fly" for me. I am not that experienced. All changes and modifications need to be pre-planned. Things like fueling, gear changes, shock adjustments and any big moves like passing or changing lanes all need to be planned.

I blew through the 40 mile cutoff mark in 3:10 and onto my crew over the hill before the big climb to Columbine mine (the high point at 12,500). My bike needed help. The dust had accumulated big time on my chain and it was grinding bad. I couldn't stand to hear it. It made me feel like the chain was going to snap at any minute. One heavy gear change or poor pedal crank and I swore it was going to snap. At my crew point they cleaned my chain and re-lubed running through all my gearing. This took a few minutes but was well worth it. I knew I would need my bike in full working order up and down Columbine. I on the other hand felt amazing. My body felt completely fresh and mentally I was over the top excited. The stress of not making the 4 hour cutoff was long gone and I had room to spare. While they lubed my bike I took a wet rag and wiped off my face. I was blown away by how much dirt I had on me. My body was also covered. It was time to go. I decided to settle in for the long ascent up Columbine. The leaders were already coming down and at speeds that I can't even comprehend. This 5 mile climb starts steady, get steeper and rockier as you go. It was imperative that riders honored the right and left side traffic. Just like a car.

If you swerved over into the other lane you were going to get hurt. The people descending were riding more towards the middle of the road in order to make the turns without skidding out. That meant the uphill traffic needed to keep a tight line going up. I didn't expect this. I just assumed we would be way more spread out but with 1900 riders this was spread out. There was some passing ability here but once you got up 3 miles it was too tight. When we arrived above treeline I could see miles of single track riders. It was quite a sight. Once I saw that I knew I would be forced off much earlier than I expected. I got a bit stressed about time. It gets very steep and everyone was walking their bike up. I got behind a tandem. Again, signals were given, "slowing", "dismount". This was super helpful. Walking your bike is a grind. It's really slow and just plain hard. The shoes have such a drop heel and pushing a bike is awkward. Anytime you can ride it's better. Gettting started on a hill is a skill and I am actually pretty good at it. However, there were a couple of times on Columbine when I had problems. A rider behind me gave me a shove to help me get going. I helped another. It was a very nice change from our Kevin's ascent. Folks were getting tired and many having issues with the altitude. There were lots of collapsed riders with painful looks of defeat on their faces and mostly just spent. It was interesting to see this. It was like you could see inside their minds and feel their disappointment. It was as if they knew it was over already. I wondered why? I now know. It was over for them. There simply is not enough time to have a moment like that in this race. The clock is ticking and you still have 50 miles to ride. You have to keep moving! Finally at the summit of Columbine. What a beautiful sight. The view is amazing and the weather was awesome! No rain, no clouds and the breeze was mild.

The decent down Columbine made the Poweline descent feel like a tea party. I was shocked at how scary and out of sorts this descent was for me. At the top riders are still coming up and it's narrow! There are sections I dismounted and walked down at training camp but I couldn't do that today. Riders were on my butt so fast I felt like road kill about to be eaten. They seemed slightly out of control and I had no option but to ride down. With such tight quarters at times I felt like my handbar was going to clip a rider coming up. Some riders who were walking up would occasionally pull out to pass just to be yelled at quickly to get out of the way. Riders who wanted around me weren't patient but I held my ground on the steep 1.5 miles. When I got down to the split I pulled off to take a moment. I was really shook up and needed a chance to get some water and gain composure. The worst of it was over but I knew the remaining descent was going to be fast and slick. I also knew I needed to ride just outside my comfort zone so I didn't cause any bad accidents. I was riding down this at about 25MPH which for me seems fast but everyone I passed going up rode by me like I was standing still. My arms ached and my hands were on the verge of cramping from griping and braking. My brakes were screaming and I knew they were hot. Seeing my crew at the base of Columbine was the best! I was shaking all over though. Standing on your bike for that long is work too but mostly I was emotionally spent. More chain lubing and I am off.

The final chapter of this race. 40 miles to the finish and 2 climbs left. I leave in high spirits but began fueling like crazy. Coming downhill makes fueling hard for me. I need both hands on the steering and don't feel comfortable enough to take one off to get fuel. Riding through the Twin Lakes aid station is like being a rockstar. The whole area is filled with spectators and they are on fire, cheering and yelling your number. Since there are not many woman I felt like I got the royal, you are amazing, oh my gosh look at her treatment. When you depart Twin Lakes you are filled up! You feel like you can do anything! With that jolt of energy I rode back through the speed zone on cloud nine. My energy level was high. I made my way up the hill and back onto the dirt followed by 3 woman all wearing the same kits with the same bike. They had a leader too. A guy who was pacing them. They must have been a racing team. They gunned for me and I played along. For a brief moment I felt like a real MTBer. I was now being chased! I let them go and tucked in. I rode with them looking back at me over and over. This was sort of intense and fun. I was in no way intending to get caught up in this but I couldn't help myself. I felt really good and had plenty to give so overtook the group and when we hit the single track climb where I knew I could drop them. Relatively speaking I found myself to be a better technical rider than the ones around me. I think it's because I have never been on a road bike and many of the LMTBers are road cyclist. The stuff I have learned on is very rocky, narrow and muddy.

When we hit the single track I had fun. I rode up this hard with the pack on my tail. Their lead guy pulled in front but I pushed him. When we reached the top he looked back to find his girls a quarter mile behind. He pulled over, said, "nice riding" and waited for them. That was quite a boost for me. At that very moment I felt like I belonged in this race.

Coming back into Pipeline (mile 73) I was anxious to see Brian and Alex. My pack would be waiting. Filled with everything I might need for the Sugarloaf climb. This was going to be an icky climb. I knew there would be lots of hike a bike time, it was super steep and hot. My mental plan was to kick back, keep my head down and grind it out. I would ride what I could. I envisioned entering a work load that would leave me breathless as I hiked my bike up. I rode into pipeline and no crew. I look around, no crew. I continue onto the road where other crews were staged thinking maybe they are there, no crew. I stop and gather myself. I know I have 2.5 hours before I see Bill or the next feed zone. I know I have to get up and over Sugarloaf. I have two empty 10 oz bottles and no gels! That's not gonna do. I stop and ask if anyone has water they can spare. Immediately 2 other crews sweep me up, fill my bottles, lube my chain, bring over a ton of gels and feed me. They were so sweet and incredibly generous. They wanted to sponge off my face and rub my shoulders. I left knowing I still could not make it on 20 oz of water. I also knew there would be tons of spectators at the base of Sugarloaf. I drank one whole bottle and a bit of the other while riding the 5 miles to the base. Just before I plunged into the Sugarloaf base I stopped again and spectators took care of me. They filled up my bottles and off I went. The climb was exactly what I expected. It felt steep, hot and endless. I plugged away with everyone else. Now chasing the clock. My mind wondered to the impossible. I reigned it in. I had plenty of time but at that moment I felt worried. Spectators lined the mountain and offered words of encouragement and the occasional beverage. Riders were splayed out on the sides, sweating and breathing hard. The altitude had taken hold of many. Their dust filled lungs were burning and the sun was pretty intense. When I started to walk my bike the sweat just poured. The natural breeze was gone and I was left with buckets of water running down my face, back and legs. Sugarloaf is brutal. It has 7 false summits. I knew this so I let it go, many couldn't. It was frustrating and slow. Finally reaching the top after 1:15 of slogging my bike up I found some shade. Weaving in and out of the shade while riding the final bit of climb was glorious. Then came the descent. That rocky loose 3 miles we climbed up is now the downhill. I must have said, "I love you" to my bike 30 times as it rattled and rolled over things. I was pleading for it to hold up. Less than 20 miles to go and all I wanted was no mechanical issues or flats. I was nice to my bike on this descent. Trying to take the big rocks and drops slow and steady. I was also getting mushy. My limbs were fatiguing and I at times I felt sort of unstable and less able to adapt quickly to terrain.

Finally onto Haggerman Pass. A well maintained gravel road. It felt like pavement compared to the others. I was hauling feeling so inspired and free. It was almost over and I overwhelmed with happiness as I made the turn onto the paved road for the final big climb. Just as I turned onto the road I see Bill. He wasn't supposed to be here. Stress filled his face. I look at him puzzled. He screams, "Are you okay"? I slow and come to a stop. Apparently the website was no help, I missed Alex and Brian at Pipeline and for he knew I was lying in a ditch taking my last breaths. He was completely freaked out. All the while I was on a such a high I forgot I hadn't seen any of my crew since mile 60. He gave me a small bottle of water and I left for the final Feed Zone at Carter Summit (mile 87). The climb to Carter Summit is on pavement. It's hot and long. Not too steep but enough to make you want to cry at this point. At the base I came upon the Lifetime Fitness crew who were just there to cheer on riders. I saw some familiar faces and got lots of "atta girls" plus a shove up the hill which gave me a bit of help. Somewhere I found my fourth gear and rode up to Carter Summit averaging 7.1 MPH! I passed at least 22 people. My tattooed calves gave me so much support, "Go Leadwoman". With every word of encouragement my pedal stroke grew stronger. Arriving at the final Feed Zone knowing I have more than enough time to make this was most likely one of the most memorable moments of this series. The vision of Bill and Johanas and their words, "see you at the finish" could be replayed over and over and I wouldn't grow tired of it. With just a bit of climbing left, a huge downhill and the final push on the boulevard the LMTB 100 was coming to close. During training it would take me about 1:30-1:40 to do these final miles. I had 2+ hours left. I did this in 55 minutes! That famous Leadville saying from Ken, "Your better than you think you are and can do more than you think you can" couldn't be more true!

I had tons of energy. Pure adrenaline must have been pursing through my body. I used every bit of it. As riders were forced to dismount on the final grunt climbs I could power out of the saddle and grind it out. Coming to the final descent of the race I kept telling myself to not get cocky and crash. Keep it in control and pay attention. Just as I finished my internal lecture a guy comes flying down, yells, "coming on your left". He forces me off course and I brake coming to a screeching halt about 2 feet from a tree! The guy behind him asks if I am okay, rides off and yells at the guy for being reckless. I wasn't too pissed but felt it would be appropriate for me to try to dust him up the boulevard. He was way gone on the descent and out of my sights. Coming off the final descent and making my way to the boulevard and only 5 miles to go. I take the turn onto the boulevard and settle in for the final 4 miles of gravel road. This mild uphill grade is horrible in the 100M run and not much fun in the bike either. Riders were spent. Spinning with very little left to give. I was able to ride out of saddle. Mashing like a crazy person. I had plenty in the tank and couldn't wait to ride that red carpet. I caught Mr. Tree Pusher and passed him like he was standing still. It felt good. I don't know why but it just did. If I was 10 I would have stuck my tongue out at him but I am 44 and have a bit of maturity. However at that moment I wasn't demonstrating much. :)

Crossing the finish line in 11:13, fully in tact, bike still working, no crashes and no flats was incredible. What's better is I had a thrilling day! From the minute the gun went off all the way to finish was just an indescribable experience. I really had to, "man up" emotionally. Physically I felt confident but I am no stranger to mental/physical connection. This is a boys sport. The numbers prove that. There is really no room for sissy's and I can be a real, "girl" complete with pink bows in my hair! I had plenty of pink flowing but I held my own here. Not only that but I felt confident and didn't once feel like I didn't deserve to be there.

Event #3 was now in the books. Tomorrow would be the 10K then 5 days to prepare for the 100M footrace. Right after the finishing I was already thinking about recovery. Two 10lbs bags of ice were waiting for me. I ate, took an ice bath, then ate some more. The next morning were awards and it was longest awards ceremony ever! With so many riders and individually calling them up it seemed to last forever. It got incredibly hot inside the gym. A nice warm up for the 10K! I planned on running easy at the 10K. I had no reason to push myself and just wanted to recover from the MTB race. I ended up running a few Leadman competitors and we chatted the whole time. It actually felt pretty good to run. It took about 3 miles before my legs figured out there is not saddle to sit on. :) I ran the 10K in 58 minutes. I actually felt this was a fast time for the course! I was the first Leadwoman to cross the line :). Back home for another ice bath and begin planning the 100M footrace.

It's a wrap!

2011-08-03T06:53:00.000-07:00

It's all done. No more training! It's been a long journey of discovery and I am pretty excited to see how it unfolds. From not knowing how to clip my feet into a bike in October to now jumping it over obstacles has been an experience. A wild ride to say the least. It's hard for me to even express how much things have changed. How much I have learned about mountain biking and about myself. Trying to balance ultra running the endurance mountain biking has been interesting. Feeling lack luster on most of my footraces and watching my speed (the little I have) suffer. There have been changes everywhere. From my fitness, to my body and most of all my confidence. I joke about being sore somewhere for almost 11 months as my body adapts to the aggressive nature of MTBing to the cathartic motion of trail running. This might have been the biggest test of perseverance I can remember. Staying present and not giving up on the bike when I know I can go back to ultra running, something comfortable. You absolutely can teach an old dog new tricks!

At times this has been incredible frustrating but at other times incredibly rewarding. Letting go of all my paradigms about my athleticism and opening myself to failure (over and over). Not trying to prove I belong because I can run 100 miles but banking on that to get me through has made me better. It's given me even more appreciation for the strength ultra running has given me. The mental strength so stay in it not matter what. This has been very humbling and I love those kinds of experiences because they remind me there's always more. The other night after watching the 2009 MTB race Alex said, "Mom I and really nervous for you". I immediately thought he was worried about me getting hurt so I assured him I would be careful. He said,"No, I am worried you're not going to make it and we will all be a mess, we will all be bawling our eyes out".

With only a bit over a week before I line up with 1800 other MTBers to complete the toughest 100M MTB's around I am full of emotions. I will be fighting cutoffs all day and it's been along time since that has happened. Worrying that all the hard work, investment of time and money could be done in 4 short hours is a real possibility. I have sat for many hours with this. From the time the gun goes off I will be fighting for my line on the trail and working near threshold on the climbs. Then I must descend with speed and determination. I will need to ride down the infamous powerline (sugarloaf as we, runners, know it) at least 12 miles per hour. Then I need to rush through the speed zone, skipping the pipeline aid stop and reach mile 40 in 4 hours. I seriously can't afford one bad crash or any mechanicals. Once I reach that hurdle I have 3 more cutoffs to fight. With already 5,000 on my wheels I have another 8,000 to go in 60 miles. That includes at least 2 forced dis-mounts. The first at the top of Columbine (the high point) and the trudge back up the face of Powerline. I am banking on my experience dealing with pain and enduring to get me through the back half.

There is no getting around the facts. I will be on edge for 12 solid hours. Trusting my bike to ride over and down things at speeds I am not comfortable with but need to embrace. I have decided to plunge in this with a positive but aggressive attitude. I can't start this race with a "I might not make it" attitude. I can not be hesitant and I can not be weak mentally. Instead I have decided to give it everything I've got until they pull me off. To take each section as it's own small XC race. I have given this endeavor everything I could. I have left nothing on the table so I have no regrets. I am actually excited to experience it. There is a reason only 6 plaques on the board of over 100 are woman. Becoming a Leadwoman is hard. Riding this course in 12 hours is damb hard and makes the DNF sheets for a 100M footrace look short. Whatever this outcome I love MTBing...Watch this!

The next day I get to run or should I say get through the 10K. After that I have 5 days to pull myself together and run the 100M footrace. I am actually looking forward to that day. I know it won't be my best Leadville performance but it will be a great day to get lost in all that has happened. I want to spend the day reliving and daydreaming about all that has gone into this goal. I have gotten a year of amazement and I want to give it the emotional time it deserves. To cement it in my memory. I want to dream and think about what's next. I am also looking forward to that familiar feeling of running 100M in the mountains. If I can get that all done my name will be added to the board of Leadmand and Leadwoman and that will be so awesome!

It's been another year of pure joy.

Silver Rush 50M

2011-07-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

Both the 50M run and the 50M MTB were held this last weekend. The bike on Sat. and the run on Sun. We had big Oregon crew participating. Micheal and Drake did the Silver King which is a distinction given to those who do both the MTB and the Run. Bill did the MTB, Darin and I did the run. Todd chose the MTB as his second Leadman event. It was an action packed weekend and so much fun. The gruelling course does not dissappoint. 7,500 feet of ascent. All above 10,000 feet and we reach 12,000 three times. The footing for the most part was pretty good. Some rocky sections but I would say overall not a super technical course. That didn't prevent me from slamming my foot into a rock and stubbing my big toe so hard the nail lifted. That hurt!

Darin, Alex and I crewed the MTB ride. That was so fun to watch! Todd was so speedy I only got one picture of him and we never saw him again. The whole scene was really eye opening and inspiring. Action packed! They had 750 riders and of those just a handful of woman. The final female count was less than 30! Come on ladies we need to get in the game. This is very tough MTB course and anyone who lines up has my admiration. All our guys did amazing finishing well under the cutoff and not an open wound in sight or a bandaid needed! Bill had so much fun out there and once again he amazes me. I think this might be the 3rd time he has rode his bike and not only did he finish with lots of time to spare he had a total blast. He can't stop talking about it. Even more impressive is Drake and Micheal's Silver King accomplishment. 2 full days on that course and they posted impressive times.

As for my run, well, I am thrilled. I finished 14th out of 74 woman and 4th masters. Best of all first Leadwoman. I had 2 goals for this race. First, get my quads worked and second go for negative splits. I got a lot of strange looks because I chose the run instead of the MTB for my Leadwoman event. You get a choice with of which Silver Rush event. My strategy has been to train hard on the bike and use this 50M run as a another training race for my legs. Though I am not worried about Leadville 100M run I will never ever take a 100M run for granted. Plus, I have never run a 100M race 6 days after a 100M MTB race. I suspect I will not get the big buckle on the run this time. My legs were darn tired going in to this race. The fatigue I feel from hard long rides is much different from running. I have a strong sense of my well being with regards to ultra training. The sore muscles, tight quads, some swelling from muscle damage and overall fatigue are all too familiar. The bike skips many of these. I get tight but in different spots. I am not sore and generally not too fatigued. But, what I am learning is there is a deeper fatigue that is a hidden and unfamilar. When I put my body to the test it becomes forefront and cumbersome. After finishing the LMTB training camp where I rode 125 miles I felt remarkably fine. I ran the two days then Todd and I did a 40 mile ride on Wednesday. I was completely beat on that ride. The hidden fatigue was no longer in the shadows! I rested as much as I could before Sunday. Trying to get as much repair as possible before Silver Rush 50M.

After the action packed day crewing I was ready to get out there. Almost craving the crazy ultra vide I knew would be present in this kind of tough course. I was ready to see what this body could do. With my all too conservative start filled with lots of good conversation at mile 8 I decided it was time to focus. Give this race some effort and make my body respond. Immediately I was bummed at how much the altitude seem to bother me. It was frustrating to have so much trouble breathing. I had to let it go because I was starting to get pissed. That certainly does not help the respiration! I can't tell if I was breathing so hard because I working hard or if it was the altitude. It really doesn't matter because I had to work with what I had. For the first 25 miles Micheal, Drake, Darin and I were all leap frogging and running fairly close together. That was fun. The views on the back side of Bald Mountain are incredible and pictures will not do it justice. At the turn I tried to kick it up a notch. Trying to reach goal number 2, negative splits. Goal number 1 was well in the bank. My quads were already thrashed. Honestly I can't remember them hurting this bad this early in an event. It's been a long time. I welcomed it. This is money. I will reap the benefits of this in the 100M run. I am certain of it! It gave me opportunity to deal with pain. To understand it and deal with it for a good long time. I knew on the way home I had about 9 miles of down hill. Not all of it but most the final 9 are down. With my quads already quivering I was curious to see how I could hold onto this run.

Coming into the final aid station I actually felt pretty good but was riding a fine line. A line where my body and mind walked the tight rope. My brain would process the terrain but my body was just one synapse behind. My legs were absolutely fried. They even looked the part, mushy and flat. The muscle damage had already set in and water was filling the gaps. With about 5 miles to go I stumble and my left leg just popped out of my hip socket. I walked and shook it hoping it would go back in the right spot. I got some mild relief but this certainly didn't feel good. Oh well, just another day in an ultra....right. The remainder of the run seemed to go on forever. The heat seemed over the top too. I gimped in under 10 hours. Overall thrilled but this might be some of the worst final 5 miles I have run in a very long time. Another good experience and reminder. This stuff is not easy but I guess that's why I keep coming back.

The biggest lesson I got this weekend was how much recovery I need between the 100M MTB ride and the 100M run. I have 6 days between those events. 6 days to repair my body for what I know will not be a walk in the park :)

Leadwoman Event #1 and LMTB Training Camp!

2011-07-11T15:35:00.001-07:00

Leadwoman events started out perfect with the Leadville Marathon. It's the first event of the series and it went off without a hitch. I'd given this race absolutely no attention. I didn't even

look at the information until Thursday. One glance at the profile and time cutoff I felt nervous. Please! How can a marathon put me in that frame of mind, nervous and self doubting. Seems fairly ridiculous now but I suppose my demeanor was as result of feeling anxious because it's all starting. The hard work is basically done and now I need to execute. I am finding this to be a weakness. I love the prep. The dreamy part of planning an outcome. Preparing your body for the event is always my favorite part. Watching and feeling the changes all the hard work brings. The transition from preparation to execution is something that does not come easy. It feels like a lost space. A space I am not sure how to manage with confidence. Once it all gets going I seem to find my mojo. That is a good feeling. I wonder if my pre-event start mood is a conservative, you never know what's going to happen default. Never be too confident. I am not sure this is a good quality.

We arrived in Leadville mid day on Friday the day before the marathon. On the drive I tried endlessly to convince Bill to drop down to the half. I was really worried about how the altitude would treat him. Coming right from Europe and an extremely stressful work trip had me concerned for him. He pretty much ignored me. When we got to Leadville and he saw the finishers medal his eyes lit up and there's was no negotiation. He was doing the marathon. It's a cool trinket.

The day was beautiful, the terrain rugged and the scenery amazing. I took it really easy and any time I felt my lungs stress or a mild dizziness I pulled back. Once I made it to the turn which was the high point at 13,300 feet I felt great. I picked up the pace a bit. I finished in 6:02 which thrilled me. I was 3rd 40+ year old and 3rd Leadwoman. Not bad given the effort. This finish left me gitty and more excited for the other events. The altitude was there but not debilitating. My body was fine and I had no aftermath. Not even sore quads! Bill was impressive. When I saw him heading up to Mosquito Pass he looked really good and was feeling awesome. I am always impressed with my amazing husband. He can do pretty much anything and does it with the up most strength. This crosses all parts of his life. He felt really good too and with his non-existent training I was blown away. One event down!

LMTB Training Camp: Bill forwarded me an email he received from the Leadville Series Website. It was about a training camp for the Leadville 100M MTB Race. He asked why I wasn't doing this? I didn't even know about it. While we were hanging out after the Marathon we drove

both the 50M and 100M MTB courses. I got increasingly freaked out. The climbs were grueling and even my Rover didn't like inching up the rocky hillsides climbing St. Kevins and the top of Columbine! That night had some sort of nightmare about the MTB ride. Bill woke me up. I was sweating and ranting about altitude. That pretty much cemented my need to go to the training camp. Bill insisted. I am not sure if he was trying to get rid of me J. After a couple of days in Leadville we all headed to Beavercreek where Bill had a huge work event. The camp was to take place Friday and Saturday. Co-workers of Bill's whose family was also in Beavercreek offered to take Alex zip lining and MTBing while I was at the camp. With him taken care of I called the camp director and asked if I could get a last minute spot. I headed back to Leadville for what would be the most incredible MTBing experience ever.

The camp was full of LMTB 100 veterans willing to share their wealth of information. All the guides had over 7 finishes with a few going for number 15! These folks know how to finish this race. We were broken into groups based on our predicted finish time. The cutoff is 12 hours. I chose the 11-11:30 group. I actually think I will be very close to 12 but wanted to give myself some room and be pushed.

Day 1: We rode 60 miles, the first and final 30 of the race. This takes us up and over St. Kevins and up and over Sugarloaf and down into the Pipeline aid station. We then retraced our steps. That meant we needed to ascend the legendary Sugarloaf climb. This did not disappoint and neither did its descent. I followed our guide down Sugarloaf and asked him to give me all the advice he felt I needed. This was awesome and removed almost all my anxiety. I heard this quote many times on day 1. "You will not finish your race because your descended Sugarloaf fast but you could very well lose your race on that descent". After I did it I could completely see the point. This is a rugged, rutted, steep, slick descent with almost only 1 line down. If you taco a tire or take a bad fall if could be over. The climb back up Sugarloaf was hard and it will be even harder after 80 miles on your legs. Some of it is ridable but there is a good section of hike-a-bike. Hiking your bike up a steep rocky climb is really hard! It hurts my calves and pushing the bike leaves very little use of the upper body to help propel you up.

I crushed this day leaving my group and catching the faster groups. Mostly because the Mosquito's were so bad I didn't stop for long. Finishing day 1 was incredible. The level of athletes I was surrounded by were inspiring in all their stories and advice. Once finished I headed straight to the store for a 20 lb bag of ice to prepare myself for the next day. Bring on the ice bath. After a wonderful dinner provided by the camp and the amazing speakers I was pumped to see how my body would respond to day 2.

Day 2: We left with another police escort from the headquarters making our way back to Pipeline where we would pick up the course again. Today we do the final portion from Pipeline to Columbine and back. Columbine is the biggest longest climb on the course taking you to the highpoint at 12,200. This climb is about 5 miles and 4,000 feet. Not many breaks and the top is very rocky and steep. This will be a hike-a-bike section for me. I was anxious to see how much of it I could do before dismounting. We started fast (this seems to be a theme) and I am seeing speeds on my bike I have never rode. Upwards of 35 MPH on my MTB is not a comfortable pace for me but I don't have choice or I will get crushed. I hung in the middle of the pack and forced myself to focus with relaxation letting the bike carry me, not fight it. This is mental ache for me. A constant brain/body conflict! I was feeling good physically and actually excited to see how I preformed compared to the group. I rocked! First girl to summit columbine and was strong. Emotions bubbled up big time as I saw the summit and was still on my bike with some reserves. The leaders came rushing by and I got a ton of atta girls which meant a ton coming from those athletes. Tears began to fall and my grin was no doubt wide. I got to the top and exchanged some high fives with a couple of guys. We began the descent! The top portion was so steep and rocky I thought about dismounting. I held on to it and trusted my bike who never lets me down. My hands ached really bad and we just started coming down this 5 mile beast. I hung tough trying to reposition my hands to relieve the ache but still have control and a good grip on the brakes. This bike has become a very trusted partner and seems to always take care of me. That sentiment was shared by many MTBers when talking about their bike. It's such a huge factor. You must love your bike! I made the decent without incident. In fact, I completed the entire camp without incident. At the base I shook our my numb hands and aching arms. Heading back to pipeline is no cake walk. It's a mild up with sometimes steep but short climbs. 65 miles and another 6,500 feet of climb was done! I loaded my bike and headed back to the family with a whole new confidence I can make the cutoff. Not that it's going to be easy but it's possible! This opportunity was incredible and I am so thankful Bill pushed me to do it. It literally was life changing. Another adventure and a hugely incredible experience!

Now we are all back in Leadville I feel really good. Darin, Micheal, Drake and his dad arrive this week to do the Silver Rush events. Micheal and Drake are doing both the 50M MTB and the 50M Run. Bill is riding the 50M MTB and Darin and I will run. It’s going to be an action packed weekend and event #2 towards becoming a Leadwoman.

Not your typical marathon

2011-06-29T06:44:00.001-07:00

Saturday is the Leadville Marathon. The first race of the Leadwoman series. It's not at all your typical marathon which suits me just fine. Much more like an ultra. Mostly on dirt with lots of climbing and descending. We got an email from the RD last night that read more like a disclaimer. There's snow on the course. No big deal for the mountains but the way the email read was interesting. It sounded something like this:

There's snow on the course, volunteers have cut steps on the climbs, don't slip and be cautious, we've dug trenches on the side hills but be sure to not slide down a snow bank, the course is very safe thanks to our volunteers but can be dangerous so be careful with your footing, be prepared for any kind of day weather wise, please be careful to not fall and die on the ice.......

That's not exactly what it said but Bill was laughing hysterically when he read the email. Poor man, I sign him up for stuff that seem like a no brainer. His longest run was pacing me at Miwok in May. He knows how to suffer well though. I on the other hand couldn't be more excited about the email. This is right up my slow ally!

Park City has been amazing. The weather perfect and the endless amount of single track makes controlling myself hard. I've explored a bunch of new trails this time which has made me love it here even more. I can mountain bike right out the door. There's a huge amount of multi-use trails which I am not used to. Most of the trails I train on are not open to MTB's and the ones that are have a considerable amount of snow on them. I have already told Bill and Alex we need to spend more time here next summer! Off the Leadville on Friday.

TOE 50M MTB & some training:

2011-06-25T14:47:00.000-07:00

TOE 50M MTB: This was quite a race. 8,000 feet of climbing. It was a great way for me to evaluate my MTBing progress. The climbs were long and all on gravel roads with the exception of a few grunt trail sections. Once you completed a 30+ minute climb you would descend on single track. Short, steep and fast. Sometimes the trails were just too gnarly for my skill set which would cause a dismount. Mostly unplanned in the form of a fall. I fell more on this race than I have fallen in my whole short MTBing career. I had only 2 half endo's and believe it or not they were both in the same place! Since the course is 2 loops I got the opportunity to perfect things. Just by accident Micheal and I were together pretty much all day. This made for some good laughs! A nice light hearted approach to craziness made the falls much less painful. I do have a nice large bruise on my right bicep. My handlebar met my arm on the way down, ouch. My splits for the loops were exactly even! Now that is endurance J. I absolutely loved the race and would do it again in heartbeat.

After TOE50M I took one day to get all myself pulled together before I did the 13 hour drive to Utah. My family is in Paris working. Yes, Alex has his first job. It was short 5 day stint at the Paris Air Show. Quite the learning experience for him and dad. Since his job is not affiliated at all with Bill's company Alex got a good lesson in working for someone else. He's growing up! I am spending 2 weeks here in Park City. I've been busy getting to know trail systems I am not familiar with. So far it's been a great time. Bill and Alex will be joining me in a few days and we will make our way to Leadville. It's going to be a great summer but I will miss my animals! I already miss my needy cat. However, our house sitter is spoiling them like crazy. What I am not missing is my "To Do" list. I know I make my life way more complicated than it needs to be. I can't pull my type A distraction tactics here in Park City.

TRAINING: I feel like my training is coming to a close. The volume is still high but mentally I am focusing more on the races which start on July 2nd with the Leadville Marathon. Bill will be running it too. Should be a fun time.

Last Friday I hired a guide to take me on a killer mountain bike ride here in Park City. This is what my workout called for: "2 hours, Mostly below threshold except for a 30 minute black out push. Focus on cadence and holding that hard effort". I have not ever had a workout that said "black out push" but I like it. I envisioned working so hard that my eyes would be rolling in the back of my head. When I showed up for the trip I was ready to get schooled. My guide just happened to be a crew member for the second place woman at Leadville MTB, incredible. He told me right away he would be returning with her this year as her mechanic. Not only did he make adjustments to my bike but he gave advise straight from her mouth. When we arrived at the trailhead he had me go first so he could get an idea of how I rode. It started out uphill and right away my heart rate was screaming. It was narrow, rocky and dry. Wonderful single track but elements I have very little experience on. Where's the wet mud? After about 7 minutes of climbing he had me pull over and this is what he said, "Watching you climb up this hill is making me tired"! Good thing I have no ego around this. My reply, "Well I am already tired". He said, "You have a really strong upper body why aren't you using it"? I said, "Oh, this is just for ascetics it doesn't get used much". He said, "That's about to change"! My thoughts were….bring it on…it's about time this came in handy". He showed me how to stand and ride uphill. My heart rate dropped at least 20 beats and it was so much more efficient and easy. After about an hour warm up and lots of skill lessons it was time to "black out". We stood at the bottom of the valley and he said we're climbing up there. He pointed and I said, "By that house way up there on the third ridge". His reply, "No, beyond that". Sweet! I got my head in the game and off we went. He got in front and tried to keep pace with my new climbing skills. Around tight switchbacks with lots of loose gravel my rear tire would spin. I would reposition and get a better grip all the while

staying out of the gully. He pulled over and got behind me. I continued to ride and my breath was coarse. I needed more air and at moments I felt like I was going to puke. He said, "Your doing awesome Ronda do you need a break"? Nope, I'm riding. That's all I could muster. I crested the top and was elated but almost blew chips. My heart was beating so hard I could see my chest thump through my jersey. A high five from Chris and an atta girl was reassuring. At that moment I felt pretty darn invisible and certainly very alive! It took me 47 minutes to make the climb and someday I will return for a rematch.

That's my only MTB ride since TOE 50M. The rest of my training has all been running. My leg speed has suffered a lot but Matt said that would happen. I have let go of some of those expectations and filed it away under "Fall project". Currently I am around 7,500. The tent I slept in went to 9,000. I think I got some benefit from it since I am not gasping for air too badly. However, it's not gravy. I still feel a tug on my lungs.

Beacon Rock 50K

2011-06-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

You simply can't pass up a race that is held in the Gorge. It's just one of the most awesome places to run on earth. James put on another whopper. I guess if you're going to run in the Gorge you would expect it to be brutal. The Beacon Rock didn't disappoint! 4 bit climbs. Two times to Hardy Ridge and two times up Hamilton Mountain. I got a bit over 8,000 feet of ascent.

My left glutes have been racked for quite some time. I am waiting for them to adapt. Seems they're taking their sweet time. Runner's aren't known for their back ends. Generally pretty flat and under developed especially the lower glutes. Along with the glute hamstring tie in. If you run in the mountains or on lots of hills the medius and maximus are usually strong. The lower glutes get ignored in the running process. Mine are no different! However, biking especially MTB makes the lower glutes and upper hamstring work like dogs. My dogs are barking and they have been for months. It's a slippery slope of thrash and recover but not quite 100%.

After the 6 hour ride with it's grunt like terrain my lower glutes, piriformis and upper hamstrings were racked! I been living on a softball and a foam roller. They were just coming around on Friday. When I say coming around I mean I could walk and run without flailing dramatically. I feel like an old dog who has bad hips that curl under their hind quarters.

On Sunday at the start of Beacon Rock I felt pretty good. Mostly rested. After about 1 mile I knew it was going to be bad butt day. Climbing was pretty easy but any downhill was not so much fun. The lack of length in the tight glute/ham tie in area made descending rough. After a slow 25K where I took 2 Advil I considered calling it day. I did the normal mental battle for about 1 mile into the turn. I quickly left before my mind could settle on a decision. For the next 2 miles I grimaced and still considered turning around. I really needed this long hard run though. I ran into Esther who was just so positive and lovely. I chatted with her for a few minutes and left feeling better about life in general. Her upbeat demeanor was encouraging. Further up the trail I ran into Melissa who said, "Ronda, so good to see you and you just a beautiful as ever" I almost fell apart. She said, "You always brighten up the trail and are such an inspiration". I held back tears. I was so moved. What a nice thing to hear. A very generous compliment but I took it. After that I was completely uplifted. My butt still hurt really bad but I stopped dwelling on it and began to move better. When someone calls you an inspiration it's best to try and live up to the title and not waste it. I started thinking of who inspires me. It's a pretty good list and that helped me get over myself too.

Moving past the "uhggg" when is this going to end into a more positive mental space makes almost everything better. It's the true battle in this sport. It's what keeps us coming back. It's the perfect schooling in the power of decision. Though uncomfortable and sometimes painful moving through is many times better than not. All in all this was a great training run. Hard, humbling, slow but rewarding at the same time. Darin and Micheal had stellar runs. Amy opted for the 25K and won it. Beast had a great day out there too. I really did well with my post race stuff. I made sure I hydrated, ate really good, took an ice bath and slept as much as I could. Since my cardio wasn't taxed I don't feel as bad or tired. My glutes will be on ice all day, in the car, in a chair and any time I can sit. Hopefully I can get them repaired enough for the TOE 50M this Sunday. The Test of Endurance 50M MTB race with 8,700 feet of climb. This will be my last event before the Leadville Marathon on July 2nd.

This one's gonna hurt...

2011-06-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

Beacon Rock 50K this weekend. I am excited to spend the day running around Hamilton Mountain. I suspect this is going to be tough event! This last week was pretty much a bust for me. I was exhausted! That 6hr mountain bike race destroyed me. It's been really hard to describe the kind of fatigue the long mountain bike races bring. I am not physically hurti

ng but it seems to give me this overall deep fatigue. My heart rate during the events is pretty high but not out of the ordinary when compared to trail running. I am wondering if the constant adrenaline drip might be zapping my system. Topping off the hard effort. It's such a new sort of tiredness.

Since I was thrashed this week I missed one of my runs. I gave it the good girl scout effort but aborted after 1 mile. I was just toasted and felt I was riding a fine line anyway. Instead I took a nap! I was out cold and had to peel my face off the pillow. Today was the first day this week I haven't been dreaming about my bed. I think I am on the mend. Just in time too. I have to keep a close eye on myself right now. I get so caught up in the fun I forget I am not supergirl. I am bit edgy as well. If one more person reminds me I am in my mid forties their gonna get hurt. As if once you hit 45 your done. Not buying it yet. However, when you're cooked at this age it show

more :) It's hard to hide the drooping, I feel like crap look.

I am sleeping at 9,000 feet now. The tent won't go up any further. One more week in this tent and I can't wait to get out. Though I have created quite a homey feel it's time to move on. My cat is going to be devastated. I think my recovery has been hampered a bit from some restless nights. After a hard long effort I have dreams I am being smothered. This of course wakes me up and I scramble out for air. This disturbs both Bill and

my cat. Bill jokes that I am my own circus act, ya know, tents, animals and various other stunts.

Hopefully Beacon Rock won't push me over the edge, literally!

How big is your bubble?

2011-06-07T12:32:00.001-07:00

13 chain drops and only 2 working gears made the Washougal 6hr MTB race a bit of challenge. Though my temper tantrum was quite dramatic a good solid time out got me back in the game. It was hot too. 85 degrees at the end of the day. The course was not what I expected. To me it felt like MTB short track racing on steroids. Lots of short steep ascents. The descents weren't long enough to get a good flow and most ended with a hairpin turn. Tons of elements. It had it all, single track, logs to jump, slippery rocks to climb and lovely rutted motor cross track. I took some good falls but nothing horrible. I have a few bruises, a handlebar jab mark on my chest and sunburned arms.

I went into the day ready to test myself. I wanted to see how hard I could go and what might be exposed. A sore butt? Racked up legs? Fatigued arms? The one element I wasn't expecting is mechanical issues. I don't really know much about how to fix my bike. Little by little I am learning which is good. I am like a kid in a candy store when people are working on their bike. Hovering over them asking a ton of annoying questions. Although I dropped a few F-Bombs and had moments that make Barbie look mature I got some great experience. By lap 3 (18+) miles I had put my chain on 13 times. On any shift up my chain would jump off. I now know how to put my chain on!

With the terrain I could have used more gears for sure but since I didn't have them my choice was to quit or deal. I wanted to quit but chose to deal. I always wondered what it would be like to ride a single speed and I got a taste of it. Good news is I was able to ride 4 more laps with the 2 gears and no chain drops. Took my bike in today and the derailer is bent. It's brand new. Cyclepath is awesome. They are going to replace it and bend the one I have back so I can use it as a spare. They walked me through all the issues and I can now see exactly what's going on. Lots of great practice. In Leadville anything can happen so now I know I can work with it, though not at all ideal, doable. Todd Janssen who calmly fixed his punctured tire minutes before the race started was

amazingly calm. I would like to channel that. With all of his adventure racing experience he's a wealth of knowledge. He said, "I can pretty much McIver anything on this bike" when referring to how he handles repairs. That's pretty cool. To have that kind of confidence. The knowledge that you can fix it enough to get you moving again is where I would like to be. With each race and each experience I am gaining just bit more confidence.

My bike handling skills got a serious upgrade on Saturday. With each lap every obstacle got more routine. Jump over a log, sure why not? Point your bike down the rocky hill and fly, okay! Skid around the corner and fall, no big deal. Bill took some serious falls on Saturday. Endoed again but rolled a couple of times along with it. He was battered. Micheal met his share of gravel as well. I think Todd was the only one of us who stayed upright! I was pretty thrashed after the ride. I rode in a high heart rate all day. Pushing myself as much as I could. I was beat for Sunday's long run. Fortunately Micheal was in no rush so in a fogged state I got it done.

I am riding the line of exhaustion right now. The last 2 days have been sort of a blur. I am paying close attention to indicators and trying to eat well and sleep as much as I can. It's busy at home. Alex is finishing up his Freshman year and his Europe trip is right on heals of his last day of school. All the Colorado plans are done and we have everything all lined up. It's coming fast and I am getting increasingly excited.

In a conversation with someone the other day we were talking about Leadwoman events. They wanted to know how I felt about it and if I was concerned. I am most certainly concerned. They looked at me in a comforting manner. Assuring me that I need not be afraid of failing. Failing is okay. I was sort of taken back. I felt like I should be sitting on shrinks couch but yet I have no fear of failing. Failing is not my issue. I have learned and thrived more from my failings as we all do. I don't like it but that's not my issue. What I don't like is bursting my own bubble. My internal feeling and drive that I can do anything I set my mind to. The notion I can put forth the effort and work necessary no matter how hard and achieve my goal. I don't like having my bubble burst. That's what I worry about. I fear becoming complacent with my dreams. Accepting I am not able to dream and accomplish. Not making the cutoff at the Leadville 100 MTB will burst my dream bubble. If I do make the cutoff at MTB race my bubble is still intact and that's what I really want. Nothing catastrophic will happen if it gets burst but I won't lie it's not going to be easy to brush off. The conversation went on and they are still sure it's the same as fear of failing but it's not. For me, it's much different.

More risk...some reward.

2011-05-31T17:00:00.001-07:00

"Hey, what category are you in"? I got that question 2 times during the Stampede. Amusing in one way and a total boost in another. The start for the Sister's Stampede was well executed. The Cat 3 riders went 30 minutes before the Pro and Cat 1 riders. The Pros and Cat 1 left 5 minutes before the Cat 2 men, then the Clydesdale, then the Cat 2 woman. Perfectly spread out. Since my group was last I was last! Not kidding, very last for about 5 miles. Then the hills came and I caught a couple of people. I wasn't taking my sweet time either. I was riding as fast as the synapses in my brain could take in the terrain. XC MTBer's have this perfect balance of Power, Speed and Endurance. I find their athleticism fascinating. Oh, and let's not forget Guts!

The course includes a loop that must be completed twice. By the time I arrived at the junction the pros and cat 1 riders were coming around for their second loop. Monitors held me at the junction while the first group of speedsters launched onto the trail. I quickly remounted and made my way into the loop. Just as I was getting my MTB on more pros and cat 1 riders came from behind like a freight train. I unclipped and pulled to the side and watched them go by with amazement. With incredible speed and power they took on the rocky butte like it was nothing. I realized this was just the beginning of many more pullovers. I decided to make the most of it by tucking right behind the group and trying to stay with them as long as possible. This is where I got the question about which category I was in. I could stay with them on the short climbs but the minute the terrain would flatten, become technical or head downhill they were gone before I could get my gears changed! I played this game several times and was proud I could climb so easily. Seemingly effortless. Maybe it's the 6 inches I cut off my hair J

I was really happy with my day. I rode everything, didn't fall and took more risks than I have before. I am still super slow compared to all the other riders despite the fact I felt like I was riding very fast. At some points I was doing 13+ MPH on single track that is not straight. All the trails seemed to be very curvy with a Ponderosa Pine on every corner just begging to be a bounce pad. I clearly have endurance which is no shock. After I finished I could have gone out and rode it again and most likely faster. I was completely fine. Not at all fatigued. My cardio was barely taxed. I am really banking on this being my only hope for Leadville. My ability to stay in the game.

I ran 14 miles of the course the day before while Bill, Alex and Ryan rode. It was great to watch Alex and Ryan (Alex's best bud) ride with absolutely not a care in the world. Alex jumped rocks and showed me some of his best moves. Desperately trying to teach me how it's done. The boys rode the short course (Cat 3) and had a total ball. They learned a bit about pushy people and nasty un-sportsman like attitudes. One kid told Alex to F-Off when he asked to

pass. Alex replied by passing his butt and dusting him but good. He handled it more maturely than I would for sure. Alex is too cool to wear bike shorts and his butt is paying the price but he said it was worth it because he had no intention of wearing those diaper shorts (his words). Bill had a great ride on the long course but took a bad endo onto a boulder. he's fine but beat up. He loves his new bike!

The next day I had a 10 mile run. It was a rough go. I was low on food for 2 days and felt it. I'm trying to drop a couple of lbs and my body is adjusting to having to consume some of itself. Next up is a 6 hour ride on Saturday and long run on Sunday. With only 4 weeks to go before the first Leadwoman event it's packed from here on out.

Loading up!

2011-05-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

Loading the bikes up for another MTB race! I am actually excited. A definite shift from the "oh crap" attitude. My bike and I are getting along nicely. We have been working on our relationship a lot lately. Mostly I am to blame for not trusting her. Together we have bettered our time on both hills and rolling terrain. My brakes are getting a reprieve from the constant death grip. This Sunday is the Sisters Stampede. A 28 mile single track race. This should be an interesting test. Can I hold my ground and not steer myself right into a ponderosa pine. Bill has his new bike and it is nothing short of amazing. He's seems completely confident that he can ride it without incident. I think he's probably right since he doesn't flinch at corners, hills, rocks or speed. Hoping Alex will get the itch and ride the Cat 3 course (short version). We will work on him and his buddy on Saturday while out there.

Running has been coming along nicely as well. Ran 6 hours in the Gorge last weekend and beat my 4/2/11 time by over 20 minutes. That was exciting. Progress is always a motivator. Maybe the tent is giving that cape I have been waiting for. Erin and Micheal trotted along ahead which was a nice pull. I love chasing friends. It would have been nice if they would have shown a slight bit of fatigue!

I am now sleeping soundly at 9,000 feet wondering if this tent is really working! My cat and I sleep really well in there. On Monday I will set it 10,000. I had a negative split run last week and noticed a bit more uptake. My pace wasn't faster. Mostly because my legs were fried from other workouts but it did feel easier. My heart rate was about 7 beats lower for the pace I was generating. I joked with Bill. If this tent works we should make our whole bedroom an oxygen tent. He looked at me as if I might be serious. A long pause waiting to determine if I was joking.

The Lion Sleeps Tonight...

2011-05-20T08:44:00.001-07:00

Sleeping is my strong suit. I can sleep anywhere. I am not a napper but I basically have two modes, On or Off. I was never one of those kids that stayed up late. As an adult I still sleep a ton. When Bill and I met he was concerned that I might sleep too much. Even when stressed I can sleep like a baby. I average around 9 hours a night sometimes getting even 11! So when the Altitude tent went up I wondered how it would impact my beauty rest.

I can safely say I am still out like a light. In fact, that thing makes me sleep in a coma! Bill woke up yelling at me. Wondering if I had died. I have also been dreaming relentlessly and when I have to go to the bathroom it's a chore to drag myself out of sleep.

We snaked all the tubes in through a small window of our bedroom. The noisy compressor is outside the door. I can't even hear it. The tube that sucks out the air inside the tent and replaces it with less oxygenated air sounds like a heavy breather. No louder than my cat who refuses to get out of the tent! I actually got worried about him. He loves that thing and sleeps like a dead animal in it. I shook him wildly one night just to be sure he was still alive. Alex searched the web to be sure it was safe for animals :).

So far I have been in it 6 nights and am sleeping at 7500 feet. I will move it to 8500 on Sunday after my 6 hour Gorge run this weekend. Besides the coma like sleeping I have noticed a bit of loopyness. Seems I think everything is really funny right now and am busting myself up constantly. Also, my recovery from some weight sessions has not been as quick as it usually is. I have also dropped a bit over a pound in one week. I think that might be water from the frequent bathroom visits. On the forth night I had a mild headache while reading inside it. I don't know if any of this is related to the thin air sleeping but those are some things I am noticing.

Bill and I made a pact when we got married to never purposely sleep apart. The only time we sleep apart is when one of us is out of town. I was feeling really guilty about this but Bill's travel schedule is sort of intense right now. While I am over there feeling guilty he is perched happily in the center of our king sized bed seeming to be in heaven!

Digging out of the mud

2011-05-17T18:43:00.001-07:00

Is a mouth guard necessary for mountain biking? I think it might be a good idea. One good long decent on a very gravel road left my mouth chattering like one of those weird mouth toys. You know the ones that are an exaggerated replica of a mouth. You turn it on and it chatters wildly. 6 miles straight down dropping 3000 feet on a gravel that is more like small rocks wakes up the body. Butt perched way back behind the seat with my hands firmly gripping the handlebars I tried to let myself fly. Reaching speeds of 25 MPH on this decent is pretty good but it wasn't stress free. My eyes didn't blink for fear of hitting an unseen dip or large boulder. My arms were completely itching when I reached the bottom. The cheese grater terrain made my entire body shake rapidly causing this intense itching sensation. It Made me wonder what are bodies go through when we descend on foot. The impact of every step is resonating through our bodies but we rarely feel it. That's really cool. Our bodies can absorb so much. I think I will be nicer to myself after a big run.

This descent didn't come for free. I had to ride up in order to experience the downhill itch. This was my first trip to the Gorge with my bike. A 5+ mile straight up climb and I rode 80% of it. The other 20% was a dismounted hike. Hiking with a bike is slow and not so fun. The bike shoes have that forced heal drop and my calves were screaming. The intense ache was making want to remount! Never thought I would say that! My heart rate was screaming in the threshold range. It felt like it was going to jump right out of my body as I pedaled with all my might and speed. While running this feeling is drowned out by the movement and the impact. I can't hear or feel the intense beating even during hill repeats but on the bike it's loud.

I am officially pretty good at remounting on hill. A learned skill for sure. Getting the gearing just right and quickly clipping in with one foot. Then applying enough force to get your butt up and your other foot clipped. All the while not catching your butt or bike pad on the seat!

This last week was a good recovery from Miwok. After a short and well needed vacation it was all bike. One short run but all the other days were long biking sessions. Each had their own goal. Once cornering session. Learning and practicing how to power in and out of corners. This was fun and a good mental exercise. The 2 hour session really helped my legs recover. I woke the next day feeling so much better. I had one long 3.5 hour session of hill climbing. I took on the Gorge and was surprised as how much power I had for the climb. This was a nice confidence builder with regards to Leadville. The next day I got a 2.5 hour recovery ride on trails. Bill and I headed to Silver Falls on probably one of the worst weather days. 45 degrees and rain. I was in a pouty mood on the way out. The cold wet weather was going to bite and who knows how bad the trails would be.

When we arrived I was reluctant. I voiced my dislike of the weather and Bill said, "Let's do this". So much great support but I think he really just wanted to play in the mud. That's exactly what we did! The trails were horribly muddy and wet. Choosing a line was easy. Just follow the water runoff. That was the best place to ride albeit wet. This was hilarious. The mud so deep we would have to bonsai with a "no guts no glory" attitude to get through the 8 inch mud. Our other choice was to dismount and walk but there was no place to put your feet so you would sink down anyway. Might as well make a charge at it. Bill cracked me up! We were soaked, full of mud, clods in my hair, mud up our butts and back, crank shaft caked with dirt and our shoes were mud boots. We didn't have to compete with other bikes or people because all of them were smart enough to stay home. With the conditions as they were climbing the trails was work. Descending was great skill building. I am ready to run again but this MTBing is some of the best recovery I can come up with.

Time is flying and find myself getting a bit stressed. Sophie commented, "keep your eye on the prize". That was welcomed advice. This is when it gets hard. The Leadwoman events are inching closer and time is ticking. I am beginning to wonder why I do this stuff! My words yesterday to Bill were and excuse the language but it's a good indicator of how I was feeling. I said, "Sometimes this perseverance crap I have gets old"! He busted up. I didn't find his reaction amusing and needed clarification because I was serious. It would be so much easier to say, "I'm out, let's go to the beach". We had a small discussion where I expressed my frustration. Basically I was and may still be having a moment. A moment where I wonder if this is worth it. He asked me a good question, "Ronda, worth what"? I gave him the list, time, sacrifices, the frustration (on days when it's cold and horrible), the self doubt, fatigue, etc. I laid it all out. He said it's worth every bit of it because it's who you are. He said, "Anything worth achieving is hard". He's right. Every time I ponder the idea of NOT finishing what I started I get edgy and unsettled. I feel weak and worthless. Although, there is a piece of me that would like to be lazy. So, this is where this perseverance crap comes in handy I suppose. An old friend once told me, "Keep swimming upstream". So like a salmon I am going to continue to swim upstream. I am not looking for any sympathy. I just thought I would express what goes on in my mind when I feel down and unmotivated. Sometimes I wonder if I go here mentally as a distraction from the hard work. Ruminating in self doubt. It's easier to say it's not worth it and why. Quitting is the "right" thing to do and is certainly tempting at times like these. Those "outs" as I call them are legitimate. I have obligations as a wife, mother and friend. All the obligations are exactly what I want. They are not forced on me. I want to be a great wife and mom and good friend too. I don't want to miss out on anything. I don't want my family to sacrifice their time, I don't want to prevent them from doing anything because I have to train, I don't want to miss out any coffee dates or long runs with friends. I want have my house clean and tidy. I want to cook fresh meals and feed my family well. Balance perfectly the things I cherrish so it all works. Sometimes it would be easier if someone would say you "can't do this". However, all those wonderful obligations won't cut me any slack. They stare right back at me and say, in much nicer words, get your butt back on the trail or on that bike. Laura Kantor posted a statement on her facebook the other day. It talked about living in the moment and being present. I don't do that much. I am planner, a linear thinker, a cause and effect type. Always concerned with the future. I don't necessary like surprises or unforeseen circumstances. Go with the flow is not how I roll. J I don't think things happen for a reason we create them. However, the statement she posted came at a time when I needed to read it. I need to stop thinking about June, July and August. I need to start being present and engaged in the work right in front of me. Hopefully this will be the last whining post but I can't guarantee anything.

Thank You!

2011-05-13T14:35:00.000-07:00

All your comments disappeared on my Miwok report. I want you to know I read them and posted them. Thanks for all the nice and most certainly motivating thoughts. I appreciate it.

Ronda

Not everything is cake and ice cream!

2011-05-11T11:57:00.000-07:00

(photo by: Jean Pommier)

Full of mixed emotions about Miwok leaves me sort of blank. I am generally well intentioned when it comes to running. Be it to push myself or simply enjoy the day I have a plan and do a pretty good job playing it out. Leading up to Miwok I was tired. Ready for the short taper hoping it would leave my legs fresh. More importantly I hoped I would get fired up. Miwok is one of my favorite courses. It offers all the things I love about ultra running. The scenery speaks for itself and the trails are awesome. It's brutally touch with its 11,000 feet of climbing and descending. I like the mix of trails and gravel roads. I love the out and back section where I get to see all the front runners pushing and pursuing their day. It showcases the camaraderie in this sport that's unbeatable. Finally, I love the feel of Miwok.

The week leading up to race I began to feel some energy coming back. I happily reported that to Matt. My legs had some spring during a couple of my short runs and my overall posture began to return. No more slumped and wilted. I have come to embrace the fact that my butt is never NOT sore. The MTBing is really firing up my glutes especially the medius. This is a welcomed addition. My medius has generally been a weak muscle but I can now say it's stronger. With that growth is soreness and I have not get been able to get ahead of it. The benefits outweigh the discomfort. The additional strength is making me a better runner with a nicer gate. Let's face it though, being sore and running 100K makes you more sore.

Covered in Ivy Block in the darkness ready to hit the beach and begin this journey I was disturbingly at ease. I made a rough pace chart so Bill and Nico would know when to expect me. My main goal for the day was to stay on course. I am 4 for 4 at taking a wrong turn at Miwok and it's well marked. I wanted to keep a close eye on ribbons and not follow anyone blindly. Also, I wanted to run strong on the back half. I had no idea what to expect with regards to my pace. However, I wanted to not go over 12 hours.

The beach start is unique but bogs up with people as they make their way onto the single track. It took me almost 5 minutes before I could get onto the trail. I am blaming my 12:04 finish time on that! As the race began I felt really strong on the climbs. My uphill running has started to

benefit from my ever growing glutes, ha, ha. I kept it to a dull roar as the road began the steep and long ascent. It was the perfect temperature but the wind was a bit much at times. There was the occasional wind gust from behind and I milked it for the whole 5 seconds. The headwinds came more often and weren't nearly as fun. I arrived at Tennessee late and Bill let me know. I gave him a glance of disapproval. I didn't care, didn't he know that? I left with no real intention except to continue running by feel. On my way to Pantoll I had a good time chatting with runners. I wasn't focused at all but the occasional glance down at my garmin would reveal a 18 min pace! Crap! I would run then find myself again caught up in conversation and generally enjoying myself and the view. The sun was awesome! I fell in love once again with at area. I think I could live there. Arriving at Pantoll I got a very calm non expressional welcome from Bill and Nico. Perplexed by their lack of emotion I pulled my pace chart of my pack and looked at my time. I was horrified when I found out I was 35 minutes behind my plan. I had taken my run by feel approach too far. I am a total comfort runner by nature. I am also and experience junkie. I like to take in people, things, ideas, views and thoughts. I lose myself almost always in the experience. I wouldn't trade this approach for anything because of the enriching nature it has brought to my life. But, there comes a point when the experience falls off the curve. Being this laissez-fair does not yield the desired experience. Right after Pantoll is where the "run by feel" experience starting taking a nose dive. It was like I suddenly went from a leisurely coffee date with friends to being late for a really important date.

At this point (mile 20) I wasn't sure what to do. Emotions, mostly negative "you suck" ones took over. I moved a bit faster but was more focused on trying to determine how this happened. After my pit stop at Bolinas (mile 27) I decided to get over it and make a choice. There was two ways this could go. I could just continue at this pace and finish really late or I could not pull my

head out, focus and make the best of it. I chose door number 2 because I knew I would not be at all pleased with the outcome if I chose door number 1. The experience junkie would need rehab.

I was already sore. In fact by mile 10 my hips were tightening. This may have been part of the reason I was so blah at the beginning. Subconsciously I may have been trying to preserve my glutes. But, that is not the way it works. If it's sore early it's going to get more sore, then you deal with it, shut it out, move on to something else like your feet or whatever might hurt.

My decision to take door number 2 and push was the right one but it was hard. I ran well from that point on. Pushing really hard on the second half. I arrived at mile 34 at 6:50 ish. Making 12 hours was going to be a stretch. 29 more miles. Bill ran with me from Bolinas (mile 41) to Tennessee (mile 57.6) which was really fun but I dropped him about 2 miles before Tennessee. I had mixed feelings about that. Celebrating our 17 wedding anniversary on the trail was great. He waved me to go and when I stopped he yelled at me to leave. So like a loving wife

I did what I was told J. On the way into Tennessee I was halted by the awesome sight of a bobcat. He was just strolling down the road without a care in the world. That was pretty cool. Bill got a picture of it.

I left Tennesee in a hurry and anxious to be done and on my way to Napa with Bill for vacation. I tried my hardest to get under 12 but fell short by 4 minutes. Post race my legs were sore! Super sore! I don't know why I feel like I shouldn't be sore. A total screwed sense of reality I suppose. Overall, I loved the new course but climbing out of Pirates Cove near the end is not easy! At least it wasn't for me.

Post race vacation was great. Bill and I spent 3 days in Napa Valley. I was not big wine drinker though. Just could 't enjoy much wine after Miwok. My taste buds were rejecting it.

That's probably the internal governor saying, "You don't need to be any more dehydrated". We walked around a lot which helped my sausage feet and was good recovery. Most of all we got to spend time together with no interruptions or responsibilities. However, Alex called us several time wanting to know when we were coming home. Home now and back at it. Next up is a 30 mile MTB race in Sisters. Bill will be racing on his anniversary present so I am excited to see how he likes it.

Da bomber!

2011-04-25T08:27:00.000-07:00

You know that post run leg jolting? Just as you're about to fall into a deep sleep your legs jolt so hard it wakes you up. They twitch and move but the bad ones come when your mind wonders back to the trail. In your dream you clip a rock. You never fall because you jolt wildly. Sometimes it's so bad your legs go straight up in the air. This is maddening. After and long grueling race all you want to do is rest. Sometimes the jolts are so bad I wonder if I am going to strain an already tired muscle. After Hardrock 100M I laid down to sleep. I was tired and my body was beat. Instead of resting I kept reliving the glorious day and night in those mountains. However during my reenactment I kept tripping and almost falling causing the most intense jolts. Some of them almost hurt. Poor Bill was getting a good beating. I couldn't take it anymore.

In my dream I was desperately trying to not fall, trip or stumble. It wasn't working. After I don't know how many jolts I decided to try to embrace the stumbles. Instead of trying to stay upright, which would cause the muscle contraction I would pretend I could fly. Kind of like the commercials you see on TV where the guy jumps high in the air and lands perfectly, parkour. Instead of jumping I wanted to fly so that's the imagery I created. Now instead of being anxious and trying not to fall I would invite it and fly a good distance before I would touch down again. This worked! No more jolting and I was sleeping. Of course I was still engaged in a wild dream session but now I had wings. I have used this every since and it works every time. A good post run sleep, ah.

Last week I had several conversations about mountain biking. Mostly with people who are good MTBers. As we talked I heard myself say, "I suck at the downhill's" a lot. This is not a lie but I suck at the uphill's too. The difference is I am not afraid of climbing but I was afraid of descending. My lack of talent is a fact. However if I don't change the way I ride downhill I will not make the cutoff for the Leadville 100M ride. The math just won't work. I need to attack the downs and the flats aggressively because no matter how good I get on the climbs I still won't

make it. I left the last conversation pissed off. Pissed at myself because I realized at that very moment that I am creating and

manifesting my own destiny. That last conversation was Thursday. Friday morning came and I announced to Bill that I decided I am going to own the downhill's. If you know Bill or have read this blog for any length of time you have a grasp of his personality. He is calm and confident. While I am loud and expressive. I was going on and on about how I plan to change my perspective, blah, blah, blah. He stands there getting ready for work and just says, "Honey you know what you need to do and if you're afraid it's not going to get any better because you will never push yourself. You know this better than anyone". From that point on I decided I love the downhill's. My bike eats rocks for lunch and if I have enough momentum it will roll over anything. I was done saying, "I suck at the downhills"! I am now a bomber in my mind.

I can fly down anything. Bring on Sugarloaf Pass!

Saturday was the Peak Sports Mudslinger XC MTB race in Blodgett Or. 21.8 miles and a profile that looks like this. 3,800 feet of climb with lots of slick muddy stuff to practice my new attitude.

This would be my second MTB race ever. Old Pueblo 24hr was my first but it was flat compared to this baby. Bill, Micheal and I headed down and on the most beautiful day Oregon has seen and we raced. It was a mass start with over 300+ riders and I put myself nicely in the back of the pack. The climb right of the gate was fine but got my heart singing. Climbing on a bike is hard. It makes running uphill seem like cake. Mathematically that makes total sense, right? You have to power not only yourself but your bike up. Once again I carried way too much stuff. I now realize that is a huge mistake and will carry much less of load next time. The course climbed on a mountain gravel road then took a trail to another gravel road. It would repeat this pattern many times with the trail sections being steep descents to another gravel road. The trails were muddy! Many times you were just sliding while performing your best balancing act to keep the bike from slipping right out from under you. The climbs were brutal and I had to walk my bike up one steep section but I rode everything else up and down. I owned the single track. I clocked over 10 MPH on one section. The rest I was too busy weaving around trees to look. One section was so steep and twisty I found myself balancing on a root while hanging on to a tree. Then I hear from below, "Let go and ride, it's a great picture". The photographer was below so I had to ride now. The course reminded me of McDonald Forest 50K. I was a back of pack finisher and at one time I raced a 12 year old and took pride that I could out climb him. It's the small victories. I think I was maybe in the last 15 riders to come across the line. It took me 3:12. Bill came rolling in with a stuffed bunny in his pack. They hid eggs and bunnies on the course and you got a prize if you found one.

Leave it to Bill to get a bunny. It was awesome. Now here's the amazing part. I rode my ass off! I pushed my heart rate so hard on the climbs it reached 176 and never came below 165! I was working so hard my eyes rolled in the back of my head, you know the feeling. I rode the downs fast reaching speeds of 25 MPH on open sections. I toppled only once. I still came in close to last. There were barely any woman riding and the ones who were have quads the size of my body! To top it off among the woman I am OLD! These are strong athletes. The men who were in the top ranks have legs so huge they make bodybuilders look like they need to hit the squat rack. These are serious athletes, no doubt in my mind. Once again I was very inspired.

Afterwards I was spent! My body was like a wet noodle. I was scheduled to run a 1:10 negative split run right afterwards but I had to bail. I just couldn't do it. Of course now I wonder but I had 4 hours the next day (Sunday) with some M-Pace effort. When I finished I was seriously curious how that was going to go. Sunday I got up at 5 am and Bill drove me out to Newberry and I ran the trails back to Lief where he picked me up. It was rough start but I got a groove going and did a fairly good job. What I noticed was interesting. My body was fine but my cardio system was taxed. I had a hard time getting things rolling there. I got 4 hours to do a lot of thinking and have realized I love MTBing. Saturday really helped me graduate from a gravel road rider to a mountain rider. I have lots of work to do but am loving the challenge. I truly suck at the sport but love that drive and frustration. It's uncomfortable. And, my goal is to not be passed by any woman on a single speed! Come on, really. I just want one of those chicks to move in with me so I can pick her brain. However impressed I am with their strength and ability I am not sure I want quads that size. I don't think you can have one without the other but then there's Lance. ;)

I am just about to finish up a serious block of training. It's been a tough hard block this last 4 weeks but I can feel the changes. My running miles are in the 60-70 range and my biking is about 6 hours a week. Most of my runs include some quality. I am loving it but ready for a break which I get next week leading into Miwok 100K. As the Leadwoman events get closer (starting July 3) I am getting more focused. Now that I am a MTB bomber in my mind things are looking up!

Peterson Ridge Rumble!

2011-04-13T16:43:00.000-07:00

Peterson Ridge Rumble did not disappoint. In pure ultra runner style Sean puts on a fabulous race filled with lots of happy people on some great trails. I had a great weekend in Sisters. The whole family took part in the dry sport filled adventure. There were many highlights but these are best of the weekend.

Packing: Fitting 4 sports and 4 adult sized people in one car is an event all its own. Skiing, snowboarding, running and mountain biking requires a lot gear! We got it all in and it was some Bill's best work. The man can pack!

Mountain Biking: We rode the course on Saturday. I cut off early while Micheal and Drake continued on the final loop of the 40 mile course. I didn't think there were any rocks on the course but for some reason things are just different when you're on bike. I can't wait for the day I can get on that thing and own it. I am still incredibly nervous. Rocks are not fun to fall on! I toppled a couple of times and on my first fall the end of my seat jammed itself into my glute. It hurt bad and stung for a good long time. Somehow I ended up with 2 nice bruises on my right quad. I had to carry my bike up and over the rocky hill. Once off I couldn't bring myself to remount. That just leaves me so frustrated! The highlight was being warm! It was awesome. We had to shed layers right away. That has to be a first! Also, my bike was not full of mud! That made me want to ride more.

Visiting: I loved seeing all the great ultra runners. I so much enjoyed getting caught up with so many as they pulled into the Best Western in Sisters. Smiles, hugs and good stories.

Dry: Seems simple but not running in wet weather was really refreshing and I actually got a bit of sun on my cheeks. My shoes didn’t have dirt clods inside and my hands weren't blue. That was just the icing on the cake of a spectacular day.

Alex: He spent the day volunteering. Handing out socks and pigs ears seemed to keep him busy and entertained. He told us endless dog stories. He's a true animal lover. However, he must have been told at least 4 times, "Last time I saw you your mom was pushing you around in a stroller" or "How on earth did you come out of her". Poor kid. All he cared about was if I dressed him appropriately in that stroller. When we told him he would only wear a diaper he was horrified! Of course we were kidding. Then in true teenage fashion he says, "You guys are old because I was under 2 years old". Thanks Alex!

The Run: I had a great run. Went out easy fearing the worst and picked up the pace section by section. I felt incredibly strong. For the first time this year I felt like a runner. My mile pace for the 40 was a few seconds slower than last years. I was really pleased because I was gearing up for Bighorn 100M then. The best part of the run was catching up to Bill who was running the 20M. I got to run about 3 miles with him before I had to take the split. We had a ball putting on our own concert. Cueing up the Black Eyed Peas, Just Can't Get Enough. I do Fergie and he does Will I Am and the other guy. I sing in my perfected Fergie voice, "Boy I think about it every night and day, I'm addicted wanna jump inside your love, I wouldn't have it any other way, I'm addicted and I just can't get enough. Then he sings, "I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough, Girl we could form a team and I could be the king you could be the queen and my mind's dirty and don't need cleanin I love you long time so you know the meanin." We've got this song down. It was a blast but Bill really needs to work on his rap. Alex wants to hide when we get our Black Eyed Peas on but he can't help by try to improve his dads beat. Then we came to the split where Bill heads for his finish and I split off to do the last loops. He says, "This Is Mega

Switch Up, go get em honey! Our concert was over but that got me fired up to work hard for the final 15.

Recovery: If my recovery from the Gorge 50K was rated I would give it a 2. I was beat up and wiped. I rate my Peterson Ridge Recovery a 9. I feel great and only a bit sore in the hamstrings. Mountain biking makes my hamstring sing so the Saturday ride made them ripe for the run.

Just a great time. Coming home filled up and energized. Sean has created a sock monster in Alex. He loves his Peterson Ridge socks. His size 15 feet fit perfectly in those socks. I told him I cannot wash socks alone and he can't wear them everyday unwashed ;)

See ya in Sisters!

2011-04-07T17:33:00.000-07:00

I think I am ready to get my butt kicked this weekend! Peterson Ridge Rumble 40M race on Sunday after a good solid MTB ride the day before. I am not even going to try to fool myself into thinking I won't suffer. I suspect this will be a good one. Last year the race was hard since it came at the end of a peak week of training but I was gearing up for Bighorn 100M and had much better running legs than I do right now. So be it! I am just hoping I won't get my ass handed to me so bad I can't move afterwards. It's going to be a great weekend with family and friends. A bunch of us are mountain biking the day before while Bill, Alex and Drakes family ski. Carrie, Micheal, Drake, Jim and I are doing the 40M while Bill and Kris do the 20M. The weather calls for sun! I am excited for the whole weekend.

The last couple weeks post head bang have been interesting. I was really having some icky post concussion symptoms. The nausea, dizziness and headaches were bad but the spaced out wierdness was horrible. I literally would be stopped mid-conversation by intense nausea, ringing ears and minutes later I would be out of it. Then the headache would start and it was awful. I have never had a migraine and I am most certain I never want one. I looked like I had been hit by truck the next day. After a visit to the doctor because I thought I was going crazy he said I had Post Concussion Syndrome. I told him I don't do syndromes so exactly how long is this going to last. When he said 3-6 months at best I almost punched him but was reduced to tears instead. I called Bill crying like a blubbering baby. Since that happens infrequently he tried to cancel his meetings and come home but assured him I would be fine and just needed to cry. Poor man. I had a good solid day of pity and then moved on. It was time to get over it. The doctor said the best thing I could do was minimize the duration of an episode by removing myself from all stimulus. Basically powering down. So that's what I did. Since Saturday I have only had one small episode. The minor headache still comes and goes but it's not a big deal. Note to self and everyone else: Don't hit your head on anything! It's not good. Plus, the lack of clarity in the synapse makes downhill running slow and weird. I have been able to do all my workouts and in fact they have gone very well. What I noticed is the episodes would come about 30 minutes post workout. Generally I run around like a crazy woman during the day but instead I would have to come straight home. I found it was the only way to minimize the episode. It was like my brain needed to be still. This of course led to deep thoughts about choices, adaption and labels. How we get through things, how we think about ourselves and the labels we use to define ourselves. I guess my brain will just not shut down completely. Anyway, all is good and thank you to everyone who has helped me, spent time with me and worried about me.

Bang!

2011-03-29T13:15:00.001-07:00

My build phase started out with a bang. A bang in the head that is. I posted about my poor after race care in my last entry. Since the Waterfalls 50K was "C" level race I wasn't supposed to need much recovery so the following week I had some significant workouts. My fluids were really off all week. My legs were swollen, my energy was low and my face looked a bit puffy too. I tried to catch up and did really well with water intake but left the electrolytes in the container. Not smart. The Friday following the race I had a 4 hour ride which I chose to do indoors. I just couldn't bare another frozen ride. I did a solid workout and was sweating a lot. I generally don't generate a lot of perspiration but I have never rode that long and that hard indoors. Saturday morning I got on plane headed to Park City. I felt pretty miserable. I had low energy, sluggish and just tired. By Saturday night I was really feeling sick. I thought I might be getting Alex's flu. At 2:30 a.m. I got up thinking I was going to be sick but instead I fainted and bashed my head on the granite tub. It was a pretty ugly scene from what I've been told. Blood coming out my ear, nose, mouth and my head on my left side. I went down pretty hard. That created a firestorm of drama but in the end it was a due mostly to my non-existent potassium levels. I was basically dehydrated. The crash got me a concussion, 3 liters of fluids, more tests that anyone would need and pretty decent lecture which I deserved. My BP wouldn't go above 62/32 for 2 hours so I was pretty out of it. I had been drinking plenty of water since I measure it like a weirdo. However I wasn't supplementing for electrolyte loss from the race and then the long ride. I felt so bad for my family and was incredibly embarrassed. Bill was freaked and Alex had to witness this too. I felt horrible all week. Like my brain and my synapses were not functioning plus I had one hell of headache. I guess a concussion can make you feel weird. What a way to start a vacation. No skiing for me! No running or anything for 2 days. They barely wanted me to drive. Being at 8,000 feet didn't help matters either. The gash on my head is a little over a week old here and it looks pretty good.

Matt gave me some doable workouts but it wasn't until the weekend where I got really see how I felt. I had my first big back to back run weekend. We did a Forest Park run then a good Gorge run. I felt better on Sunday than I did on Saturday.

All in all I am lucky this is all I got for my mistake. I don't like to admit when I feel terrible. The race took more out me than I gave it credit for and I certainly took my body for granted. Bill said this, "Your stubborn and tough as nails but your fragile too". I wasn't sure how I feel about that statement. :) Peterson Ridge 40M is in 2 weeks. I am MTBing the course the day before. I will certainly be much more diligent in my post session care. I have a feeling it will be a tough weekend but fun too.

Mis-Match!

2011-03-16T13:45:00.001-07:00

For all the amazing photos on this page see: http://www.runeatswim.blogspot.com/

By Candice Burt

Gorge legs don't come easy. The Gorge Waterfalls 50K took place this last Saturday. James put on a stellar event. Connecting the 400 trail for 27+ miles with some great views of the well known waterfalls that drape the Columbia River Gorge. This is my summer training ground and I have run the 400 lots but only in sections. Never the full enchilada at once. It was quite a treat to run it in this

fashion. Knowing the Gorge like I do I knew I would be suffering greatly on Saturday. I've had no training for the constant eccentric loading my quads would experience, not enough trail time or long runs.

My plan was to go easy for the first 15-20 miles and if I was still standing and moving without a grimace I would pick up the pace. I had two goals for Saturday. First, a long day on my legs and second, to come away with heightened desire to begin pushing myself in this next phase. I got both plus a bonus. My prize for the day was some seriously sore quads!

I showed up with a pack that was more suited for Hardrock. I had everything I needed to stay warm and so much food you would have thought I was going to be out there for more than a day. My pack weighed 7+ pounds. Is that really necessary? Uh, no! I am still suffering from Post AZ Free Fest Syndrome. The thought of experiencing any cold was more than I could take. I had a 60 oz tanker, a jacket, beenie, extra gloves (just in case the ones I was wearing got too wet), hand warmers, 9 gels, sports drinks (in a baggie), 2 bars and so much other stupid stuff I won't even list it. I am seriously not in race mode and what a big baby!

The race started with the immediate climb up Wahkeena Falls. I have done this so many times I can count the poison oak leaves poking out of the rock wall. It's a nice gradual but a

relentless grade. I was in the middle/back of the pack. Lots of folks were in a big hurry. The fast runners were cruising quickly up the hill. I walked and jogged. For me this climb would not be the issue. I felt this to be a nice warm up for the rolling single track grind that I knew was coming…..all day long. I must have heard the phrase, "This is the only real climb then the rest is pretty flat" 20 times. I suppose everyone has their version of flat but the word flat and Gorge don't go together. I don't care if you are talking about the 400 trail. It became clear that many amongst me were underestimating the difficulty of the coming trail. One group of ladies who were in such a hurry going up Wahkeena asked to pass because in their words were "racing". I gladly moved aside and walked behind them as they jogged and walked breathless up the hill. When we came to the first tiny water flow over the trail I hear, "Don't get your feet wet". After watching them tip toe over rocks, weave and jump over obstacles I decided I needed to go. I hope they made it and would love to have coffee with them because after this they are either all in or all out.

We were treated to almost all the best waterfalls the Gorge has to offer. The best was the one deep behind Oneanta where we got completed soaked by the impressive spray. My body felt strong but super slow. Technical trail running takes practice and by mile 15 I was getting my feet back under me. The up, down, twisting and weaving was hard on my legs but I seriously could feel them adjusting as the day progressed. By the time we reached Eagle Creek (mile 20) I felt amazing. At this point I knew I wasn't going to crumble into a hobbling weeble wobble so I felt I could move with some purpose. I can't even remember how long it took me to arrive at 20 miles but it was long time!

I ran the last 10+ miles faster than an of the previous miles according to my Garmin (it helped that half of it was downhill). The best part of the day was when I came to the junction of the PCT heading up to the first clearing. Our stash spot for hill repeats. Olga!, you would have loved it! Coming to the junction gave me goose bumps! Goal number 2 has been achieved! I am pumped for what I know is coming and what a way to get my Gorge legs on. A full day of it. This is a must do race and I suspect it will fill in minutes next year.

Post race has been a suffer fest unlike any I would have imagined. My quads are so thrashed it's a joke. I deserved it though. I ate terrible, slept terrible and that stuff called water didn't make it into my mouth. How I felt during and right after the race does not at all match up to how I've felt the last 3 days. I had runs or rides every single day and that might have been the only thing that saved me. However, I must have had the most awful grimace on my face or my gate was so tight because I got some, "Are you Ok", questions. I swear the legs attached to my body do not belong to me! They are so under water it's hard to look at but worse they have no intention of functioning properly. This was certainly a good reminder that post race process is important for me. I muscled/suffered/grimaced through all my planned workouts including a plyo workout today. Not sure if this was good or bad but it's done. I only had one or two instances of buckling. Ya know, when you hop out the car and expect your legs to contract and support you. Almost went down.

The next phase!

2011-03-07T14:22:00.000-08:00

Seems like my Base Building phase is coming to a close. Next up the Build phase. This is my absolute favorite part of the training cycle. A lot meat in the part of training. Lots of gains and a lot mental shifts. I love this phase most because changes in my strength and speed start to show. They become measurable! I love numbers and data. It never lies and there is very little emotion in data. Since my personality caters to more intense environments it would seem the Peak phase would suit me. However, I have not been able to tap into a good zone with that yet but I have a love affair with the Build phase.

Old Pueblo left me fairly unscathed physically. In what now seems like a premature insecure fashion I sent Matt a mail saying I was concerned about how slow I am running. The loss of speed is hard for me swallow. Since I have no natural speed that is and always will be my weakness. Any speed I have has been well earned. I have found myself to be so slow it's hard for me to get my own head around it. Completely normal for someone embarking on a shift to multi sport. Even though common sense would tell me the shift to multi sport means a sacrifice in one my refusal to accept it is firm. I simply am not yet willing to give into the notion I will be a slower runner. My expectation is to become stronger and maybe even slightly faster. I see that preteen determined kid who refuses to take no for an answer. This stubbornness is a core piece of my being. Sometimes this serves me well and sometimes not. Nothing new there. Since I can feel this angst brewing I know I will be treading on a tight rope with training. I have never been great at calling "uncle" to workouts and peeling back when needed. I will have to watch myself carefully here. It will be an interesting self exploration.

When I do come out of the clouds I realize it's only just March and I have a lot work to do before I should be whining to my coach. Sometimes I just need to be talked off the ledge. Talked out my own head. Sometimes words aren't enough and maybe coaches realize that so like any good leader they take action. This last two weeks I've gotten run workouts that make me sweat! Workouts that beg the question, "Are you sure"? Before you know it you've done it and you walk away with less doubt.

Old Pueblo 24Hr MTB Race

2011-02-22T15:53:00.001-08:00

I definitely got shaken, rattled and I rolled a few times. What a complete mind bender. The Old Pueblo 24 Hour Ride was like woodstock with wheels. Snuggled up against the mountains of Tucson, AZ was a sea of white. The RV's, tents, vendor booths and the big circus style white timing tent was so massive you could see it from 10 miles away. As we drove in on the long dirt road a news helicopter buzzed overhead. In our compact rental car we showed some of our best handling skills of the weekend. The deeply rutted roads surrounding the town gave our low clearance car a rough time. Let's just say we got our money's worth. We were like kids at the fair making over to Kris and Chester's camp ground. Phrases like, "Hey look at that", "Wow, check out all those bikes", "Awesome, their camp site rocks", "Holy shit look at that rock drop off" came pouring out of our mouths. The streets were lined with mountain bikers, their gear, racks of sweet bikes and some funny decorations. We had arrived at 24 Hour Town and we were in for the ride of our lives.

Keeping it real we arrived like 3 suburban middle aged yahoos. No doubt we looked out of place in our small car that shouldn't be driving over rocks that size, dressed in nice clothes, fresh smiles and massive amounts of gear packed perfectly. We got a few strange looks making our way through the streets. Maybe they were wondering where we had our bikes? 24 hour town was already a day old and many were already getting their mountain bike on. Kris and Chester who are religious Old Pueblo riders know exactly where to set up camp. Apparently it's a mad dash for the best trail side sites close to the check point. This was serious business! Everyone had taped out their space in the desert. Kris and Chester had secured the perfect spot. We are so grateful for Kris and Chester's hospitality. We set up our tents unloaded a few things then went back to Micheal's parents home which was our campsite. 24 hour town was awesome and looked like a ton of fun but I think I am too old to spend 5 days dry camping. Micheal's parents home is in the hills of Tucson. We couldn't have gotten any closer.

Friday was the pre-ride. We headed out early to hang out with Kris and gang. Our bikes were being delivered at 1PM. The race was mostly a side note at this point. I'm pretty sure I was still in shock. Being at this venue was seriously amazing. The level of athlete was astonishing and watching them practice was fun. The three of us wanted to soak up the experience and get a

feel for the community. I was deep in observation mode.

Our bikes arrived perfectly! So far, everything was coming together. The only issue was the pending forecast. It called for clouds and rain but what does that really mean in the desert? I wasn't nervous until the pre-ride when it became clear I would forever be changed.

Once we had our bikes were immediately off to check out the course. Kris, Chester, Chris, Micheal and I headed out while Susan did her long run. Cruising down the dirt road was just fine. Then we came to "The Bitches". This is the description of a section that has 5 large hills. These are steep and the transfer from one Bitch to the next is about 3 feet so you better be prepared. The speed gained on the steep, rocky, and slightly rutted descent in more than I ever want. I was a mess. Chester says, "This is where you want to gain as much speed as possible so you can get as much momentum as you can, sit way back and push the bike out in front of you". My reply, "Which one is the rear brake"? I was absolutely serious. I wasn't sure if it was the right or left. That didn't go over well in the crowd but with a calm non- judgmental manner Chester replies, "Right=Rear". I got that loud and clear! Let's just say I wasn't gaining a lot of momentum so my climbs were grinds. After "The Bitches" we rode along a nice dirt road for about a mile before we entered the single track. I was riding super easy and was way slower than my buddies. They kept stopping to wait for me. This is where I got schooled in cacti. This part of AZ is not like Javelina 100M. These trails are lined with cactus. Serious cactus. The big round ones, the flat paddle type but the worst were the Cholla cactus. These babies send off their barbs in small golf ball sized puffs and they sting. This single track section winds in between all these types of cacti. It's a thick forest of ouchy things. If you fall you have about a 80% change on landing on one. In addition, if you aren't riding tubeless you will most likely be changing a flat. While I was getting my cactus education my mind was overloaded with trying to stay upright and navigate the twisty trail. This was not a wide trail. There will be very little passing unless you do it in just the right spot. About half way through the 16+ mile course I was speechless. I really had no emotion. I honestly didn't know what to make of what I had gotten myself into. I was just trying to stay light hearted and not think too much about what I would face on Saturday. It's hard to describe the emotional and physical space I was in. For anyone who mountain bikes this all seems ridiculous or over dramatic. However, it would be like taking someone sky diving who is afraid of heights. Despite my fear I have this deep desire to be better at this so I was ready to take it on.

Race day came leisurely with a noon start time. I kept myself busy! I didn't want to sit around and obsess about my probable crash. I had zero anxiety about the physical piece of this event. Running over twenty 100M races made the physical piece less daunting plus I had really low expectations. Everything ultra running has taught me came into play. This race has a Lemans style start. We took our bikes down to the pit and made our way up the hill to the start line. This was quite a sight with about 700 starters it was a sea of helmets. Micheal and I lined up in the back planning to be the last ones on our bikes. No way was I going to get in the way of these racers. The gun went off and I walked and jogged to my bike. Susan had both Micheal and I 's bike pulled out. Now with bike in hand I walked a bit and as the crowd thinned then I mounted and headed off. It was crazy! Bikes everywhere around me. Fortunately we were on a wide road heading to "The Bitches". I took a quick glace before I descended the first one. What I saw was a mass force of bike energy descending the steep grade at speeds I can't even imagine. I had my Garmin attached and with my eyes firmly planted on the best line of descent, ignoring everyone around me I saw 28 MPH. I had a firm grip on my right brake so those front guys had to be doing 50+ catching air over the bumps. I made it down the first one fine but on the climb someone in front of the train couldn't make it so we were all off our bikes. This was perfect! I had no issue with that. After the walk up it was time saddle up again. I rode all the way up the next one on my bike. Same held true for the rest. Heading on the straight I was clocking some speeds of 20 MPH and that was slow. The front racers were flying. When we hit the single track my world got rocked!

This is the cacti section. It's not hilly but is narrow and very curvy. If you hesitate and don't anticipate your turn you could easily slide. You were a slave to the actions of the train. I kept a serious 6 bike length rule. Stay 6 bike lengths back so you can react and get out of your clips! If you didn't it wasn't going to be pretty. About 1.5 miles into this section the line of bikes was halted. We were scooting with our bikes and the news made its way back. A crash ahead. The line of bikes I could see must have been 25 long. I was upset. This early and someone or a group is really hurt. Medics were coming. The bikes continued to scoot and I saw an image that will forever be in my brain. A girl had fallen into a Cholla cactus tree. She was covered with barbs. I am not taking about a few needles. Her entire face, head, neck, arms, legs were covered. MTBer's were off trying to help remove the barbs but they couldn't. She was bloody, screaming and in serious pain. I was welled up with tears. I was shaken to the core. I felt so horrible for her and everyone around her were doing all they could until the medics arrived. Apparently removing the barbs is not easy and super painful. I was struck with complete sadness for her and total fear for myself. It was a slippery slope for me at that point. This could easily happen to anyone because of how thick the cacti are in this section. I took cautious and death grip to a new level.

The wind was really picking up. Someone said we were having 50 MPH gusts and at times riding was hard. The wind would just push you off to the side. Without counterbalancing you were over. I got up onto the bluff section and the wind picked me and my bike up. I was just pushed over! The rider behind me stopped to be sure I was ok. Once he realized I wasn't hurt he commented about the disadvantage of being light. Now we were moving into the more technical stuff. More rocks to roll over, short poppers to climb and descend. The trail would sink into gullies so the wind was not so bad. I was slow on the downs and people wanted to pass. This was nerve racking. I have never been in this kind of situation on my bike. Most everyone was very polite but like anything you get a few that are just mean. I started off being my normal accommodating, want everyone to like me and be happy mode. Trying to give them the space, the better line so they could get by, etc… I had to give myself a serious talking to. I needed to hold my line until it was safe to move over or I was going to end up in a cactus. This was hard but the right thing to do for everyone. If I fall so will others and if I hesitate in my position it puts others at risk. I needed to man up, hold my line, pedal faster and yield when I could. And…I needed to stop saying sorry! I was getting completely annoyed with myself. I must have said sorry 400 times in 8 miles. What I needed to do is remember I am one of a handful of solo riders out here and I have every right to ride my race too. The team riders are incredibly fast and I was already being passed by rider 2 on my first loop. When I made my way to "The Climb" which comes near the end of the loop front riders were catching me. Their athletic ability along with riding skill was impressive. "The Climb" section is about 3 miles long and it's steady with a few steep sections. It has its technical aspects as well. This is where I saw my second cactus casualty. I was part of the train wreck too. A girl was making her way up and came to a rocky section and paused causing her to fall right in front of me. This caused me to fall over and another rider behind me. She landed on a big round cactus, I landed on the guys wheel and he

landed on top of me. Fortunately she got up and was ok. Her shorts and legs were full of spines but she felt she could make it back to the medics. This taught me one serious lesson. DO NOT STOP PEDALING! I don't care how hard it gets you have to pedal over the rocks! I came in from my first lap in under 2 hours. I arrived at our spot for crewing and I would describe myself as pretty rattled. My body was trembling and I was a bit out of sorts. The race is on! There's no more tootling along as my own pace. The consequences of a fall in the wrong place was firmly imprinted in my brain and I had already fallen a couple of times. I got restocked and headed to the check in center.

From here out things just got crazy. The bad winds were still coming and now the grey clouds are appearing. On my way out onto the second loop I came to a rocky downhill. I tried to navigate it but fell. I tumbled with one foot still attached to my bike down about 2 feet. Before I knew it I had 3 guys trying to help me. I was repeating, "I'm fine". They got my bike back up the hill and helped me back onto the trail. I had minor rock rash and hurt my wrist. I mounted back up. My wrist was really sore and felt jammed. I moved it around and took a look and it appeared to still be working. Weighting it was not fun. I had 2 mantras now. First, "look where you want to go" and second, "pedal, pedal, pedal". I was repeating these phrases for 24 hours. I made it through loop 2 without much drama, got re-stocked and left. It was the calm before the storm!

Well into loop 3 the rain started. I had about 4 miles before I would be back to camp when the bits of hail hit. Then came the steady sideways rain. I may have had my fastest climb on this loop. I was desperate to get to Susan. I was turning into a popsicle! My hands were frozen and the rest of me was well on its way. I arrived to a ghost town! All along trail where 24 Hr Town once stood was now abandoned. The wind had taken every tent, every hanging bike and all the people were gone! Susan was amazing. She has secured the tent with rocks and had my clothes ready in it. I came prepared for anything so I changed into all my winter gear including my battery powered socks! I went back out in 42 degrees, rain and wind. Lap 4 here I come.

Equipped for a long dark night in the freezing yuk. I was actually comfortable. About half way through lap 3 I was unthawed and I had to turn my socks on low. Life was pretty good and I was in my own crazy world. Wondering what on earth I was doing. I had lots of emotions but the two most prominent were gratefulness and fulfillment. I was grateful for all the help and support I have gotten. I was feeling really strong and content that I was doing what I set out to do no matter what. The trail was bit calmer on this loop. Lots of riders were hunkered down somewhere waiting for the storm to pass. When I finished lap 4 I was soaked to the bone but I was ready to dig deep. Susan was again in the tent with her headlamp waiting to help me in any

way she could. She was the beacon in the ghost town. Micheal was in the car trying to get warmed up. He had no more dry gloves and his hands were toast. I took a moment. I stopped and thought about my next step. Should I go back out soaked and cold or should I take the time to change once again. After my Bighorn freeze fest I felt the best thing to do was to get new dry gear. I went up into the car which was so warm. I got all my wet stuff off. Put my gloves on the heater to dry and geared back up. I was frozen and when I got all my wet gear off it was really clear how cold and wet I was. My skin was really wet under 2 layers. I pulled on another pair of bike tights and leg warmers over them, new shirt, jacket, shell, dry base layer socks and hat. Between the three of us we were scraping everything dry we could find! In hind sight this was a great team effort. The 3 of us really got creative. Post race I am just blown away. Not a word about stopping, not a bitch or complain about the situation. Instead we were laughing and just coping. I had Susan's dry shell, Micheal had my glove inserts, I had Kris's leg warmers and garbage bags were next. We hung our wet stuff inside the car in preparation for the next change. Hoping the car heater might dry them enough for future use. Out Micheal and I went for our 5th loop. He is much faster but he rode with me for about 9 miles before he pull away. The rain had almost stopped and the winds were more manageable. I was still cold but things were looking up. The crowd began to reappear in 24 Hr Town and riders were getting back on the trail. At the finish of lap 5 I spent about 15 minutes eating, Susan lubed my chain again I re-stocked and out I went. Lap 6 was going well but now I chose to walk 3 out of 5 of "The Bitches". I wasn't really too tired but it was the middle of the night and I just didn't feel like pushing myself. My back was aching and I was being a bit lazy. By this time I know the course and I am getting better and better. I am starting to mimic on some of what I saw. Riders don't gear down to get up a hill instead they stand up and mash their way up a popper. I tried it. It was hard at first. Trying not to pop a wheelie or lose traction in your rear wheel is a challenge. Body position seems to be the key. I now do this pretty well. I can pull my bike up and over obstacles and I can certainly pedal over and through stuff I would have never attempted before. However, I am not skilled enough to prevent a spectacular crash. On loop 6 the trail was wet and the sand was slick. I had 2 guys behind me wanting to pass. In an attempt to give them room I slightly moved over, slipped and over I went. This one was good. It was an endo. An ass over bars, laid out wondering how you got there type of fall. Scared the two guys to death. They stopped, pulled my bike off me and made sure I was fine. There is a real camaraderie out there. Very similar to ultra running. Fortunately I landed in a sand pit with no cactus! My right thigh has got some sweet bruises along the side. I was barely shaken this time. I am adapting. 6 loops is almost 100 miles but not quite!

Loop 7 was a thrill. I don't know why or how but I was on fire! The sun was going to be coming up, the rain and wind died down, I had strength and felt a bit skilled. There was only one minor problem. I didn't take out my contacts soon enough. The course was drying out and dust was everywhere. I had no eye protection. I should have put my barrier glasses on but with the rain I would need windshield wipers. Now with no rain the dust was bad. With about 4 miles to go my vision started to blur. Been here done this and know better. It was too late. Foggy vision and mountain biking do not mix! When I got back I immediately took out my contacts and began trying to use my eye drops to clear things up. I knew the abrasions were minor. If I was running I would have just left with my barriers knowing it would slowly clear up. Not on a mountain bike. I sat there for about 50 minutes with my eyes closed, bundled up to stay warm pouting. I felt great and knew I could get 10 laps if I left within 1 hour. Susan practiced her gentle determination and continued to keep me in the fight. She had me gear up and at least ride through lap 8 and get it recorded. Susan walked down to the timing tent. My decision would be made after the 200 yard trail descent into the tent. If I felt like I could see well enough I would go. If not I would continue to wait for it to clear. It was a no go. I felt it would be a stupid move

for myself and everyone else around me. If I took a bad fall or caused a bad fall due to foggy vision I would be so pissed. I parked my bike and took more time. We got coffee and walked around. My vision got better and better. I came to realize 10 loops was not going to happen but I might be able to squeak in on more. I got the 9th loop with good vision but the racers who were trying to get the final loop opportunity were getting a bit crazy. I actually thought this was the worst loop for that and I didn't care for the reckless riding. Of course, they are in complete control but the rest of us who are subject to their moves were not in control at all. One of them jumped over my wheel then hopped a rock bed while flying downhill. I was floored in a good and bad way. It was impressive. There was no doubt he was amazing on his bike. However, that amazement got a bit dulled when he could have cared less if he forced us down the rock bed or not. I have a great appreciation for the front riders. Especially the solo guys doing 18 loops. That is flying. Having them pass with speed and determination is just part of it. I need to get used to that and except the challenge instead of being fearful and timid. I loved this venue. I loved the culture, I loved the camaraderie among the MTBers, I loved the challenge and most of all I will be back for more. I am so happy I thrust myself into this. I learned more in one event than I can express.

There is no doubt I am a better rider now. No plaster, no slings, no stitches, no pain meds, not one band aid, zero flats, 153 miles and 7th place. I call this success! My bike was awesome but my derailer is really bent up. She is definitely broke in now. I feel better about Leadville. My next phase is pushing myself physically on the bike. I think I am ready to breath hard and see some better power generation. We will see what Matt on the schedule.

I tried to keep the screaming to a minimum during my post race shower. The scrapes along with a bit of chaffing made for stinging good time! My body is much less beat up than I expected but that may be a result of my low power generation. J I think the sorest part of my body is my hands and shoulders. I am pleased with my results and how it all played out. This gives me confidence I can last on the bike long enough to finish the Leadville 100 ride. I am much less frightened of the course too. Now I just need to get faster!

Let's Ride!

2011-02-16T09:09:00.001-08:00

I am not the same rider I was back in November. Now I can use my clips, I no longer wear running shorts while riding, I have learned to use my gears efficiently, my pedal stroke has evolved and yesterday I learned how to change a flat. I would say I am ready for the next level. With a little over 3 months of training I can ride with some power, turn corners and my death grip on the handlebars has lessened. I am ready to enter my first MTB race. This Saturday I am riding the solo MTB race at Old Pueblo 24hr in AZ. I am completely void of nervousness which is a reflection of low expectations. It's been a really long time since I have been in this space and it's man it's cake! Just pack your stuff and see what comes. It takes me back to my first long trail race where anything can happen and you don't care whether it's good or bad. I have a few ideas of what obstacles I might face but really no idea how to prevent or handle them. It will be learning as we go. I am curious to see what's going to happen to my back, my butt and where my head might go while pedaling away in the desert darkness. The only base line desire I have it to ride 100M and see how long that takes me. If I can still move after that then great. Oh and I really don't want to launch myself onto some cactus. I am planning on laying my bike out in the back of the pack. With a half a mile sprint to the bike pit I don't want to get caught up in the crazy fast bike mount. I plan to stroll over to my bike and start cautiously. Mostly to spare the other riders of my inexperience.

This is going to be a fun trip. Susan, Micheal, Kris and Chester will all be there. The course is a 17 mile loop so easily aided. The start and exchange area is called tent city as most everyone camps from Thurs. through Sun. It's not just a race but more like a party with Mountain Bikes and a clock. The terrain is not technical but that's all relative! This is perfect for my first endurance MTB event. You can follow the race online at the Old Pueblo 24 Hr Ride Webcast. The start is noon on Saturday finishing at noon on Sunday. Wish me luck and hopefully I will come home a better mountain biker, with all my limbs in place and will live to tell a fabulous story J!

"Are you ready to get your MTB on"?

2011-01-31T06:48:00.001-08:00

That is the text I got from Kris at 6 a.m. on Saturday morning. There's only one way out and that's down! I should have known I was in for the time of my life or the end of my life when we arrived at the top of the hill. After a good 30+ min. climb up a steady road Chester, Kris and I arrived at the trail head. This would be my first REAL trail ride. It's been over 2 years since Trisha, Darin and I ventured out onto the Wilson River for mountain biking. Chester hung his bike and took a look at the map to see what new trails they've built since his last trip here. I just stood there nervously excited. When Chester turned to Kris and said, "Does her helmet look good", I should have known something was up. However, I was still living in my world of mountain biking. He asks if he can mess with my helmet. I comply because I just pulled it out the box and put it on. Kris told me to stop calling it a hat about 2 weeks ago. I was still slipping up occasionally. Not anymore! They messed with the adjustments a few times, twisted it on my head, tightened the back then said, "Now we're ready". Off Chester goes down the trail, followed by Kris then me. Just writing about this experience is making my stomach get butterflies. The trail was not kind from the get go. It started steep and then the rocks came. Along with slippery wet rocks there were roots that gave way to drop off's. Some more than a foot deep. A drop off in of itself wouldn't be so bad but we were already on a steep grade. It felt like you were going to go ass over bars. Along with all that was the narrow winding aspect. It is a typical Oregon mountain trail. Lots of big trees, ferns lining the sides, mud and the drop off. Fall to one side you tumble down a hill filled with old logs, rock and trees. Fall to the other side and hope you'll bounce gently on a rock or stump. Kris was riding in front of me and dismounted a couple of times. I would come on her as she was trying to get back on, running down the trail with her bike. It was hilarious! She was banned from making any noises like whoaaaaaa or ahhhhhhh. Once she made a noise I knew there was something hairy in the path. I would immediately dismount. If Kris is making noise it's for a good reason. My subconscious picked right up on that and I would react by stopping. Once you're off the bike on this steep technical trail re-mounting is no easy task. I have to say this was one of the scariest things I have done. Outside of our Mt. Adams circumference when we had to climb up onto the ice in order cross a raging river this may be the most terrified I have been in a long time. I am not kidding. My heart would continue racing even when we stopped. My adrenaline was rushing throughout my body and my eyes were completely bugged out. Obstacles were everywhere and abundant. I came upon them so fast I had almost no time to react. Before I knew it I was riding over things I would have not even attempted on my bike. There was just no time to dismount. My bike was awesome. The full suspension system rocked! The lightweight, small frame came in handy on some of tighter parts of the trail. I came to appreciate my bike even more. I really got to feel it action on Saturday. It almost rides itself! I love her J

After about 30 minutes of total terror the trail mellowed. It was less steep and had less obstacles. This was the fun part. We rode the loop all the way back to car then did another

half loop on the lower section. As the day went on I began feeling much more comfortable and in control. I only fell twice and neither incident was bad. This was so good for me. It was pretty much a shove into the nuts and bolts of trail riding. It's one of those experiences in which your perspective is forever changed. I love that. A technical trail has now been completely re-defined for me. What's possible on my MTB is forever redefined. It can't get much better than that. My hands were aching when we finished. It's the result of the constant death grip. I am uncertain whether I want take Bill out there. He is fearless and loves speed. I worry he might launch himself off the side and get hurt. I love him so much I may need to save him from himself, ha, ha. He is itching to get out there.

Sunday was my first run in the Gorge for the season. It's been months since I've been out there. I got my butt further kicked by the relentless trail. It made me appreciation the late summer strength Gorge running brings. The hills we ran today were nothing like what I'll run later and I struggled on the baby stuff. It was full weekend of renewal. It's really starting to look a lot like training season. Races are popping on the radar and folks are talking training. My need for more is brewing. It's that feeling you get when you know you're ready to become better. I got filled up this weekend.

How slow can we go?

2011-01-25T06:40:00.001-08:00

I walked on the wild side at Vancouver Lake 1/2 last Sunday. I did all the things most people would tell you not to do. I bought new shoes the day before. I couldn't resist the beauty not to mention the awesome features the new Asics Sky Speed had to offer. I pulled those babies out the box and laced them up. I went all out on a flat 1/2 marathon when I haven't run anything over 6 miles on road since at least mid-summer. The absence of any speed work was just icing on the cake or more like pain in the ass. . Ultra running does have its perks. You can get away with a few stupid stunts. The weather was perfect, the company was superb and the punishment was earned. There's no way to get around running a 1/2 all out without suffering. It's the perfect distance to create pain and test grit. I was saying it's one of my favorite distances but I seem to say that all time. Maybe I just love running or Bill is right and I love pain and suffering. Fortunately I can easily combine these two desires.

I wasn't even nervous lining up. I knew it was going to be a "wait and see how bad it is" effort. After PRing on this course 2 years ago at a 7:09 pace I would be going home a winner if I broke 8 min. miles. Winner, winner chicken dinner I did it. 7:51 pace for 13.1 miles. I actually couldn't go back far enough to find one this slow and I have run a 1/2 every year for at least 9. It would have been a great 8-10 mile race for me. Somewhere around there my heart rate started dropping and there was not a thing I could do about it. If you have been a data runner long enough you know that speed and HR pretty much go hand in hand when you are highly efficient. After years of running you can't help but be highly efficient. I am willing to bet money that anyone who has been a consistent runner for 10 years will find that the speed/hr marriage exists. As it began to drop I did the usual stuff. Bring in the arms, swing faster, smaller faster steps but the problem was my legs wouldn't do it. It was sort of surreal. I am looking down at them in bewilderment. Trying to motivate them to spin. They weren't sore, I wasn't seizing up, I wasn't that winded but my legs were just stuck in that slow speed. It was actually pretty amusing. It was an the epitome of an ultra runner without any speed work. It was someone who can run really far but not very fast. My 8 fast twitch muscles are dormant. I don't mean that 7:51 isn't fast but it's not for me at that distance. It just goes to show that I have no real built in speed. What I can do is endure the fast enough torture for a long time. Once my heart rate

dropped below threshold and I couldn't jolt it back up it's just a hard Z3 run. I love it! I walked away unscathed which isn't surprising. Another benefit of being an ultra runner is if you can't push yourself hard enough you're not going to be sore. I got really inspired by the nuts and bolts of training. That training stuff really does work. Sometimes you begin to wonder if it really makes a difference. It does and it was nice to get a real measurable reminder that all that hard work means something. Speed work is an ultra runners friend!

I was in no way disappointed by my performance. I knew it was going to be slow. I know what I am doing and where I am at with my training. I am also so focused on what's in front of me and know that everything along the way is part of the process. The best part of the day was being with really fun positive people. I love to laugh and smile with friends. They all did great and few PR's were bagged. GOOD STUFF! What a great race. Russ always does such a good job and over the years nothing has changed. It's still a great event with a nice down home feel.

Base building is not boring

2011-01-21T07:24:00.001-08:00

My 2011 race schedule is finally complete. It's a pretty packed list especially in the spring. With the addition of mountain bike races I think April, May and June are really full. I am super excited but also a bit stressed. It's going to be hard to juggle all the rest of my life so I don't completely dominate the Spring. Since I am already a bit out of sorts with it I most certainly will have it dialed by the time it comes around. I guess I better get my car cleaned out because I am going to be spending a lot time getting to where I need to be fast. The whole family is talking about Leadwoman so that's a good thing. I love how Alex is giving me tips on mountain biking. Believe me I am listening because he's a teenager and fear is not really part of their vocabulary. I am trying to channel some of that "go for broke" attitude and turn it into power. When I say power I am talking about power generation on the bike. Seems I am lacking in that area. The good thing is I can pedal up a hill for easily over an hour with very little fatigue. Bad news I might be the last one to the top.

Matt has me on an Annual Training Plan leading up to Leadwoman events. Everything in between will be a B-C effort and some of the Leadwoman events are even B efforts. Right now I am in the beginning weeks of base building. Seems like years since I've been back at the base stage. I love this phase of training because the volume is high. The intensity is not frequent and many times short bursts. The hours of cardio so far have ranged from 10-17 a week. I

am still lifting at least 2 times a week. On the big weeks I am worked by the time Sunday rolls around. The bike is much more forgiving than running so I can get away with more. Matt's coaching is extremely thorough. He covers it all. I have to do some yoga, some power moves and then of course running and biking

. Currently it seems to be an even split between running and biking. Some of the workouts have been really hard. He had me doing a full body workout which included 320 push-ups and more jumps either broad jumps or lunges (jumping and static) than I ever want to do. This workout took me over 50 minutes with no rest. My butt was so sore. The pushup's were a rest for me however I was a bit sore in the front delts. There are changes happening. My body composition is changing a bit. My legs are certainly changing. My shoulders are changing so it's been fun and hard. The yoga is rough for me. I am just not that calm but I feel better after I do it. I can assure you if it wasn't on the schedule I would be hard pressed to fit it in. Since it's there I can't leave my completion button blank! I also got to do my first time trial on the bike in which I insisted on wearing a safety vest. Kris took me out to her old stomping grounds for TTT's (tempo time trials) and showed me the ropes. It was hard but I surprised myself by cranking my heart rate and speed up there. I am getting much more used to a fast pace. I am definitely getting much less sheepish when I hit speeds above 17 MPH on my MTB. With the addition of cycling I've had to work through some body adaptations as well. My IT band got pissed off and I needed to modify my bike fit so my reach was more appropriate. My mid back is not accustomed to be bent over but it's learning. It's hard for me to relax my upper body on the bike. I am so used to being strong in the core and very upright.

Sunday will be my first race. A bunch of us are running the Vancouver 1/2 marathon. This is going to seriously hurt both physically and mentally. I have run a January 1/2 several years in a row as I prepped for a winter marathon. This year I am going in the slowest I have been in while. There will be no PR on Sunday but it will be a good test of grit. I have already relinquished my need for a decent time. I will be running it hard and hope I can break 1:50. A far cry from the 1:33 I ran there before. Maybe I will surprise myself but either way it will be a fun time with friends.

February 20th will be my first MTB race. I am doing the solo 24 hour ride at Old Pueblo Epic Events.

No need to start out slow and pick a 3 hour race! I am super excited for this. Kris, Chester, Micheal and I are all riding. Susan is coming along to help out. Bill and Alex won't be able to come L. My plan is to race 100M and see how long that takes me. It will be a good gauge on how far off I am the Leadville. After that everything is gravy. I am excited to see how this all works. Being around MTB racers, feeling my pains on the bike and am curious about the fueling. This will certainly be a crash course in MTB racing.

Winter is almost over J! I know it's still January but around here the rains are getting warmer and there is the occasional shorts wearing event. The coats are bit much but gloves are still necessary. I love this transition. Seems we have had one wet and cold winter around here so I am looking forward to 55 degree rain. Oh, and the sun would be nice too but I am not going to hold my breath for that one.

Creative Visualization

2010-12-30T15:07:00.001-08:00

When I was a Freshman in college I took this class titled creative visualization. Not because I was looking for find myself or I had some need to be more creative. I simply thought it would a an easy A. I had better things to do than take tough classes and learn. My roommate and I waltzed in to the evening class and found it to be way more than we bargained for. I think we may have been the only ones under the age of 25 which at the time seemed ancient. We were just 18 and felt we knew everything and here we were with these old people sitting in a circle! We glanced at each other and I know we were each thinking if we went for it we could reach the door and get the hell out of there. The door closed and we were stuck. The mild mannered instructor with the soft voice welcomed us all, asked us to introduce ourselves then give a brief description of what we were hoping to get out of the class. Panic bubbled through my veins as I listened to those older well spoken students talk about the deep profound ideas they had of tapping into themselves at a deeper level. My mind was spinning as I waited my turn. I certainly couldn't tell them the real reason I was here. My turn came and stuff rattled out of my mouth I barely recognized. I actually impressed myself. I couldn't tell you what I said but it was deep enough to cause the instructor to bond to me like glue. After the class finished Gogo (yes my roommates name was Gogo and she was awesome) and I laughed our heads off and made serious fun of ourselves and everyone else. Exhibiting behavior you would expect from sure of themselves college Freshman. We stuck with the class. There was no homework and no tests so how bad could this sharing stuff be? If we just kicked backed, smiled, listened and occasionally said something we could score an easy grade.

The definition of Creative Visualization is: the practice of seeking to affect the outer world via changing one's thoughts. Creative Visualization is the basic technique underlying positive thinking and is frequently used by athletes to enhance their performance, or: a meditative technique in which the meditator imagines that the conditions or things he or she desires are already manifest, helping to bring those conditions into being.

Throughout the term we were required to participate in several meditative sessions which if you know me that is a stretch. I barely sit still long enough to write this blog. I didn't know anybody really mediated except in the 60's. In my world as a teen I didn't share my inner thoughts. I suppose that would be extremely normal but here I was forced to share. That was the main requirement. In a circle of strangers we were each required to talk about our life goals, life pitfalls and create a vision to achieve or develop an outcome we sought. This was a long term and it wasn't just some fly by process which I hoped it would be. The whole class was invested in your meditation from beginning to end. We all held hands (yuk) while a student shared what they wanted to achieve. We listened as they took us through each step of gaining on their dream from beginning to end. It might take several classes for one student to get through their whole creative visualization. There were buckets of tears and I was so moved many times I had to fight back lots of emotions. At 18 I was certainly NOT going to be crying in front of anyone. The class became addicting. Both of us anxious to hear what students had to say and more importantly we were drawn to the excitement of another emotional trigger. Sounds sort of crazy but watching folks work through their fears and drive towards their passions would drum up lots of huge emotions. I became deeply invested in almost every students dream as if I wanted to do anything I could to help them succeed. It was a moving experience no matter how much I fought it. I was fortunate to have such an opportunity as such a young age. Most of all I believe it has been a tool that continues to shape almost everything I do. If I can't visualize myself doing something I most likely will not do it. Over the years I have become a master at dissociation. I don't mean that in a bad way however I can get myself in trouble at times. Dissociating with the present and bringing awareness to what it might be like to do something or become something other than what you currently are is pretty fun. I do this all the time in races. When I am suffering I pretend I am someone else. Generally I like to pick runners I admire or see as strong powerful influences. Before I know it I have been running on their legs for an hour forgetting about mine. Since I am so new to mountain biking the visualization has been intense. I am taking this dream very seriously. By the time Leadville events roll around in early July it will be like I have already done it in my mind many times. I can sometimes even feel it as I get myself all worked up dreaming about it.

While at the Lululemon Ambassador Summit I was thrust into another one of these kinds of classes. 3 days of visualizing, dreaming, sharing and making plans. Again I was overwhelmed, better prepared for what might surface but still out of my comfort zone. Coming off a big emotional and physical failure of sorts made the timing of the summit confusing. I wasn't yet ready to tap into my well of dreams. So much change and torment was still settling out. I still needed time to sit with my thoughts before I could commit myself to pressing forward and goal setting. However I knew it was just a matter of time. At the summit we were given a shirt that has a place for your personal goal. I saved mine because I knew I was wanting to do something big for 2011. I pulled it out the other day and filled in my goal. It was a powerful feeling to write "Leadwoman 2011" on that line. With that I wrote my own manifesto. A personal collage of phrases or thoughts I live by. It's an evolving document. Living this dream in my head is step one in achieving it and I am nervous as hell but couldn't be more excited at the same time. It's the perfect storm!

With the close of 2010 it's the perfect time to think about what's next. Lululemon is a ferocious goal setting company. Yes, they make awesome clothes but they do much more than that for everyone who touches the inner soul of the company. The heart and soul of Lululemon is about making things happen in style of course. J Happy New Year everyone!

Baby steps!

2010-12-17T13:44:00.000-08:00

It's been just over 1 month since I started training with Matt and learning to ride. I am having some growing pains. Lot's of physical changes are starting to occur. I am getting fatigue and soreness in unfamiliar territory. Along with all the physical changes I am getting a good dose of humility. I am really excited to see changes in my body. Who isn't? As ultra runners I feel like we have some of the strongest legs around when it comes to muscle endurance. All the large muscles are generally well developed and most of all many of our auxiliary muscles are ready to roll at a moments notice. Given the opportunity to show their strength at the slightest ankle roll or toe clip they tend to be there ready for action. Not many sports offer that. I am learning not all my leg muscles are ready to work or at least work very hard for very long. Both my center quads are surprisingly lazy. I guess my lateral quads pick up a lot of slack. With the help of some seriously over defined abductors my two most frontal quads have basically been on vacation. My medial quad gets a bit of work on the downhills while running but it's not super developed either. With the addition of cycling my 2 most frontal quads are pissed! It's like they are having a fight with my lateral quad who seems to be the dominate reliable force in the relationship. The one who always ends up carrying the load. I am certain this relationship is dysfunctional and the co-dependency needs to end. My frontal quads need to man up and do their part. Fortunately I have a brain and I plan to use it. It's as if I'm the counselor who is gently trying to sort this relationship out. In the process of unraveling and retraining this cast of characters I need to tread lightly because at any moment both my frontal quads will just shut down, turn they're back on me forcing my lateral to do all the work. When this happens my poor lateral quad which is used to be the dominate, steady partner gets really tired and tight. This is all really interesting to me. I can feel it all happening while I ride. Everything is as smooth as silk for about 1.5 hours but beyond that my frontal quads ask for a smoke break and leave my lateral to do all the work. That's when I have to counsel them back in game and be vigilant. I always wondered why I have no definition in quads. The answer is now clear. I only have 2! My lateral and medial quads have depth but my vastus intermedius and rectus femoris are lazy and underdeveloped. This is really good news because better running and better riding will occur once they realize their vacation is OVER! With that said I am finding myself having to practice some serious patience. For those of you who are parents you remember all the times you needed to bite your tongue or remove yourself from the situation before you lost your cool. This is similar. I can't bully this process. I need to be mature and practice patience as the muscles mature and adapt to being used. I am beginning to get some useful data on my riding ability. I want to see serious improvement. I want to ride more efficient, faster and with more power. Instead of just going for it I am practicing patience and humility. I am trying to listen to my body and work on my pedal stroke and forget about power and speed. I feel I can't skip this step. I don't want to create bad habits that will ultimately cost me in all areas. It's hard to be so new. It makes me so pissed when I can't generate more power. That's when I have to step back and remember my long term goal. Why? Because the only way I can generate a lot of power right now is by just mashing like a mad woman with my strong glutes and lateral quads. Bad idea for me!

Not only am having some great physical changes I am getting a mental shift. I am going from knowing exactly what I need to do to be successful in an endurance run to being a true beginner. I will admit it's super frustrating and annoying. I am constantly reminding myself to be easy and open to the process. Now I know why people bail when things get hard. It would be much easier to abort the mission. However, I can't. I even gave it some thought but it's not in me. I want this. The vision is sometimes crystal clear. When I get frustrated the vision becomes cloudy. That's when I have step back and remember where I am coming from. Just because I can run 100M in the mountains does not mean I can MTB it. This is going to be long but prosperous process filled with many days of frustration but many days of success. I need to be able to handle both.

Just fit enough….

2010-12-07T09:02:00.001-08:00

I am just fit enough to be dangerous. No need to worry I am only dangerous to myself. I am certain all of us who participate in any kind of endurance sport have the stamina and strength to pretty much try anything. It's not always the best choice to jump in with both feet. It might be prudent to practice some humility and caution. However, that's so much easier said than done.

In 2007 when I did the Grand Slam of Ultrarunning while acclimating for the Leadville 100M I took the opportunity to watch the Mountain Bike race. It's held the prior weekend. I was immediately all in. I so badly wanted to do that event. It appeared to be incredibly action packed and challenging. When the slam was over my desire still brewed and I bought a mountain bike. Cyclepath here Portland is an awesome store and since my friend Kris is well connected in the community she found me a bike which Cyclepath just happened to have built in my size. I fell in love the girly but bad ass bike and threw my money down. Now invested I was going to learn how to ride. I did some short track racing and a couple of trail outings then winter set in. My bike sat. It collected dust the next year when I didn't get picked for the Leadville Bike Race lottery and then again the following year. In 2010 while in Leadville pacing Micheal I learned you could sign up for the whole Leadwoman which is a series of 5 events in 6 weeks time. One of those

events is the 100M bike race and you are given a slot if you go for broke and do the Leadwoman. I was stoked. I texted Bill and let him know we were going to be sleeping in an altitude tent. I had found my calling for 2011. I signed up the day registration opened.

The Leadwoman consists of:

7/2 - Leadville Marathon

7/16 - Leadville 50M run or 50M mountain bike

8/13 - Leadville 100M mountain bike

8/14 - Leadville 10K run

8/20 - Leadville 100 run

I am so excited but incredibly focused on the 100M mountain bike. They give you 12 hours to ride the course and it's tough. The descents make my stomach gurgle. I don't yet know how to ride a mountain bike but I am learning. This leads me to the title of this entry. I am just fit enough to be dangerous to myself! I hired Matt Hart to help me through this. He is a multi sport coach and incredibly knowledgeable about endurance mountain biking and ultra running. I feel really lucky to have the opportunity to work with him. My brain is exploding with new information. I am learning so much. At times it's completely overwhelming. To ensure I got my butt on the bike I signed up for a 24 hour mountain bike race in February. It's called the Old Peublo 24 Hr Ride and it's held in AZ. This race was recommended by Kris as a good ride that's not too technical.

It's a 17 mile loop course which is perfect for learning. I plan to see how long it takes me to race 100M so I know how far off I am for Leadville. Given that Leadville will far more difficult this will give me great information about how weak I am on the bike. I am in a serious base building phase on the bike. There is no technical riding as of yet. Currently the focus is time in the saddle and pedal stroke efficiency. This pedal stroke stuff is not as easy as it sounds. If you're a cyclist you know this. If you're not you have to be thinking, "How hard is it"? Well, sitting on a bike for 3 hours (which is my longest ride thus far) is interesting. Focusing on full circles using your hip flexors and quads to pull up and your hamstrings to drive the back portion of the stroke is crazy weird. I am learning terms like "masher" which is what cyclist call runners on a bike. I am total masher. My strong quads and endurance can mash for hours! Well, that won't fly in long haul. It's super inefficient. I am learning all about bike fit. This piece is completely overwhelming. There are so many factors. There's the shoes and the clips and how they positioned. There's the seat height and the forward or back. There's the reach. Sheesh, whoever came up with term it's just like riding a bike needs to be schooled. If I was going to a spinning class or riding for an hour none of this would be a big deal. But, clipping my leg in and sitting my butt on a bike for 3 hours

is a whole other story. I am fit enough to ride hard for long time and my body can handle the task. However, with all the pieces not quite right trouble will brew. After a 2:40 minute ride my right IT Band gave me a serious talking to. In over 25 years of running I have never had and IT issue. I wasn't even sure what it was until I got it checked. I did my ride on an indoor bike at my gym. I thought the bike fit was fine but what do I really know. They only thing I knew was I had workout to do. That's what our kind of fitness brings…reckless abandonment. Sitting on an indoor bike practicing the art of disassociation is cake! Ultra running gives us the gift of disassociation or at least we learn it as we go. Since I am getting schooled quite regularly now my new IT issue is just another test.

I have been injured badly 3 times. The injuries were bad enough to keep me from running for up to 6 weeks. I tore my soleous and was on crunches for a week and didn't run a step for 5 weeks. I ruptured my plantarus muscle and could barely walk for 2 weeks before rehab. I screwed up my left knee pretty bad and didn't run much at all for 5 weeks. I have had other minor stuff but not bad enough to set me back. With all my running experience I seem to know the difference between adaption and injury. It's a fine line right? Sort of like a bell shaped curve and once you topple over it's a fight back to the other side. I would say I am teetering right now. Funny thing is I can run with no issue. This is good. I am getting a professional bike fit on Friday which is going to take 3 hours! This is just another piece of the learning. Who would have thought it would take so long and so much was involved?

Did you know how hard it is to mountain bike in the winter? I am laughing as I type this because it is now obvious to me. It's cold on a bike. The mud and slippery stuff is hard to navigate. As I am out there freezing my butt off (btw: a frozen butt is not a bad thing…lessens the pain) I know this is just helping my non-existent bike skills. I am also learning that most cyclist train indoors. Ok, well how do I put a mountain bike on a trainer? You don't have another bike? Nope! This is when I get the look. Sort of a puzzled you're kidding kind look. Then I get, "How long are you going to be on the trainer"? I tell them it could be 4-8 hours. Then you know the look I get. They are horrified and almost feel sorry for me. I however feel excited! Drake let me borrow one of his computrainers. This is Porsche or trainers and I can't wait. The data and rides you get to do are amazing. But, in order for me to use the trainer I need a training wheel on the back. Needless to say, I have been busy getting this bike thing figured out and I love it. I know there is an inner mountain biker in me. I can see her and occasionally feel her. This is going to be big adventure!

Curiosity!

2010-11-22T12:57:00.001-08:00

My recovery from Javelina 100M was amazing. I wasn't sore, no swelling and my muscles rebounded fast. Why? Because I chose to do a bodybuilding show. I have experienced 2 of the 3 contests held at a physique competition. I have competed in figure twice and bikini twice. I have never done bodybuilding. I have always loved the required poses for bodybuilding but was never really ready to dive in. First, I don't have much muscle and second you need to be very lean. For woman I would say you need to be in the 6-8% max. Since I chose such a late 100M race the only show I would be able to do is the NW Championships in Olympia or my desire to try it would have to wait. I said, "What the hell". I can change my fueling, learn the poses and create a 60 second routine in 17 days. Crazy, not at all recommended but I really wanted to try it so I did. When I got home I got my menu on Monday mid-day. That gave me 17 days to cut as much fat off my body as I could. I started eating the plan that day. 7 meals, every 2-3 hours containing protein, carbs and good fats. One of the misconceptions I heard a lot was, "You must be starving". Actually, it's quite the opposite. Post 100M I am generally not that hungry and what I want to eat is not all that healthy. With this plan I had to eat lots of lean protein, clean carbs and healthy fats whether or not I was hungry. I was pretty much force feeding myself for at least 3 days. This is why my recovery from Javelina was so great. Mark has always told me it would be best for me to eat every 2 hours post race to refuel my muscles and crank up the repair process. Well, it's easier said than done. When you look at yams and chicken after running 100 miles it isn't very appetizing. I wasn't really convinced it would make much difference but now I am certain it does. Along with the eating I had to do 1.5-2.0 hours of low level cardio a day. Broken up into 3 sessions. When I say low level I mean really low, barely breaking a sweat and certainly not breathing hard. I needed to do it this way because I needed to burn only fat! No muscle could be sacrificed. I have very little muscle mass at the end of a running season. Especially in my upper body.

This first 6 days were easy. I had no distractions, was super satisfied and not bored. By the first Sunday I had a rough patch. I questioned why I was doing this. The ridiculous notion that I could run a 100M and 17 days later compete in bodybuilding competition was an easy out. I had a pouting moment, complained to Bill but continued eating like I was supposed to. Bill was awesome. I tried to get him to take me out to dinner and in his sweet way said, "No". He was no fun so the day went on and by 8 p.m. I was in bed. I woke up the following day with new resolve. There's something very satisfying about self control. I always tell Alex self confidence and self esteem are two different things. Self confidence is taught. It's something your parents and people who are integrated in your life almost give you. The people close to you shape your self confidence is many ways. That's why is incredibly important to choose your partners and friends wisely. Listen to them, monitor how you feel when they talk with you about you. All those things play a role in having self confidence because it's how you feel about yourself. Self esteem on the other hand is earned. No one can build your self esteem. At least that's how I see it. You earn it through your accomplishments. How you choose to fulfill your life will either enhance or rob you of your self esteem. All the obstacles you overcome to achieve or have an experience give you resolve. How many times you have trudged forward feeling scared, not worthy or embarrassed because you don't know what you're doing? Each and every time you push yourself you build self esteem. This was one of those moments. Everyone thought I was nuts, stupid or just crazy. All those words played to my weak days but chose to ignore and do what I wanted.

Besides gaining a bit of esteem I gained awareness. Dropping weight is hard. It's takes discipline and self control. I probably heard the phrase "I would like to lose some weight but I can't be that rigid". Well, then don't spend any ounce of mental energy talking about what you would like to do. Not that I am trying to put anyone down but let's face it. It takes energy to get results. It takes some suffering either physical or mental to achieve a goal. Many of us can over train ourselves into becoming sick so clearly we can push ourselves. It seems like there is this brewing notion that if we are ever hungry we have an eating disorder. The only eating disorder I seem to see is over eating. I found it interesting and enlightening to hear and experience peoples reaction about rigid eating. I wonder why? Ask yourself what your initial reaction or emotion is when someone tells you they are eating a certain way to cut fat. Especially if they are not fat in YOUR eyes. I suspect most of us react based on how we feel about our own ideas about our OWN weight. Many times there is a very negative reaction, a lot comparing and justifying right off the bat. I wonder why that is? It's as if planning your food intake whether it be eat more, eat less or simply eat differently as seen as taboo. It's really no different than then planning your day, keeping your house or car very neat, or planning and being diligent about working out. It's all the same. During this 17 days I got the opportunity to experience the feeling of wanting to eat stuff I can't. I have never really needed to lose much weight in my 43 years. With the exception of dropping post baby weight I have never been over weight. The only body changes I have really ever had to make are because I want and like a leaner body. I eat clean because I like to feel good. I like good energy, good skin and I like the taste of clean healthy food. I also, do not like feeling like I have a food hangover. I like to cook and use lots of fresh spices and experiment with clean recipes. All that and my love for physical challenges has helped me stay steady. I do like to eat so I eat a lot and often. For 17 days I got a really restricted menu. Not a lot of tastes and certainly no deviations. There were times when a piece of chocolate or a good coffee drink called me. I had to practice self control but now with food. It was interesting and enlightening. It's hard but if you really want something it's easy. A curious study.

The outcome was a bit leaner Ronda. 17 days only got me about 2.5 lbs of fat loss but I was able to maintain my muscle mass. Since endurance athletes are like glycogen camels it takes a bit for our bodies to burn up the already plump glycogen stores. Along with all that much needed, hard earned glycogen storage comes water. So with all that depletion I dropped at least 5-6 pounds. I will count the 2.5 lbs of fat as real loss. It was crazy to watch my body change daily. When it was competition day I was nervous and anxious knowing I only gave this 17 days. I am also very small and wasn't super lean. I had to disassociate myself with those thoughts because the worst thing I could do was let them see me sweat so to speak. J I needed to project confidence that I belonged there. I think I did a good job and definitely didn't look how I felt inside. The best part was my 60 second routine. I chose the music from the Leadville 100M mountain bike movie, "The Race Across The Sky". The song is, Electric Worry, by Clutch. Very fun. I had a blast with the routine. It was the perfect motivator of my next adventure which is the 2011 Leadwoman.

Javelina 100M!

2010-10-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

I am still riding high from my best ever performance. It's almost hard to articulate. Beating my own expectations doesn't happen often but Javelina 100M was so much more than I could have imagined. Dreaming big and visualizing yourself doing extraordinary things is the cornerstone of completing a 100M race for sure. Racing a 100M is often the next step for many beyond just finishing. The word "racing" also has many meanings. It could mean winning, it could mean going for a PR or just simply putting your head down and focusing. That's what endurance activities have to offer. An array of meaning for each individual and most of the time that personal meaning is respected among peers. For me the term "racing" has taken on all forms. I have had the opportunity or should I say taken the opportunity to test the meaning of the word in several forms. My conclusion, racing 100M is a test of patience and perseverance. I am not equipped to line up to 100M and go for broke. Some may say I am selling myself short or not believing I can do more, be better or faster.

What I do know for sure is, "Mental confidence is what the mind thinks the body can do. Physical confidence is what the body itself knows it can do". Matt Fitzgerald

I know I can run 100M and how fast is simply of matter of my training. For Javelina I knew I needed to run, not hike at all. All the climbing and descending I generally do to prepare was over and now I needed to learn how to get my legs moving again. I needed gain back the physical confidence so my body knows it can RUN. I asked Howard Nippert for help. He coached me for 3 months exactly. Not much time. I got my first schedule and just about died. I had been used to training blocks that gave me the mental edge I felt I needed to be successful. However, I am a dutiful student. A rule

follower. At times I felt a bit slighted as if he didn't have the confidence in me to give me workouts worthy of my experience. I pushed those useless emotions aside. It is incredibly freeing to let go and do what your told. I felt like I gave him the data, he gave me a schedule, I paid for it, I would do it exactly and if it failed I knew who to blame. ha, ha.

What I gathered was he felt I knew how to run 100M and what I needed was to get my legs moving again.

My Race: This would be a very quick trip. Leave Portland on Friday and fly home on Sunday night. Since Bill and I put Alex's schedule first that meant Bill would not be able to come. Of all the 100M races I have done this would be the second one he has missed. Though we were bummed it was the right choice. I was in good hands. Micheal and Susan would be crew and pacers for both Carrie and I. We were well taken care of. Bill was in constant text mode with them both and I would get updates.....gotta love technology. The washing machine loop course at Javelina is unique. I don't know of any other races that take this approach. This could either drive you nuts or become a strength. I choose to not be drove nuts by a course I line up to run so I knew I could use this to help me along. I could draw energy from friends and co-runners all day long. I can tell you now this was a blast and super motivating. Seeing my co-runners work their way through the day was awesome.

Loops 1 and 2: My plan from the start was to take it easy and start moderately. The 15.4 mile loops are not super hard or technical but that just makes managing them more important. A death march on the final 2 loops would be miserable for me and I knew if I didn't head caution while feeling fresh the payment would be a long hard grind later. I forced walk breaks for both loops. I played silly games like timing the amount of time it took me to walk a hill. The most I got was 1 minute. That is seriously funny. A one minute climb! However, I am not silly enough to think this 1 minute climb wouldn't turn into 3-5 minute climb later. Needless to say, I got a good feel for the terrain and already decided which direction I liked better. It was a perfect cool morning and the day was shaping up nicely. The weather was not going to be real hot. Though for me I had moments of being overheated. I did a fair amount of heat training in the hot box which helped. My first lap was just a bit ahead of schedule. My pace chart was built for 22:36. My fastest 100M was Vermont 100M on 21:37. Though everyone gave me some crap about the sandbagger 22:36 I really felt that was appropriate for a couple of reasons. First, I haven't been on a course like this where there are "NO" obvious climbs and descents. The natural break for the muscle groups did not exist. Second, this was a dry hot heat. I am pretty good at managing the heat and the key word is "managing". Managing means paying attentions to my pace and fueling. I felt I would need that here. My second loop was barely on pace. I had a few moments of being hot. The sun would be covered by a thin cloud and when it would come back out my whole head would sweat like crazy. Kind of like a hot flash you get when your old....or my age....or pregnant. I had 2 hot flashes when I was pregnant and I can tell you it was intense. At one point I thought, "Man, AZ has the weirdest rain". I was running along and drips

were hitting me like a mild sprinkler. I looked up and saw thin clouds but far away. Then I realized the sprinkler was my head! I took more walk breaks on this second loop which cost me.

Loops 3 and 4: I have now run a 50K and not in any speedy fashion. I was okay with this. Each time I came in to head quarters (main area where Susan and Micheal were set up) I took my time. I made sure I sat and cooled off using cold wet towels, ate or drank whatever was on my plan and just took a moment. This is how I planned to manage myself early on. I wanted to remain calm, cool and collected channeling my performance at Vermont 100M. This is "racing" for me. Being a freak early has never paid dividends in a 100M race for me. I feel like after years of toying with idea of "racing" a 100M this is how I should do it. As I said earlier, I am not equipped to do it the other way. I have tried it and the outcome does not prove to be faster or better. Instead I think it makes me slower and ultimately pissed!

When I left for my 3rd loop I felt good, hot but good. My body was running pretty well. The best part was my fueling. It was absolutely perfect thus far. My third loop was just under schedule by 15+ minutes which was certainly a boost but still I was cautious. Now at mile 46.4 I felt in control but my legs were starting to talk to me. I got into HQ and cooled them off and got out. I was walking a bit more now and knew the rigor of all the running was making my hips and legs more sore than normal. I got to the 50 mile mark and glanced at my watch. It read 9:32. Not great for 50 miles but not bad either. When I arrived at the first aid station I took a moment to stretch. "Are you running 100M race or doing yoga"? That's the question I got from another runner. I replied, "I am sore already so I thought the stretch might help". He laughed and we headed out together. We talked and I confessed that my legs are getting very sore. He said, "Have you taken any Advil". I reply, "No, I generally don't do that but I might have to tonight". I was hesitant to even consider taking any Advil or anything and generally I don't do that anymore since 2004 when I started working with Scott who suggested I not do that for good reason and even better use the pain as fuel. :) We continued our conversation and he told me he was in the medical field and if I was hydrated and going slow I should take 2 Advil now and 2 Tylenol two hours later! WTF!!!

BIG CONFESSION! I took 2 Advil right then. I really questioned the move but since they were already in my gut I needed to drink. I felt really good and was plenty hydrated but now I was super vigilant. Three of us ran a bit further then all of the sudden I was feeling very good. I put on my music and began running. My love hate relationship with my Garmin 310XT had suddenly turned into a love affair. The accuracy was awesome in the vast desert. My paces were showing sub 9:30, then sub 8:30. The guys tried to hang on and as we turned the corner one said, "Obviously the Advil has kicked in". It did and I found a high. I like to call them moments of glory and when one comes in the second half of a long race I take it for all it's got. I ran and ran with what seemed like boundless energy. My legs felt amazing, my energy better than the first 3 loops. I found myself back at HQ faster than all but my first loop!

Laps 5 and 6: I came bounding in with the most amount of energy and excitement. I had covered 61.9 miles and was absolutely thrilled. Micheal picked up his pacing duty. I put my music on and flew! I continued to have this crazy amount of power. My fueling was spot on! I confessed to Micheal that I had become a drug addict and have popped 2 Advil earlier and I needed 2 Tylenol out my bag. He looked at me like I was drunk. I might not have been drunk but I was high. He questioned me and I barked back. "The guy said take 2 Tylenol"! He gave me the look but knew better than to withhold the Tylenol. I downed the pills and headed off. I felt zero guilt because I was too busy having the run of my life. We cooked on lap 5 clocking the exact time I ran on lap 4. Could this get any better? We arrive at HQ and I decided to drink some broth with crackers in it. I felt the additional salt would be good. I drank and ate it all. We leave and it takes me about 5-10 minutes to get it all digested before I could really kick it in. Micheal had gotten used to my singing and since I only do that when I am on fire the silence concerned him. I assured him the concert would resume as soon as this all digested. Sure enough I was back in action. When was this moment of glory going to end? I was nervous. I began to wonder if and when it ended if I would be crippled and destroyed. It never came. My Garmin was still giving me some serious paces for 75+ miles on my drugged up legs. It was hard to tell who I was passing or who was passing me. I really didn't care but when I came in to HQ on the final long lap I saw a group of girls fighting for their lives. I knew they were in front of me because when they were focused and working hard.

Victory Lap: Carrie called this final short 9 mile loop the victory lap. For me, on this day at this race I felt like I won. I won the question I wanted answered. Are you only a good mountain runner? Today I am proving to myself I am a good

runner, not hiker, not hogger (hiker/jogger...Susan's phrase for the combo) but a runner. I was beginning to feel the race on my body. I know it's mile 92.8. I should feel it and I loved it. We made our way to the aid station to take the turn onto the best piece of trail. A new trail. One that cuts right down the middle for 2.8 glorious downhill. I flew on this. Out of pure happiness. My left leg tried to buckle a couple of times but not enough to bring me down fully. I think I skidded once onto my hands but got right back up. I had just past the 3rd place gal and wanted to keep it but more importantly I wanted to reach the final turn. Not because I was almost done but because the final turn was at 100.3 miles and I wanted to know how fast I could run 100 miles and how close I was to even splits. I reached it at 19:53! My first 50 were 9:32 so that means I ran the second 50 in 10:21. Not bad. I crossed the finish line in 20:07 with pure joy and amazement.

Not one touch of nausea, not one low point and a PR. The aftermath was a swollen left dorsey flex point between my foot and ankle. That healed up within a couple of days. The funniest part? When I got home and unloaded all my stuff I looked at the Advil and Tylenol containers. When I held them in my hand they rolled over and I see the expiration date. The Advil expired in 10/05 and the Tylenol!!!!!!!!! expired on 04/03. Can that be possible? So, the question is? Do those things really expire or are they one hell of a placebo? Either way I don't care. I certainly am NOT saying anyone should take anything during a race ever! What a race, what a trip and I am still soooo happy to end the season like this.

What's next: 2.5 weeks to see how lean I can get. Maybe if I can shed a good layer I will throw on a posing suit and give bodybuilding a whirl. Mountain biking! I signed up for that 24 hour race in AZ in February and I need to learn to ride my bike with clips and use the gears!

Making raisins

2010-09-28T14:49:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I got the opportunity to meet and run with one of Kris's long time friends. She is an ultra runner who once lived in Portland but moved to California. While we were all running she was telling us about this great but concerning adventure she had swimming with sharks. This adventure was deliberate. When we quizzed her about why she chose such an experience she educated us on her neurosis. She gave use the the definition of FOMO. A neurosis which means, "Fear Of Missing Out". I don't really suffer from a severe case of FOMO but when it comes to running I might need to seek treatment. My mild case of FOMO is what got me into the Sierra Nevada Endurance Run. My friend Susan and her friend Kristin were heading to CA to participate in the race. Susan was doing the double marathon as her final preparation for Kansas 100M. I didn't want to miss out on a great opportunity to run a flat easy 50M! Plus, the 80 degree temperature would be the perfect test run for heat.

I signed up 3 weeks before the race and didn't read any of the course description. What I did do was take Susan's pace chart and pin it to my shorts. She gave me a quick run down of what she thought the race was and I just sat back and went along for the ride. Now often times ignorance is bliss but I might have taken that one step to far on Saturday. When we arrived in Sacramento it was hot and the weather was predicted to get hotter over the weekend. Seems they have had a cool summer but some super hot days have crept in here and there. Looks like we hit the heat jackpot! The last time I ran in anything over 85 degrees was 3 years ago when I ran WS100M. In fact, I can't remember the last time I felt 85 degrees let alone run 52.4 miles in it. Immediately upon settling in we decide to shake the legs out. We head for the American River bike path which was just down the road from Kristin's brothers place. Susan and I are chatting and sweating having a great time. When we turned around we headed back on the wrong trail. We end up in some gated community where some lady walking her standard poodle crossed the road to avoid contact. All we wanted to do was ask her where the hell we were. We decide it would be best to retrace our steps and head back to the trail head. We again take a wrong turn and end up on some 2 track trail that came to an abrupt end. Now 1.5 hours into our 35 minute jog we decide to call Kristin and have here come get us. We had 2 obstacles. First, no phone and second we needed to hike up a steep hillside into someones back yard. To make things more interesting we were on the hill side with giant wild turkeys and deer. Have I ever mentioned I don't like large bird types? In addition to the wildlife we were wading through thigh high star thistle, scratch, scratch. Finally at the top we ask some nice woman in her car to use her phone. She was incredibly sweet and helpful. Kristin and her sister in law came an retrieved us. We were at least 2 miles out of our way. What a way to start the trip!

After stewing all night about how I would handle the 98 degree revised forecast it was time to go. I had my normal elaborate plan on how to go light, drop my pack, when to carry handhelds and so on. All that pretty much went out the window after I started draining my 40 oz tanker in around 3 miles. The course was no where near the gravel road I thought it was on. We started out on single track and never left it. At about mile 10 I realized my elaborate plan was out the window and I was in for a day of survival. Even though I haven't been in this kind of exposed heat in years I have the memory of an elephant. Which at times is most annoying but this time it came in handy. I knew the only way I would survive this heat was to cool myself from the outside. Draining my 40oz tanker was simply not going to cut it. There was no way my body could process enough liquid to cool itself. First because the heat was too extreme and second because I have not even come close to training it to digest liquid that fast. The course was not easy. In fact, I found it to be moderately difficult. The footing was okay and the trail was wide enough but it twisted, turned and had rolling terrain. Folsom Lake is almost always in sight as you make your way up to Auburn Dam Overlook. However to reach Auburn Dam Overlook you need to climb the cardiac trail. On this day....that was a perfect description. It was steep and rocky and at this time of day it was cooking hot. My respiration was weakening fast. I knew this was a result of my body heating up. My goal at this point was to find any all water and dunk myself. I needed to cool my core temperature. My stomach was perfect and my body felt strong but none of that really matters if you can't breath. I knew I was getting dehydrated but I was putting in as much liquid as I could get my hands on. I was popping succeed like tick-taks! All of this was good but not enough for my Salmon trained Oregonian like state. Once we climbed Cardiac we were treated by the most beautiful canal I have seen. We ran along this lovely 3 foot deep flowing body of water for 2 miles. I took one look at that baby and didn't even consider it might be drinking water. I was fully submerged before you could say, "Last one in's a ????". It was immediate relief. Arriving at Auburn Dam Overlook (mile 22) I was in good spirits, cooled off and thinking I got this. Oh, I forgot to mention, on my way there I got to see my first blood puking. Not mine but another runner's. This was disturbing because it was really red and there was a lot of it. I hope they dropped. Once you leave mile 22 you descend

on an old road down into the canyon just to climb out the back side of Robie Point. That was really neat. Once at Robie Point I reminisced about WS100M and wondered if once I descend down to No Hand Bridge (the turn around and end of the single marathon) if my hike out will be slower than when I ran WS100M? It seriously could have been. No matter what it was awesome to be running there again. At No Hands they had the finish shoot for the marathon and believe it or not it wasn't even tempting. Though I felt slow, was so darn hot and I knew it was going to be long haul I was up for the challenge. This race had now turned into an opportunity to test my heat skills. :) So far, my fueling was good, my attitude was tolerable and my body was cooperating. I made the turn and pretended I was racing for the win at WS100M. It was good time to dream the big dream and loose myself. That worked for about 2 miles then the chills started and my respiration began to get super shallow. Time to get cooled down again. Heading back to the Overlook (mile 30) I knew I needed to sit and sponge off. I arrived and did just that. Got my supplies and headed for the lovely canal. I was literally salivating at the thought of the cool dip in the lovely running water. I knew I had 2 miles of running along the top so felt it was appropriate to submerge 2 times. Once at the start and once just before we leave and begin the descent down cardiac. The only thing sticking out of the water was the 4 inch oval of my face. I stayed in for 2 solid minutes each time. It was awesome. After my swims I headed down the cardiac trail arriving at the next aid station. Again I sat and sponged off. The next section was absolute hell! It was 8 miles long. I had 45 oz of liquid and drank a good bunch before I left. I knew I would run out. I felt pretty good but once again I began to heat up. This section was torture. We ran along Folsom Lake watching water skiers, boaters and swimmers all enjoying the cool water on this wicked hot day. However, the trail we were on is just far enough above the lake to make it dangerous to attempt a swim. Most of the time there was a good 20 foot drop off down to the lake after a 5 minute bushwhack. This is where I got pissed! So far my plan of cooling myself from the outside worked well. Now there was water, water everywhere and no way for me to access it. I was getting heat exhausted. Chills and delirium were setting in. I was walking downhill and just plain having a heat tantrum! Out of water and desperately sucking on my dry hose as if I kept wishing water would appear. I was about 5 miles in when I came to and power station. Wahooooo, this baby regulates some water flow which meant there was water. I staggered down to that water source and spent a long 5 minutes fully soaking up every bit of it's coolness. It was so awesome I may never forget it! Once out I was reborn. My body would begin to process and it was the only time I would pee.....post soak. My respiration would return to normal and my system would begin to relax. I knew I had about 20 minutes of good running before my body would heat back up again. Lord knows when I could get back in so I ran hard searching for the aid station. I had been out of water long enough. Then the angels arrived. Volunteers were walking back with jugs of water knowing runners were dry. They gave me 20 oz to get another mile. I was so grateful. I drank it all before I arrived. All I had left was 11 miles to finish. I filled my tanker and headed out still taking advantage of any bit of water access. We had 5.8 miles to the next aid and I hiked down to Folsom Lake twice. My garmin said I detoured .4 miles each time. That sounds about right and it was worth every additional step. However on my last swim I lost my favorite sunglasses....uhgggg. I finally found the finish line in 11:28. The course is 52.4 miles and 6,920 feet of ascent. It's a great course. I loved the fact we were running to No Hands Bridge and back. The race staff and volunteers were great. They really took care of us out there. They were awesome and very encouraging.

I am pretty pleased with how my body and system held up. This was fairly extreme heat for me and I am thrilled I held up as well as I did. My legs were fine the next day. I really didn't get the opportunity to trash my physical self. I drank a ton of fluids the following 2 days but was still a raisin. I drank and drank. Today I am still not at my post race weight so either I had miraculous weight loss out there or I am still making up for water loss. It was a great training torture for Javelina! The moral of this story is if you suffer from FOMO you should seek help as you might find yourself in hot water!

Is there a pill for speed?

2010-09-16T17:14:00.000-07:00

I love the mountains and especially love the mountain 100M races. The one thing I don't like about them is the training can rob me of what little leg speed I have. On my last long run as I was making my way down Lief Ericson at a decent clip wondering if maybe one of the reasons I love the tough terrain of a mountain race is because it plays to my strength. I am good climber and always have been. Even as a kid dragging my ski's up the hill in marked off territory wasn't too much trouble. I am sure my low center of gravity helps. :) While I was thinking about how much I love the hill climbing I wondered if I loved it more because it was easier. Of course that didn't set well but I think it might be true. We humans are smart and gravitate to what comes easy. Running fast absolutely does not come easy to me. In order for me to gain one ounce of leg speed I have to work very hard consistently. When I get some I have to nurture it, continue to practice it and most of all I have to constantly force myself to go faster. I think I might be a bit on the lazy side when it comes to the speed side of running. I can easily justify walking. I can easily talk myself into moderation when it comes to the breathing hard piece. Hell, I hate gasping for air. I feel like my legs are screaming at me, "Slow down you fool this is not comfortable". However much I enjoy a good steady hill climb I love the idea of becoming faster.

Javelina is a flat course. I am going to have run there. I am going to have to run most of the race so all my training consists of running. Imagine that? An ultra runner who is going to be running. Of course I am running while training for the mountain 100M but the slow steady threshold hill climb is my favorite workout. In fact, when I had a threshold test done on hill and flat I had a higher threshold on the hill! That was a total reflection of my training. Though I am proud to have these large glutes I really really want to run fast! I am running fast right now and it is hard but I love conquering the weakness. I love the fact that I can't do it. It pisses me off! Currently I am consumed with speed. I am in constant contact with my fast twitch muscles...all 6 of them. I certainly don't want to give the impression that I am fast because it's all relative. What I am doing to chasing everyone I can find around forest park. I've got routes, paces, loops and numbers assigned to all of them. I am going to be faster. I am going to become one with the awful loud hard breathing that comes from running fast. All 6 of my fast twitch muscles are going to need to "man up" and carry the load. There will be no talking on any of my fast runs. I refuse to allow myself to be social during this time. I will be smiling and I will be happy watching my legs spin like crazy but I won't be discussing it. I will be listening if I can hear anything over the loud obnoxious breathing. Don't be alarmed just pretend it's exercise induced asthma. I need to get fast quickly. :)

Routine, goals, changes.

2010-09-07T13:44:00.000-07:00

Alex is off to his first day of High School. I would post a picture but he refused to allow us to take one. He was excited and nervous but mostly it was Bill and I who needed a hug. He's going to a small school and is involved in football so he knows lots of kids. This will make the transition easier. Bill took the morning off and we both drove him there expecting it to be a jittery event but he hopped out of the car and was off. For me this means routine is back in order. Summer was hard this year. Alex is just old enough to be more independent but I was having a really hard time letting him. With all his summer activities it made my routine fly out the window. I just rolled with it but now am craving the schedule.

I am only 6 short weeks out from Javelina 100M and the training has been going very well. My new coach is quite different than Scott. Change is good. However, letting go is a bit hard but it's exactly what I needed and am embracing it fully. Running is simple but how you put it all together to maximize time and energy is hard. For me the challenge is and most likely always will be not over doing. Once I put my money down I do what I am told. So far I have 2 hard runs a week and the rest are comfortable. During the summer I added spinning to my schedule and am doing that about 3 days a week as additional recovery. I try to keep it short. No more than 45 minutes per class. I am liking the additional strength in my medial quads. Cyclist's have rock-in legs so I put a pair on my vision board to inspire me. :) As part of my training for Javelina I signed up for a double marathon in CA. Susan and her friend are going down and I get to crash their party or add mischief to it. Susan is using it as final prep for her 100M in Kansas. The terrain is perfect for Javelina and the timing seemed right. I am excited to do something new. Which bring me to my next plan.

I have felt a bit stale lately. I really feel the need to see and experience some new stuff. For 2011 I have come up with a list of races I want to do. Many of them will be new. It's time for me to pick some races I have never done before. In 07 when I did the Grand Slam and finished the Leadville 100M I was immediately drawn to the Leadwoman. Bill remembers me talking non-stop about it for a month. I came home and in the Fall bought a mountain bike. Well it got dusty after I really hurt my knee riding. My refusal to learn how to use clips cost me plenty and my recovery was not fun. The following year I put in the Leadville 100 Mountain Bike race and didn't get in. I moved on. Well I've moved back. After being there this year for Micheal's race I got the itch again. And.....I found out (almost 90% sure) you can get into the MTB race if you sign up for the Leadman or Leadwoman event. I can't stop thinking about it so therefore I need to do it. If this entry policy is the case I am going to do it! Bill is all in. Alex.....only if don't make him climb another 14er, I am sure I will. This means I need to learn to ride my really nice full carbon mountain bike! I don't have a clue how to ride but I have friends in all the right places. Kris and her soon to be hubby are experts so I am lined up with a couple of events. Also, Susan's hubby Rich can give more info about how to ride a bike than I will ever need to know. Finishing the MTB in under 12 hours is a requirement. I think that's pretty stiff and will most certainly be my biggest hurdle. I am excited! The Leadwoman event starts with the Leadville Marathon on July 9th then 2 weeks later you can choose the 50 mile run or 50 mile MTB. 2 Weeks later you need to complete the 100M MTB race then the following day the 10K run. The finale is a week later when you run the Leadville 100M run. I better get those tires pumped up!

Like home made apple pie or monster trucks!

2010-09-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

You know the feeling you get when at a moment everything feels super right? Like when you drive through the country and all the houses are perfectly manicured, swings sit on the porch and an old couple is holding hands as they watch the cars stroll by. Or maybe when you go into an old diner and you see the lady that seems to have worked there for 100 years is still wearing a full apron? I remember running Vermont 100M and my whole day was like a step back in time. It a super peaceful feeling. From the start of the race to then end. As we made our way through a countryside where at any moment George Washington complete with a wig could pop out of the woods and say hello, it was peaceful. For me small towns where people still wear cowboy hats, men still hunt and woman can things they grew in the garden is comfortable. I loved going to my grandmothers house as an adult. Since I spent most of my youth there taking in all I just described going back was settling. As a youth I couldn't wait to escape it, find my way, be different and vowed to not be so narrow. Not narrow in a bad sort of way because it certainly wasn't that. Though my roots are from a really small town and none of my family made it past high school they were pushing the limits constantly. Some of those limits should not have been pushed and re-direction would have been a good idea none the less they were solid in who they were. In this small town where seriously everyone knew everyone and everyone knew more about you than you wished there was no way to hide a damn thing. I pushed all my limits in this tiny town and has plenty of accomplices but we didn't get away with anything. Though I couldn't wait to get he hell out of dodge I can keenly sense when I feel at home.

At the Lululemon Ambassador Summit we spent 3 full days discovery how to push ourselves to dream the next dream. Where to go when it seems impossible. How to be authentic! How false humility doesn't serve anyone. How to project a positive Ego. I was exhausted taking in every detail. We went through an intense goal setting session. An area I thought I had down pat. I set goals. I am achiever so this will be cake. So I thought. I did find I am a great visionary. I could describe my 10 year vision with amazing detail down to the feel of the couch. What I didn't do well was my 1-3 vision. The immense blur that took over my brain was interesting. Give me a month to a year and I can do it but that in between area was a total loss for me. Bill and I talk about our future all the time. Me make plans and we get detailed. We can see ourselves in the future, where we want to live, how we want to live and basically what we'll eat. But, we are so busy dealing with day to day life we rarely think about 1-3 years from now. That made me think about my grandmother's house. Why? Because I want Alex to have that same feeling when he is an adult. I want him to WANT to come visit. To bring his wife and kids over to our house. I want him to feel a sense of belonging and authenticity from me and Bill. So far, I think we have done a good job of that but now it's time to really step it up. As Alex grows and change I want him to think of Bill and I as real. I mean the kind of people that don't just say stuff that sounds good. Since my 10 year vision includes Alex and his future family I better make sure the next 3 years I do the work to make it happen. One thing my crazy family did for right or wrong was show everyone who they were. Therefore I am not fake. Never have been good at being something or someone other than me. My friends say I have no poker face and they're right. For years I found this to be a weakness. If only I could slap that sticky smile on my face things would be so much easier. Though my lips are bent my eyes say it all. I have my up bringing to thank for this and I am learning this is so more of a gift than a curse. Being authentic and true is powerful. I am not in any way saying if I hate the color of your hair I need to say it. Or, if you ask me do I like the color of your hair I need to say it sucks. It just means I don't need to say, "I love it" and smile. Being authentic does not mean all the noise in my head that normally plays at every turn (you know what I mean) needs to come spewing out my mouth. What it does mean is I don't need to apologize for what I choose to do or how I choose to live. In my small town hardly anyone did that. They couldn't. I find in our world today where media is king and Sunday breakfast at the diner doesn't exist much the opportunity to be authentic is lost. The opportunity to touch people's life for real can be missed. The depth of our relationships can be a bit shallow. Lot's of time people are apologizing for their success so others feel better and are seemingly more acceptable to be around.

Going to my 25th class reunion was like taking a step back in time. Ironically it was 2 days after I got home from the Ambassador Summit so my mind was spinning. What I found was just what I left 25 years ago. A group of kids who are now full grown adults who are just like they were. Not that they haven't changed and grown but they are authentic. The group of kids who were dear and near to my youth are still just the same but older. I loved it. I was lucky to have such a life as a youth. However, if you would have asked me that at 16 I would have told you to pound sand...this sucks. Times were hard for my family and they had issues but they taught me to be real and that nothing is wrong with us. My friends were real. The best part is I haven't changed. My family is real and my friends are too. I now find comfort in knowing I have created an environment where being an authentic person is comforting. The peacefulness I found at my grandmother's house might not be coming from where I originally thought. Maybe it's a place where you can be you. Take it leave it. That is what I to give Alex.

Rekindling!

2010-08-02T17:11:00.000-07:00

(photo by: Glen Tachiyama)

I needed to rekindle my love affair with the trail. The relationship needed some serious attention because I have neglected it a bit. I loaded my IPOD with every love song I ever enjoyed. The playlist crossed decades of ballads. Some good, some cheesy and some so beautiful they can make you cry. White River 50M was my first ever mountain 50 mile race so a decade later I needed to go back and revive my relationship with trail.

I didn't have a plan. The only thing I did was print off an 11 hour pace chart so I could be sure I had enough fuel. My goal was to completely immerse myself in the trail and event. I wanted to feel and experience everything. I wanted to have moments of glory and not fight the lows. I needed to re-learn how to run a tough ultra. Sounds stupid but it is undoubtedly the truth. I have focused so much on gaining fitness and very little on how to manage that fitness. My fueling needed attention, my pain sensors needed understanding and I needed to reconnect to all that goes on in a tough long ultra event. I have a fit body but when it's not managed and nurtured it means nothing. I forgot how to deal with discomfort or lows. I have been muscling through them. That clearly does not work for me. With my confidence in the toilet I vowed to let all expectations go and rekindle a romance.

Race morning came and I was casual. I wasn't nervous or anxious. This would be my 6th running of WR50 and know the course. It's beautiful, tough and offers some of the best views of any 50 I have run. It's like home. Since it takes place in WA there are many familiar faces, friends and lots of support. We lined up and it was time to have fun. I ran comfortably to the first aid station where I turned on my IPOD. It was time to get settled and work on my relationship. I was incredibly ready for whatever came my way. Good and bad moments were welcomed. I was humbled and raw. No better day to start over. The first climb is long and there's lots passing. People are working hard. Lots of racing since it is the USATF Championships. All of us who were USATF had to were flags with our age on our butts so all the competitors knew who they

needed to beat. I wasn't here to push myself like that. Not this day. I pulled over many times during the first 13 mile climb. I met new friends, talked with old ones. I ran till I was breathing hard then backed off. I completely let go and used the terrain as my meter. Not my watch. I felt incredibly strong. I knew I was physically fit. I fueled diligently and timely. I managed my salts which has been a joke lately. By mile 14 I was beginning to see the leaders coming back. We shared the trail for a couple of miles which allowed me to see my friends. Micheal was looking very strong. Amy was coming up the hill comfortably. Gary was looking fresh after Tahoe 100M. Cheri was having a fine day. High fives were being exchanged. I got to appreciate one of the greatest things about this particular sport. That is, the really fast runners who are very talented share their enthusiasm for this adventure with everyone.

Scott Jurek will pause and give a high five while racing. What other sport offers such inspiration? When I got to Corral Pass (mile 16.9) I casually filled my tanker, emptied my garbage, opened my food choice, wished Allison the best day ever and left. I walked out eating. It was early but I was having a great day thus far. The descent into Buck Creek is made up of really sweet single track complete with technical switchbacks. I vowed to let gravity to be my guide, not fall and hopefully avoid any bee stings. I had my first moment of glory on this section. A time when you are running so fast you feel like you could fly. That feeling of pure bliss. A running high you want to last and last. A time where nothing else exists and you feel endless boundless energy. This is truly what brings many of us back to this sport. The question of, "Why do you do this"? For this! Those moments that are hard to explain but anyone who has had one knows exactly what I am talking about. When the story is shared the other persons eyes light up as if they are right there with you.

They can do that because they've been there and can't wait to go back. I live for these moments. I arrived at Buck Creek (mile 27.9) and glanced at my watch. I was running much better than I thought. Though I was pleased to see the time it meant very little except to remind me I do belong here. I am fit and strong. A feeling that has been missing for too long. I retrieved my drop bag, resupplied and headed off the second long climb to Suntop.

The day was beginning to heat up. The trail was warm on the way to Fawn Ridge. I walked and ran when I felt like it which wasn't much. I listened to my music and got engulfed in the deepest meaning of every song. I began to feel some tightness in my quads. My butt was a bit tired. This was one of the moments I was waiting for. This is where the meat is. This is where ultra running gets juicy. There are so many ways to handle pain. I wanted to learn to work with it again. Not avoid it and certainly not dull it with Advil. I needed to use it for fuel. I changed things up to alter the discomfort. I started running. Forcing myself to allow my heart rate to climb. When my lungs began to burn I kept going. The feeling of heaviness began to fade and my quads began to work with less stress. I was doing it. I was nurturing my body for endurance vs. battling it. There is a time and place for the battle but this was not one of them for me. I was fueling the fatigue. Gaining control of the all my efforts and working with it.

Leaving Fawn Ridge to finish the last 6 miles of the climb to Suntop I was on top of the world. Moment of glory number 2 had arrived! I felt like I had won the lottery. I was strong and had tons of energy. I was moving very well and running hard when the terrain would allow me. I had so much joy I was almost shaking. I was on cloud 9! The views were incredible on ridge and I wanted to pinch myself but feared I might wake up because seriously this was like a dream. Corny and sappy as it may sound that is truly how I felt. The climb to Suntop (mile 37) was over before I knew it. Nothing could kill my buzz. Not even the gal who heard me singing and told me not to quit my day job. I smiled and informed her I didn't have a day job. The day was coming to the final stage. I couldn't believe it. Here I was still strong and mentally untaxed.

I flew down the 7 mile gravel road. I felt my quads but loved it. They were working hard and earned the pain. At every twist of the road I would get a glimpse of the airstrip below. The final destination. We were so high above it. That sight in of itself was character building. The final 6+ miles of this journey gave me goose bumps. At Skookum Flats (Mile 43.6) I looked at my watch and figured I could break 10 hours if I gave it focus. My PR was 9:59 so I had a shot at a PR today. I almost chocked when I learned this. Of all the days to have a PR. Unbelievable! A race where I seriously spent every step searching for bliss and understanding. A day of reckoning, humility, honor, learning and feeling. Not a day a pushing. I got some water and left feeling like my relationship was mended. My appreciation for the difficulty of this sport was understood. My mind and body melded as it should in this kind of endeavor. My love for the trails and all the solace and clarity it offers was appreciated. With 6 miles left I felt I could kick it up and get that PR. I did, running 9:51. I crossed the finish line renewed and filled up. Not low and complicated. I felt like that 33 year old who stepped foot on this course 10 years ago and was blown away by

all this sport has to offer. How can 10 short hours bring so much clarity and pure joy? That's why we keep coming back and getting filled up time and time again. Topping off the day I got 8th overall, 2nd masters (Meggan won so it opened up a slot) and $250 smackers!

I woke up on Sunday still high from the feeling of simply feeling if that can make any sense. I am still humbled and hopefully will forever have the foresight to know I can't be down for long. But, I need to know I can be down and pick myself back up, dust myself off, learn a lesson or two and once again feel strong. I am incredibly grateful for the my day at White River! I am also incredibly grateful to all of you who read this blog and always have really great words of wisdom and advice.

Photo 1 by: Glen Tachiyama

Photo 3 & 4 by: John Wallace III

Photo 2 & 5 by: Eric Barnes

Motivation through others!

2010-07-24T15:40:00.000-07:00

Though I am truly un-funking myself I have not put pen to paper and lived with a schedule. A schedule is a comforting tool for me. I love the discipline and thrive in a rigid environment. So why haven't I gotten myself buckled down? I think I am just not quite motivated to do so...yet. I know I am just about to jump out of this though because I am getting very antsy and watching my friends kick butt is motivating me. Though a defined schedule does not exist I have been running and working out a lot. But, mostly I have had the pleasure of watching Micheal prepare for Leadville.

Micheal and I have been friends for years now. Our family's have come together and the support system is special. Micheal is a talented runner. Far more than he will admit. He is in this sport for the social and physical outlet. Not necessarily to PR at races. He is completely content to just hang with friends and go at their pace. This works perfectly for me. He's faster, stronger, more positive and always willing dredge along at my pace. However he is running Leadville in a few weeks and I have nothing on the books until October. I have pulled out of Wasatch because it falls on Alex's first week of High School and though I am sure he won't need me I need to be here. I don't want to be in Utah while he goes off to his first week of a big time in his life. Not because I think he is going to fall apart but I know I will. :) Wasatch is way to hard of race to line up feeling sad and guilty thinking I need to be at home so it will have to be shelved for now.

Since I am a free wheeling jogger right now Micheal has no anchor holding him back. He also is running Leadville where the air is thin and the trails/roads are fast. Being in

the best cardio shape is the way to go when you live at sea level and won't be acclimating. This means Micheal is having to do some speedwork. I don't know if I ever remember him doing speedwork. He is now and it is paying dividends. I have been on his hill repeat runs and can't believe his times. They are more than 5 minutes faster than my fastest ascent. That's 2+ minutes per mile straight uphill. It's awesome. I tried to join him on the last push of his Sunday run. With a screaming pace of 6:50's after running hill repeats on Saturday and meeting him at mile 17 of his Sunday run I had to cry uncle. I simply could not keep up.

We headed out to the Wilson River trail last weekend only to have him worry about me since it took me 20+ minutes longer to get back to the car. It's been a total blast watching him get so strong and fast. It's been frustrating and motivating as I desperately try to keep up. I have a feeling I will be dropped as pacer at Leadville and nothing will make me more happy. I already have ideas on how Lisa can pick me up and shuttle me further to catch him.

White River 50M is next Saturday. Micheal, Cheri and I are all heading up to run it. This will be my 5th time at WR and I am looking forward to a comfortable day on the trail. I am in no mood to push myself to achieve any PR or even a great finish. I am certainly fit enough but frankly just don't feel like throwing myself into a heads down, push hard mode. I am smart enough to know that I can't trick myself into racing WR. It's

too long and too hard. However, when I get home I start training for Javelina 100M. I signed up for the race once I made the final decision to pull the plug on Wasatch. It's been on my list but I have never been willing to give up a mountain run to do it. Since I won't have a late season mountain run this seemed like the perfect fit. Plus, I needed to do something. Poor Bill was walking around the house at 5 am with his IPAD trying to find me something to do. This idol ho hum Ronda is not cute! He says, "The problem is if your not busy and driving the rest of us suffer". Of course he is saying it with the sweetest tone.

Bill and friends are going around Rainier is 2 weeks! That will be really cool. Bill and Alex have been super busy touring around Europe and hiking the Alps. So for 2 weeks it was just me! I had full intentions of becoming very productive around the house. I have accomplished zip! Instead I have been hanging with friends, talking, sharing, eating, running, spinning and lifting. It was great and just what I needed.

Emerging!

2010-07-12T14:49:00.000-07:00

I might just be emerging from post traumatic DNF syndrome. This has taken it's toll on me. I thought about whether or not to share this or whether or not to be honest. Since I have tried to keep it real here I guess this post should be no different. It's somewhat embarrassing to admit how I have felt the past couple of weeks. Post Bighorn I was so incredibly sick that all I got to do was lay around and be in my own head. That's not a good space after something like Bighorn. Though it's just another day I felt serious anger and sadness over the whole ordeal. Possibly due to fact that I couldn't do my normal behavior which is to march forward with new resolve because I was sick played a roll. I am not sure but one thing is for sure. I was down and out.

I was literally lost for motivation. Parts of me wanted to crawl in my bed and forget physical movement. All the while some part of me was getting really frustrated with that lazy part. The battle ensued for days. The mood changed from hour to hour. I was getting so baffled at which path I was going to take. I felt like my body was slamming into one wall then another. Feeling tired is normal after being sick and disappointed. Generally the waiting game is the only way to approach the situation. Just continue to march forward and eventually the blah feeling will diminish. You will get distracted and life will go on. You will emerge and the drive and motivation will be restored. However, it wasn't working for me. I found myself not acting anything like myself. That is disturbing! I know myself really well and I know how to move forward into the storm of pain both mental and physical, take the shots and come out of it stronger and more motivated. Not this time. I was beginning to wonder if I had a serious problem. Wondering if I was taking this DNF way to far? Wondering if I was using it as an excuse? Wondering if I will ever want to train again? Wondering if I will never WANT to train again then what? The biggest problem of all was the lack of control over my emotions and how to change my mind so to speak. The talks I had with myself about the endless pity party was getting mean. I simply could not shake this emotional low.

Then a moment of clarity came. I am sitting at the gym eating my lunch when a friend comes by sits down and asks me about Bighorn. I give the short version but when I said I didn't finish my face looked over and I lost it. It was the first time in the last three weeks that anyone said it's okay to be sad and disappointed. As a fellow endurance athlete it was as if he knew exactly the feeling of failure. Until then It's been chin up Ronda. Trying to be strong and muster it up and not let it bother me. It just running ya know. It's just a race. Get over it. Showing weakness is not a strong suit for me and I have barely shed a tear over of this but at that moment I busted out with full on sobs. Sad but true. Three weeks later the feeling of disappointment took on it's own life and I had no control but to just sit there and bawl like a baby to someone I barely know. The best part about it was the incredible release of pent up sadness gushed out. All my thoughts of sadness came spilling out and maybe that was the most freeing. The other part was feeling understood and not judged for being so sad. Not being told it's just a race or there will be other days. I think not acknowledging what a DNF at Bighorn meant was a mistake. I put a lot time and energy into this race and should have allowed myself to be sad and disappointed. Instead I tried to do my normal thing. Just move on and do better. That is exactly what I need to do but I was stuck! No one really cares about such things. In the big scheme of life they are nothing but for three weeks it's been something. I finally think I might be emerging and after my emotional outburst I went running and my IPOD cued up Ryan Stars, "It's a brand new day". I smiled as the chorus sung"

Dream

Send me a sign

Turn back the clock

Give me some time

I need to break out

And make a new name

Let's open our eyes

To the brand new day

It's a brand new day

I fought the trail but the trail won!

2010-06-20T15:55:00.000-07:00

I can break down my Bighorn attempt into 4 categories. The four categories are, the bad, the ridiculous or funny, the great and of course the lessons. I'll get the bad news over with first.

THE BAD: I DNF'ed! When I checked in on Thursday my blood pressure reading was 101/51. The medic checks it twice then asks me if this is normal. All runners have low blood pressure but for me I know when I see a lower than 58 reading on the bottom that's too low. I've had this combination of hypotension and hypothyroid for about 5 years. It's fairly common among endurance athletes but there are a couple of things that can cause symptoms to get out of hand.

Altitude and cold can really make the body freak when the circulation is compromised. Being at all dehydrated or low on sodium coupled with the altitude and cold took my body for the ride of it's life. I was absolutely prepared to be cold up at Porcupine Pass. This is the high point of race at 8,900 feet. It's also the 50 mile turn around and due to the late start time it put me arriving somewhere between 10 and midnight. The amount of standing water on the course near the turnaround along with freezing temperature took my body into a tail spin I couldn't get out of. I arrived absolutely freezing with all my clothes on. I couldn't feel my lower legs up to about mid shin. I got in the car to change shoes and clothes and immediately started uncontrollable shivers. I got out quick and got going thinking once I got out of the freezing water section and down lower I could warm up and all would be good. I got out of it began to get feeling back in my hands and legs but never came around. I gave myself miles

of emotional abuse wondering if I am just simply wimping out and letting myself and everyone else down. Wondering if failure was defining me. The emotional thrashing lasted a really long time. The battle between my body and my mind was intense and absolutely raw. Trying to separate the two and figure out how pull myself around was incredible and frustrating. It was a wicked ride. I gave it all I had. I tried everything I knew how to do, eat, drink, go slow, be positive, sit at aid stations, drink broth and coke. By mile 80 I was losing it big time. By arms were swelling, I had shortness of breath, dizzy malaise and felt like I was ready to call it good on life. I knew it was over for me. All the hard work and big expectations I set were going to be left at mile 82. It was the last checkpoint for crew and I honestly was scared to leave. It was the only decision I could make at the time and though I have questioned it for over 24 hours now all I can do is learn how to prevent it or control it for future races. Bill was crushed when he saw me. I knew he was worried. Micheal did everything to try to keep me going. Even holding me up. It was not a pretty picture, I was out of it, pissed, disappointed and pretty done with myself!

Now on to the better parts of the race because there were some funny or ridiculous happenings along with some great moments and of course a few lessons.

THE FUNNY OR RIDICULOUS: We left on Portland on Thursday morning. Of course I was hydrating like crazy so as soon as they said we could use the bathroom I think I ran my best race to the bathroom. Upon exiting the restroom while wearing flip flops I caught my baby toe on the door hinge and broke it. I heard the crack felt the pain and watched the 2 rows of people by the bathroom turn and watch me reach down in pain. I go back to my seat and watch it grow, turn red and I think to myself, really! I decide it will be a distraction and we don't run on our baby toe anyway. Fortunately I have a really short baby toe. It throbbed all night and I had to prop the covers up with a pillow. It was no picnic putting it in my running shoes in the morning either. Fortunately after about 15 miles it has swollen up enough to just be a mild irritant.

Leaving the first crew point at mile 13.4 the wildflowers were beautiful. The lupine were blooming and they were bright purple. Birds were singing and bees were buzzing. One of those buzzing bees flew right into my mouth! I stop, spit and try to cough it out. It's flying around my mouth caught in saliva and what seemed like a minute but was more like 10 seconds he finally got spit out. I was incredibly thankful he didn't sting me. I would have been in big trouble. However, I knew Kelly Ridgeway was behind me and she's a nurse so I knew I would't die. Ok then!

Going along the race course on my merry way enjoying my music feeling strong I come up out of a drainage right after The Narrows aid station at about mile 53 and there's a moose starring at me. I've heard the stories of Karl's moose and they warned us this section had moose. I clap and hoot at her and I not afraid because I know there are a couple of runners behind me. However, Ms. Moose starts to make some sort of snorting sound while trotting at me on the trail. I decide to turn around and head near a tree. She stops and just stands there looking my direction. Fortunately two medics on horses came and scared her up the hill. Hmmmmm...

Now with the moose up the hill and making my way further up the course to Spring Marsh

I come up on two elk. Unlike the moose they get spooked and trot up the hill yelling at me. I begin to wonder if I am going to see a bear next? Now my headphones are OFF I am eagle eying my surrounding but not enough to stop myself from missing a turn. Following 4 others runners who are good 20 yards ahead of me all is fine until one stops and discovers we are not on course. We know the trail is somewhere above us because the river is below. We cross country uphill for about a quarter of a mile and run into the trail. Seems I am having quite a day so far. On to the dark cold night.

As the sun goes down and the course continues to climb the trail just get wetter and muddier. I make my way to the turn get myself out of there with Micheal and we head home. We come into Spring Marsh aid station and I stop, grab a cup of warm broth, take a step back right into a hole. My left ankle twists but good. It hurt really bad and took my breath away. I spill most of my broth and begin to walk it off. I can feel it getting larger in my shoe as we go along. So here I have made it over 55 miles on rocky technical terrain, slippery mud, logs, cross country water swamps without one fall or twist and I can't seem to walk around an aid station without incident. My patience is certainly being tested.

We continue on. My my feet are still frozen, my left baby toe is broke and my left ankle is swollen but I am still in good spirits. Since their frozen I can't feel them anyway. I am beginning to sound like a country song but this is all just fun times and makes me laugh. We are running along the river making our way back to Footbridge when we come upon a runner who is walking but looks good. We ask if needs anything and he replies, "Do you guys see a low fog"? Micheal replies, "uh...No". The guy says, "So there's no low fog". Shit it's 36 degrees and clear skies. There is no fog. The guy says, "damn, my eyes are going". Just another day on the trail.

Now that the bad news is out of the way and I've shared my ridiculous or funny moments it's on to the great things about being at the Bighorn.

GREAT THINGS: The Oregon contingent was full of talent and experience. It was an honor to be among them. Past winners, veterans, new speedsters and first timers made up one cool crowd. Since it's an out and back you get to see everyone. It's motivating, emotional and special. Watching everyone battle for their day whether it was chasing a win, a course record, a cutoff or their first finish was really fun and exciting.

I got a treat at Footbridge. This remote aid station is hard to get to. Most crews don't access it and choose to go to Porcupine Pass instead. I was incredibly lucky in having the Gebharbt family come out out and crew me both directions. These are some fabulous people I have had the opportunity to meet. Dan and Bonnie are Sarah's parents who live in Montana but have a cabin at Footbridge. Sarah's sister Betsy ran her first 100M at CCC100M last year. All the Gebhardt family has done their share of ultras. They came out, crewed me, hugged me, encouraged and shoved me onward. They stayed until 4 am. I want to be adopted by that family. They are just cool people and I wish they lived closer!

I finally got to meet Danni! However brief it was nice to see her at Porcupine waiting for her runner who looked very chipper heading in. You know how nice it is to see a friendly face?

Micheal and I got to see a mama deer and a brand new baby on Saturday morning as we made the slog to Bear Camp. The baby must have just been born. It was so small it looked like a cat. That was cool.

Although my day did not turn out how I planned there was some things I did right. I had a body. I was strong. My fueling was spot on. I had a good stomach the whole time. I was conservative and not over doing my pace. My weight was always 2 pounds up from my start weight. Since my shoes were constantly wet and muddy I felt 2 pounds up was about right on. My feet never blistered or got sore. I am not really sore just a bit stiff. The only swelling I have is my ankle and my baby toe.

LESSONS: I already knew this but I got reminded. A 100 mile race is never a gimme! Things can come up that you don't know how to handle. Where to put your mind or how to get it back. Where are the limits? Dissecting my day and making sure I am not over looking, over thinking or

simply ignoring what happened is hard. After about an 1.5 hours I was feeling much better. Once I was out of the race by body did some dry heaving, some bowel issues, hot and cold sweats and some shaking. Once I got in a hot bath and warm I was able to get my faculties back. My breathing pattern returned to normal and seemed perfectly fine. The question? Could I have done all this at Dry Fork (mile 82) and finished? I don't know? There were some symptoms early that I didn't understand but now I do. I had some weird blurry vision at around mile 56. I had my barrier glasses on so I was confused as to why I would have it. That came and went a few times. I had some serious shallow breathing going on. I let myself get too cold. My extremities were frozen. With already compromised circulation and probably some mild dehydration you always get running an ultra I couldn't get warm even when the sun came up. I need to understand how better to handle early signs of issues and figure out to stop my body from going into a tail spin. Oh, and don't wear flip flops before your race!

No Regrets!

2010-06-07T15:41:00.001-07:00

Bighorn training is complete. I can't believe it's over. I am thrilled with how it all went and I am ready. With only 11 days before we line up this will be a very short taper. This is how my schedule was originally planned and I think it's going to be the perfect amount. After my last post when I claimed to be very tired I jinxed myself. Bill got the flu and within 3 days I had too. Fortunately it was fast and furious. I missed one short run and instead laid in a shivery fever ball on the couch. By Friday I was running again. I remember getting the flu before a race several years ago and someone told me the antibodies I develop to fight off the flu will make me stronger. I went with that thought this time. :) From now until the race I will maintain some quality in my runs in order to keep my body guessing. Mostly I want to prevent if from heading into a deep slumber! As I mentioned in my last post this is the only training plan in which I have stuck with 4 week cycles all they way to the end. I definitely noticed two diferences. First, the Tuesday 2 hour tempo trail run after the Build 2 weekends work was hard. My legs didn't feel ready to rip around single track. It would take me longer to get all the blood moving in a synergistic fashion. My pace stayed strong but the effort seemed harder. Second, the third week of hill repeats were a challenge both mentally and physically. They were mentally challenging because I was well aware of what they require. It seemed like my cardio was ready and willing but my legs were protesting the long climb at hill repeat pace. The first repeat was always harder. The second seemed better but my eyes would start to roll in my head. The third was just necessary work. I am not sure if keeping this 4 week cycle is beneficial, if pushing through that discomfort will make me better prepared for what I know will come in a 100M run. I will let you know mid June. :)

It's been raining for over a month here in Portland. I generally don't get the weather blues but these grey cold wet days have gotten to me. I am ready to see some sun! For my final weekend of training we were treated to rare but needed sun sighting. On Saturday the skies were amazingly blue and the sun was so warm. However, that quickly ended leaving my final run on Sunday a total soaker. It was so rainy and cold. Six hours was about all I could take! I literally rung out my clothes while running. My shirt was so heavy from water it started to turn into a dress! My gloves were absolutely useless and the stream crossing were right down sketchy. One slip and you were part of a waterfall. Rain, mud, water and cold was nothing short of pure character building. Best of all, Micheal and I laughed at the absurdity of what we were doing. Running along the Benson Plateau in a cloud!

Of all the 100M races I have trained for I have to say this has been the best on many levels. It's been fun to share the training with Micheal, Cheri, Carrie, Amy, Susan and all the others I got the opportunity to hang out with. The Oregon contingent heading to Bighorn is going to be fun to watch. Everyone seems ready and excited to tackle those mountains. With the out and back venue there will be lots of motivation and encouragement. I set some goals early in the season

and kept those forefront in my mind. I wanted to have a mentally positive season free of any negative yuk and that has very much happened leaving feeling upbeat on confident. I wanted to the second day run of my back to back to be strong. All the second days have been more than I could ask for. I really dug into my psyche to push myself physically on that day. With the help of Micheal I was able to see faster and stronger runs. I am very appreciative of all the help. When I wrote down my goals and talked them over with Bill he said he had no doubt I would make all of it happen. Today I found a note he left for me this morning. I will keep much of it to myself but he wrote, "I have never met anyone who lives their truth and asks so much of themselves yet

wakes up and goes to bed with bright eyes and a deep smile. I admire and adore your enthusiasm and bravery. I know you have worked hard though none of us would ever see it in your face or feel it in our day because your strength is seemingly endless....." That was the sweetest and the best note ever! In the wee hours of Bighorn I will have to remember this because I am pretty certain I might not be smiling and have seemingly endless energy. :)

Now I am just hoping they don't call for the Alternate Snow Route. It appears there is still snow at Porcupine Pass and I have no idea at what point they will make the final call but as it stands today there in no news on changing the route. I've run the Alternate Route and am very much looking forward to the normal course.

Swim upstream or drown!

2010-05-24T15:43:00.000-07:00

(a very beat up Ronda)
Two more weeks of training and they are 2 of the hardest. This week and next my miles will climb in the 90's and maybe closer to 100. That's a lot for me. With 4 quality workouts a week and high miles I am feeling tired. It's like a deja vu and I am certainly aware of this feeling but riding the line between over training and appropriate fatigue is hard for me. The teeter totter has the potential to swing either way if I am not attentive. Bighorn will be number 20 something for me. I have to go back and outline the 100M races I have done and funny that I am not sure on the number. I should have it imprinted in my brain but I don't. Seems like yesterday I was lining up at Angeles Crest 100M for my first experience of traveling through the mountains on foot for 100 miles. Since I have run enough of these you would think I have this all figured out but I don't. I think that's why I keep coming back for more. There is always some new lesson or discovery with each and every training regimen. It's like free therapy and rapid growth both physically and mentally.

This will be the only 100M race I have trained for in which I have stuck with 4 week cycles. Generally I have jumped down to 3 week cycles during the Peak Phase. There have been two reasons for that. First, due to the timing of a training race I've had to make adjustments. Second, I need more rest when it gets this intense. This year neither issue came up and here I am on my last 4 week cycle with this week being Build 2. I have to admit, I am feeling tired. The challenge is determining where or why. How much is physical and how much is mental. How can I fool my body with mind tricks? It's much harder is trick my mind, it's smart. I know I am asking a lot out of my body right now. There is no doubt about that. The question is: Is it too much? I am still on the fence and not willing to make that call yet. All my workouts have been measurably positive. What I mean by that is my heart rate and pace coincide. When they start to slip I know it's too much. My mind might be tired. My brain might simply be sluggish when it comes to preparing for my day. I have other people who count on me to be more than a runner. In order to achieve my goals I am extremely organized and routine. Not only do I love that but it's paramount in allowing me to get the workouts I have chosen to do in. Seems like life is busy right now. Lot's of school requirements for Alex and lots of planning for what he needs and wants as he gets ready for High School. Yes, seems a bit early but they start stuff now and their not even done with the 8th grade. Crazy but that's the way it rolls. In order for me to run 4 quality sessions and miles ranging in 80-100 I have to be on my toes. I might be tired of being on my toes. Does any of this matter? Not one damb bit!

It's time to suck it up and get over myself. Time to stop thinking about why I am tired and just continue to use data to guide my last 2 weeks effort. The mind is powerful instrument in either propelling us or detouring us. I have been detoured and hate it so I refuse to succumb to the emotional piece of difficulty and fatigue. Giving in or giving up, however you choose to think about it is not an option. That doesn't mean I am not going to have a pity party or two. I honestly believe the body has it's own cycles and I need to be aware of what it's telling me. Lord knows I have spent enough quality time with it. I should be fully aware of every signal it sends. Are you doing to much? Are you being weak? Hard to to say. Since I am choosing to get over myself it's time to buckle down and do my final preparations. To continue to work on the goals I outlined in the beginning. Find my mantra and man up so to speak.

Last week was capped with Friday hill repeats with 6,800 feet of ascent of which I ran every single step. My legs were burning from the inside out. My glutes were screaming by the end. Saturday I did 30 miles on the Wildwood trail. Not much climb but lots of running on rolling terrain. The mud was crazy leaving dirt clods in my shoes. Perfect training for Bighorn. :) I topped of the weekend with a road 10K. Lululemon put on it's first race. I haven't laced up a pair of road shoes since February and managed to drag myself at a 7:35 pace. I lined up with minimal expectations. Not much beyond participating and supporting the event. Surprisingly I found some legs and was able to run a great pace not breaking 160 beats per minute. Alex and Kari (Micheal and Lisa's) daughter ran the 5K and seemed to really have fun. This week will be a solid bunch of Gorge training. Since Bill has decided to go around Rainier with some friends he might even join the fun.

So besides my general fatigue all is well for Bighorn. Looking forward to pushing myself through this funk and seeing what emerges.

MacDonald Forest 50K

2010-05-09T09:00:00.001-07:00

Capping my peak with the Mac was perfect. MacDonald Forest is one of the oldest true trail runs in Oregon. It offers over 6,500 feet of ascent and winds around the hills just outside of Corvallis. For many it's a tradition with some folks participating for over 15 years. It has the feel of a family reunion. Lots of familiar faces, lots of veterans and many new ultra runners mingle the arboretum before the race. An hour can pass before you know it catching up with everyone who seems to be in the best of moods.

This was my 9th time running the Mac. For many years the course would change depending on what new tortuous trail the RD's would build. It's was always a different distance but always near a 50K. My best year at MacDonald Forest was 5:27 but the course was only slightly over 30 miles. That was the only short year I ran so I can't count that as a PR. For the last 3 years the course has been nearly the same so comparing times is easy. The course is 31.6 miles. My best was 2 years ago when I ran 5:35:49. This year I ran 5:35:56. Close but not cigar. :) However, I felt amazing. To put it in perspective of course I needed to analyze my training and compare both years. My fastest year was 2008 and I had to run hill repeats the day before. Though that was a tough challenge I was only on 3 weeks cycles and my total mileage for the week was only 72. This year I am on 4 week cycles meaning my last rest week was over 3 weeks ago. Since I had to juggle my runs the prior weeks to a Sunday/Monday schedule I had zero days off since last Saturday. With Monday of this same week being my long run I topped this week at 90 miles and 16,000 feet of climbing at an average pace of just over a 10 minute mile. For me that is a whopper week. First my miles are high for what I generally run which is around 80 during the peak phase for a 100M race and my quality is obviously high if I am pushing just over a 10 minute mile for over 16,000 feet of ascent

Skip through the numbers I am simply on cloud nine on how I felt yesterday. I was in complete control of my race. That means I fueled perfectly and I could adjust my gears accordingly. If I needed to bump up the pace I had it. I could climb super well. My uphill strength is probably the best it's been. My downhill running still needs improving but I suspect with the next 4 weeks of training and focusing on that I will see results. I have learned so much about recovery in the last year. How to eat, what to add as supplements and most importantly I feel a strong connection to my body. Listening to my body and reacting according is huge for me. I am a driver so I will push and push. Most times pushing too far only to find myself really tired and not recovery fast enough. Today I feel great. Some would say I should have ran harder. I ran as fast as this body could move but more importantly what this tells me as I have more in me. I am almost ready for the 100M race.

Yesterday was not just a gauge for fitness it was a blast with friends. Micheal, Carrie and I carpooled to the start only to get lost. How do you get lost going to Corvallis? I don't know but thankfully Carrie had her IPhone came in handy and it navigated us through the back country arriving at the start with plenty of time to spare. We chatted and got ourselves prepared for a glorious day full of sunshine which has been a rare but certainly welcome sight. With a field of over 270 it was going to be a busy day on the trails which made it even more fun running with friends. I spent most of my day trying to keep Cheri from passing me. I was successful but it's only a matter of time before she catches me. Now a well earned recovery week. I am ready for it. I know the final three weeks of training before Bighorn are going to be big. I am already planning the perfect runs to top off my training.

In the groove!

2010-05-05T14:38:00.000-07:00

Smack in the middle of the peak phase for Bighorn and I feel great. I don't know if my body just knows it's time to recover rapidly and stay motivated or if my love of the hard push is the driver. Whatever it is I am going with it! MacDonald Forest 50K is this weekend and it will be my final run of the a peak week. No cut back week for me. Miles are stacking up near 90 now with over 20K in climbing per week. My average mile pace for the that load is the best it's been.

Hill repeats are like a welcome friend and so far I have had 2 sessions. Still not beating my time of 42:38 to the first clearing but getting very close. The good news is I feel super strong on all the ascents. I am reaching the clearing with just seconds difference between the repeats so I am giving myself an A+. The first week I only had 2 repeats but last week we started triples. I am slated for triples now for all three weeks of the next cycle. This week will be the end of a 4 week cycle with 1 recovery week. After that it's Build 1, Build 2, Peak, Taper, Taper/Race. That's seems so fast and I am excited.

Following repeats it's been a 5-6 hour run. Those will now increase with the quality going up near the end of each run. So far I have had really nice second day runs. Some of the best I can remember. Maybe it's the exceptional company (thanks for the support friends). Going to add VO2 max stuff for the final cycle. Those workouts will be part of the weekday stuff. The weather could be a bit warmer and less wet but I am not complaining. I might complain when I see that second beating sun at Bighorn. :)

My goal for the next 4 weeks is to stay focused, have fun, stay healthy and make the most of each workout. I want to bring in those second day back to back efforts and make them work. Additionally, I want to continue to keep my mind clear and positive. Continue surrounding myself with awesome motivated people who like to share the fun and the workload. No negative yuk exists and I plan to keep it that way.

Peak Training is here

2010-04-20T12:05:00.000-07:00

59 more days until I get to run Bighorn 100M. The last time I ran it we were forced onto the alternate snow route last minute due to unrelenting snow. I am really hoping we get to do the original course this year. I am seriously looking forward to the grind to Porcupine Pass on the narrow no trail in the wee hours of the night. There is only 8 weeks left so subtracting the 10 day taper that leave 6 weeks of heads down training. This is my favorite part of ultra running.

Not only do I absolutely relish the hard back to backs that start this week I love the challenge of making it all work. With my lovable type A personality the balancing act is almost as hard as the runs. I don't want to miss one sporting event, I don't want eat like crap, I don't want my dishes or laundry to pile up, I don't want my arms to turn to total flab and my wings to grow hair. I'll even admit I don't leave my house without all the beds made. Since I don't live in my own private running world and I have a family who expects me to do more than lay my tired butt on the couch it makes these next weeks the perfect challenge. Success will be measured in 2 ways. First, can I get it all done and still be my happy self? Second, will I rock those hard workouts and get the most out of them? Due to Alex's track schedule I have bumped my week to a Tues. - Mon. schedule for the next three weeks. Track meets are an all day event and I can't miss one to go for a run because I would be running along feeling like a looser so why bother. My week of running will look something like this. 3 long recovery workouts, 1 day off, one long 3A/3B trail effort of at least 2 hours then the back to backs. The back to backs will be 4 hours with 2-3X45 minute hill repeats at lactic threshold which I will do on Sunday. Then on Monday back that up with 6-7 hours of running in the 3A/3B range with some lactic threshold stuff on the second half. Both these days will be in the Gorge. Lucky for me a couple of my friends are going to join in the fun. I can and will go run in the Gorge solo but having company is always good and makes the nerves calmer. During the long tired times every sound in the woods can turn into a cougar stalking or a bear attack in a cluttered lactic acid filled mind. :) So as it stands for the next couple of weeks I have 3 seriously quality runs, 3 recovery efforts and one day off. After MacDonald Forest which just happens to coincide with the end of track season it's back to a normal week for the final training.

How am I going execute. I have cleared my calendar. Nothing but life and running exists for then next 6 weeks! Now that is living. :)

Peterson Ridge Rumble!

2010-04-15T16:00:00.001-07:00

I rumbled, tumbled and stumbled my way through the rumble on Sunday. It took me 5:54:40 or 9:43 pace. I am very pleased with the outcome. With no cut back week and a fairly tired training body I did the best I could do. Most ultra runners use races as training runs. It's a good way to be social, get a good workout, have aid on a course you tend not to run often. However I find the mental aspect of this kind of training situation to be tricky.

Going into a race when your not really putting your head down, focusing and giving your very best is not easy for me. I have such a desire to see how I can improve and I like the challenge of a race environment so lining up and deciding it's going to be a slow one doesn't work for me. Instead I need to line up and let the day unfold. No pre-conceived plan or outcome. I am such a mental case that if I tell myself I am tired and it's going to be painful low and behold it is!

When reality sets in and pain is not temporary the mental games begin. Peterson was a bit of mental game and thankfully I think I won this round. The weather was great and the scenery was perfect. Not to mention the dry trails....ahh something we haven't seen much of lately. The rumble is a running race! With my fitness there is no reason for me to walk here. I forgot how much that hurts. The lack of long climbs to stretch out the body makes my body hurt more. From the get go I was moving with a labored stride. Waiting for my body to warm up and my groove to kick in was a lost hope but I stayed with this thought train for a good 15 miles. Although I continued to hope for this moment all day I only got about 20 minutes of magic. Fortunately and not surprising given it's my standard mode of operation it came at about mile 33 where I caught Bret. That was fun!

So what do you do when your running a training race and you feel like lead? Well, there are a few choices. One, you could quit, two, you could just wallow in it begging for it end or three, see it for what it is...A TRAINING RACE! A race where things are going to be difficult and you just have get over yourself and deal with it. Accept it as part of the process and see it as a step in the right direction for one you want to really give it your best shot. It took me to about mile 15 to get over myself. At which time I was able to become one with the pain and use it as a tool. A good memory for later days.

I don't know what it is about those central Oregon trails but my feet caught everything and most of it invisible. However, let me assure you ladies out there chivalry is not dead. I fell and before I knew it I was being lifted by two men who stopped, snatched me up and wanted to be sure I was fine. I not a tumbler but I have fallen before just to be jumped over and left for dead. I swore Sean installed some sneaky system to catch every toe that passed over it because I was like a rag doll out there. Of course it could have something to do with the fact that my legs were not springing up as they should. It was a fun day, hard but really fun. I got to run a bulk of it with the Corvallis gang and they are simply chatty Kathy's out there making it look effortless.

Bill and Micheal did the 30K. They had a good time and Bill isn't really sore. I punched his quad just be sure and nothing! Now this would be no big deal except Bill didn't really run. He did a few 5 mile runs, one 8 miler and one 17 miler on accident. Cheri rocked the course PRing but something awesome! Good time, good people...thanks Sean!

One small moment.

2010-04-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

Have you ever woken up one day, looked in the mirror and time stands still? You know the feeling, a deja vu, an expression or a moment when everything seems so clear and pure. Today I woke up at my usual time did my usual routine but I had one of the moments. While putting lotion on my leg I noticed my skin wrinkle around my ankles as I rubbed it in. I paused. It was a moment. I rubbed it in some more then sat down. I am young at heart but I am getting older. While sitting there looking at my legs, tan from Hawaii it's as if my skin was talking back at me. It wasn't complaining or making some awful face but rather enlightening me. This is not a post about skin care however I would suggest you where sunscreen. :) Rather it's simply a thought stream. Where did time go? Have I missed anything? I am now 43, have been married for 16 years and my son is already nearing 14. My skin is wrinkling, my hair is over 50% grey but yet I feel like I just got started. I have so many things I want to do yet there have been so many I have already done. How did I not notice the wrinkles on my ankles? The journey is so enriching, frustrating, exhilarating but ultimately it's everything we choose it to be.

I wondered if my entrance in to the world of endurance running has forced me to look at life differently. If all those hours inside my own mind with my own thoughts and the feeling of my own body gave me an opportunity to really understand me. What makes me happy, sad, frustrated, angry but most of all what makes me feel alive. So much that I forget that I am aging! Is there a level of rapid maturity that happens when you have so much time to ponder thoughts? The sharing and understanding you gain from the long trail time with friends. The ones that know you like a book because they spend countless hours watching you go through physical and mental highs and lows. The relaxed feeling of just being you, good and bad is incredibly comforting and satisfying. Can you really be this lucky? Do all those moments add up to a mature individual? For me, I would have to say yes.

There is such a simplicity to life but the complexities of getting it right can be daunting. Today I sat there long enough for Bill to notice the tear in my eye and wandered what on earth could be so troubling. The emotion erupted because of everything but none of it at all troubling. It was a tear of acceptance. A tear of happiness for the opportunity to have so many adventures in such a short period of time. Thankful for it all, good and bad. A tear of true happiness. The wrinkles in my ankle at that moment represented so much. More than I can describe here. They say time flys and whoever said that knew what they were talking about. From my youth of horror, to my crazy 20's where career meant everything, to my 30's when creating family and understanding how to do it all was exhausting, to my 40's where it begins to really gel. I am happy with it all. I wouldn't trade any of my 43 years of experiences because for good or bad it has made this moment perfect. For that moment I got to see it all as clear as day. The feeling on contentment I had at that moment will last. I think it's starting to set in. I wish for everyone to have one of these moments when they look at themselves, their lives and all that surrounds them and feels strong and content. I got a lot out those wrinkles.

I might need a helmet!

2010-04-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

(photo by: Glen Tachiyama)

I can't even call this post Chuckanut Mountain 50K race report. I am so delinquent on blogging. Seems like every time I sit down to post a thought something comes up. Life is busy right now but it's all great stuff so choices are easy.

A small Chuckanut recap: I had nearly a 15 minute PR. I shocked myself! I ran well and had minimal inhibition by my nagging hammy. It gave me some fits on the ridge trail section but seemed to mostly cooperate for the rest of race. The downhills were the worst but I still ran fast with a shortened up stride. The flat section home was a bit edgy. One over stride and zing! Fortunately I was no worse off after the race and a week in Hawaii over spring break was perfect healing. Team Lululemon, Portland has been put together and I am proud to be representing such a fun company. The team gear is super cute and not logoed out. Meggan did a great job pulling this together and hopefully the company will expand the team next year.

Chuckanut was such a great race for me. It really was a stepping stone in bringing my short game up to speed. Cheri and I have been tearing around the trails like crazy using each other as carrots both with intention of making the other work. I absolutely LOVE these kinds of workouts and focus. I have never done this kind of trail work before and it has paid off. Black Saturday's are hard but a totally different kind of hard. The change up is perfect timing for me. I am still working with the Daniel's principles but applying them a bit differently than I have in the past. Using heart rate to determine my workload on the rolling terrain vs. pace. After a tiny scrape on forehead from a dangling branch that come so fast I didn't see it I wondered if we should be wearing helmets on these workouts! Cheri is a fabulous downhiller and I sometimes feel like I am going to kill myself trying to keep up. One false step and I am a goner! My miles are up and my intensity is up in a different way. My trail pace is improving greatly.

Next up Peterson Ridge Rumble 60K next Sunday. Bill, Cheri, Micheal Gary and I all heading up for some Central Oregon trails. Peak training for Bighorn starts after Peterson. I am anxious to see what that entails for weekday stuff. I know the long back to backs will be an element.

Adapting!

2010-03-15T15:42:00.000-07:00

Not quite out the woods with my hamstring/pirifomis issue but certainly far better than last week. Since my last post it's been weighing heavy on my mind and definitely letting me know who's in charge while running. My mind and body have a fairly cohesive relationship. I am kind to my body and in turn it treats me well. Even when I ask it to go beyond it's limits I generally get my way. Each run my issues have lessoned which is great. I am for sure on the mend. I can run Chuckanut and though I assume I will have some trouble and pain on the last flat 6 heading to the finish I will be fine and cause no further problems. Dogging a bullet is always awesome but I am not out of the woods and need to continue strengthening some weak areas. Another possibility is my body is just adapting to the different kind of workload. Maybe a mini protest. I am hoping we have come to an agreement and a new understanding. ;)

I have been getting my butt kicked on training runs. I am the last to arrive at the junctions and the most thrashed. It's been humbling and rewarding at the same time. Watching my friends gain speed and strength is exciting. I am nervous with anticipation every time I show up at the trail head. What's in store for today? These workouts have been really hard but I am certain it's just what the doctor ordered. As a good friend said, "You needed to work on your short game". Those words really hit home because their so right on. Well, this weekend I will get to see if all this trail tempo work is starting to make a difference.

Looking back I found I have run Chuckanut 3 times. I must have blocked out the 6:10 finish because I completely forgot about it. The other two times I ran 5:44 and 5:43. Do you think those are close enough? I hope to run this in the 5:35 to 5:40 range. My plan is to control myself on the first 8 which are fairly flat. I don't think my hamstring can take the fast start. Once I get it good and warmed up I should be fine. If I feel like I am cured I will run faster. It's probably a good strategy to practice self control on the first 8 anyway. Since all the 4000+ feet of climbing comes in the middle going out too fast probably will leave me shuffling very slow on the flat finish. It's going to be a quick but fun trip with friends. The weather looks awesome too!

Oops!

2010-03-08T12:03:00.000-08:00

In the process of getting my butt kicked it kicked me back. Piriformis pain hurts! I have never really had any piriformis issues but my lower head got so pissed off last week I was seriously worried. What started as mild tightness led to right down pain after a leg workout. Not only my piriformis but the outer head of my hamstring attachment also got flared up. Have you have had a swollen butt cheek? Well not only is it ugly it's painful. I didn't get any sciatic stuff probably because it was more in the lower portion of the piriformis. Last Thursday's 10 mile run was darn painful and I found myself dragging my left leg along to the finish. All the downhill running was awful. It hurt so bad with every step. The flat stuff was not good either but manageable. When I got done and home I got busy. I needed information and I needed it fast. Here is what I found and it hits the nail on the head for me.

The obvious cause of piriformis syndrome is overuse. Ultra runners are a walking overuse injury. I know there has to be more to it. Since I haven't suffered from this kind of pain before and I have run a lot miles and at times overuse would be an understatement I knew there was another reason this hit my like a brick.

First ah ha: The movement pattern. The piriformis can get pissed when you do 3 things:

1. When the thigh bone swings too far back (hip joint in hyper-extension). Check! I do this and have blogged about it before.

2. The knee pointing too far outward (hip joint lateral rotation). No! I think I tend to do the opposite more.

3. Thigh bone swung too far out to the side (hip joint abduction). Not sure, so I would say this is not an issue for me.

Part 2 of the movement pattern theory is:

1. Glute Maximus is slow to activate leaving the piriformis as the sole workhorse for rotational movements of the hip.

2. The pirifomis muscle is being asked to do its solo effort working over a shorter range.

This movement theory is really interesting and part 1 causes part 2. So far I think I only do one of the bad movement habits. But, there is another part of the movement pattern and that is postural issues. The postural issues that most likely aid in a poor movement pattern are:

1. The shoulders are behind the line through the back of the butt hence "sway back". BINGO! That is me. With my natural anterior tilt to my pelvis and my years in the weight room I can have a sway back position while running. In my attempt to stand proud with my shoulders back which is a requirement for proper lifting form I have taken that a bit to far. Finding that neutral pelvis is always hard for me but now I have added a very proud chest resulting in the exact issue described here. I knew I was doing this especially on my downhill running. Well now I need to STOP doing it.

2. The gluteal development is poor, "flat butt syndrome". NO! I may have a bit of weakness in some of glutes but overall they are strong. I don't think this applies to me.

My action plan started on Thursday because I knew if I didn't get a handle on it was going to be a full blown injury. Not simply the piriformis but the compensation due to the pain was setting in my outer hamstring head. That was causing some serious pain as well. I started with some mild stretching but not over stretching the already limp muscle. I did not stretch my hamstring but instead rolled it out with a roller and sat on a massage ball which was positioned right in the sweet spot of my hamstring attachment. I cut short my track workout when I realized the lack length in my hip and hamstring along with the pain was not worth the workout. I trigger pointed the lower head of the piriformis with roller and my thumper (electric thumping device). I sat on ice 3 times a day for 20 minutes with 1.5 hours off. The inflammation and pain got better and last night I did some hip and gluteal exercises to help re-connect those muscles with their action and my brain. I also took Advil on my long run Friday. It's been at least 2 years since I have resorted to anti inflammatory stuff but I felt it better to dull the pain and not compensate. I still felt quite a bit of pain on the downhills but it was doable. With last Thursday's run being a 7-8 on the pain meter meaning my mouth would occasionally water it hurt so bad to today being a 2-3 I think I have made progress.

Watching my sway back positioning is key along with the hyper striding especially on the downhills. I sure hope I have dodged a bullet here but thought I would share the info. I found. The article on www.easyvigour.net which outlines all of this.

Despite the pain in the butt, which I deserved, training has been good. Absent the un-productive track workout I am getting stronger on the trails. I am ready for Chuckanut and excited to race. I have run this race 2 times and need to go back and dig up my best but I think it's somewhere around 5:40ish. I am hoping to better this but I remember being in pretty good shape when I ran it last. Plus I had Kris to chase but this year I will have Cheri to chase.

I have been eating non-stop! All great food an my body is digging the higher calories and the abundance of carbs. I have moved to almost all fish for protein. I used to eat tons of chicken but felt so bogged down in the digestion. Since I like to keep my lean muscle I need the protein. Fish is quick to digest so I can get more food in. I have grown a love for salmon and cod. If you have asked me a year ago about fish I would have scrunched up my face big time. The benefits are too good to pass up. The bonus is Alex loves fish, Bill not so much but he's coming around :). For me the issue while training hard is to feed myself enough food to sustain my training and fat loss. Pizza and hamburgers are not part of the plan. :) I made some other changes I am finding beneficial with food timing. Adding fruit at just the right times, recovery drinks directly followed up by a well rounded meal is helping. I am drinking a fair amount of BCAA's because along with running I am doing at least 4 weight workouts. Cheri gave me the book, "Racing Weight" and I have just started it. I am curious to see how the theory differs from the one I follow now.